As we become parents, we want to raise the kids as we want them to be.. sometimes it’s different than the way our mothers or motehrs in law raised us and/or their kids so there comes teh difference.. what did you experience and how did you deal with it?
My mom is very pro doctors and I am not.. during pregnancy, we have had several arguments where I refused to go to teh doc for every sneeze that I have had while she insisted that I knew nothing and must see the doc asap!! We have had arguments where she got upset with me for choosing midwives over the OB (something that I will never do again because of my experience) but I have no doubt in midwives ability to help you give birth naturally!
I cant even imagine the differences once the baby is here..I have a feeling she wont interfere much like she doesnt for my sisters kids but she does get very angry if my sister gives them time out or denies something to her kids.. my mom would rather sneak out a candy or two to the kid to make them happy occassionally!She also never says no to them.. if they say nano we want a new toy, nano will put everything aside to go get the desired toy.. they know it wont fly with their motehr so they never do that with her but only with nano!! My sister has kid of given up on that one and let nano spoil them with their demands!
Share your stories regarding how you dealt with immediate family and their suggestions when they tell you “well we raised kids too” or more bluntly, “we raised you the same way and you turned out just fine”
Its hard. I thought my mom would be really over bearing but she's been lovely. Helpful and supportive gives advice when asked.
My mother in law has sort of been a nightmare. Its been difficult cause we always had a really good relationship but she just doesn't back off. For example she's not a big advocate of breast feeding, she feels that babies will gain weight better if they are formula fed so she's constantly trying to give my son formula. One time I left him with her for an hour so hubby and I could go out.....I left pumped bm as well and when we came home she said that he wouldn't drink it so she gave him formula. I was going to leave it alone cause I thought well she did us a favour by watching him until I found out that she threw the bm away, she said that she felt that it had gone bad....it couldn't have gone bad as I had pumped it right before leaving.
I've been trying to be respectful but its so frustrating. I'm now just honest with her. She pulls the "I raised your husband the same way and he turned out fine" I think its just something everyone has to live with. I know she means the best and I try and see it that way. But when it comes to my son I'm going to do what I feel is best.
As for my sons grandparents spoiling him I don't think I'll have a problem with it, their grandparents I think it comes with the territory.
i m v blunt i just say everything wthout thinking my mum is the most not interfering lady i have ever come across she neither points out anything 2 me nor 2 my sis in law thnk god but of course when v ask her anything she advises us but my mum in law she likes 2 point out everything even 2 ones she is not familar like if she is visiting me so u l point out my frnds also dont do this 2 ur baby or that n once she said 2 me dont wrap tha baby n dont make her wear diaper at night mei ne tu apne bacho ko khula dula pala hai i said good now its my turn ap ne apne bacho ko apni marzi se pala mei apne bacho ko apni marzi se palu gi :)
I actually learned a lot from my mom. She is very careful when it comes to babies. Like they should be dressed in white mostly, they should be kept warm etc. So I agree with pretty much everything she says but sometimes its a lot for me to do alone. I know she is right though. So far I have had no issues with anyone interfering or trying to tell me what to do. Yes peopel tell me all the time what to do.. my MIL, my own mom but for the most part I do listen to them. I believe whatever they are saying is right. I haven't had a chance to live with my MIL after my son was born but she'll be coming next week so lets see. But I truly think she'll be great just like my mom and I'll get to learn a lot from her too. She LOVESSSSSS my son so I have no doubt that she'll only want what's best for him.
Ramsha.. woww I will be offended if someone gave my baby formula while I had bm.. how did she even have formula at hand?!!? I have even included in my birth plan not to give formula or paci to my baby since we want to try bf.
Devilish angel.. yeah makes sense, you raised yorus, let us raise ours! that would be my answer for aunties but not for my mom or mil!!
Spiral.. thats great.. I hope your mil will be understanding and share her wisdom with you.. I was just wondering about the issues and differences that come up with the generation gap.. my mom is very understanding about everything but in her mind midwives are just daye in Pakistan and tehre is no way you can take that out of her mind!! Rest, I cant wait to see how we deal with the baby.. I am sure it will be a learning experience for both of us.. she does say that she doesnt know much about raising kids so we are on our own.. she is there to spoil them and tahts all :D
I was more shocked then offended. I have formula on hand cause I add it to cereal I make for my son.
Honey was a big issue as well. Everyone was saying give the baby honey....I think thats a big one for everyone.
GTG - I know exactly what you mean with the midwife. I felt like I needed to justify myself all the time cause when I said midwife people would automatically assumed I was gonna give birth at home with a daye type lady
I think midwife would've been an issue in my home too if I decided to go with her. My husband, MIL, FIL, SIL.. lol all the IL are all doctors so they would be like umm midwife .. what .. who.. But I had a wonderful experience with my OB so we are all happy.
and you know sometimes we "think" our parents don't know anything.. THEY DO. I went to three different LC after my son was born because he won't latch. My mom came and showed me how to do it and it took him a min to latch on. My son was borin Long Island Jewish Hospital where they emphasize so much on BF but the only person who could help me was my own mom.
Ramsha, I am surprised to hear about your mil's preference with forumula over breast milk. Usually it's the other way around with the older generation.
Ramsha, I am surprised to hear about your mil's preference with forumula over breast milk. Usually it's the other way around with the older generation.
I thought it would have been too but a lot of women in my family weren't supportive of breastfeeding. It was hard at the starting, my son wouldn't latch properly so it took forever to feed him and everyone kept telling me to just give him a bottle and that I probably would never by able to exclusively breast feed.