Well, looking at my parents, all I can say is they were discouraged from having such feelings, and discouraged a lot more to be individuals. Most people I meet from my parents age group have the same values (ok, that could be because they are either my parents siblings or friends), they only differ a bit in how they react in certain situations. They all agree on about the same values.
Now, it is considerably difficult to discourage people from becoming individuals of their own, and actually own their feelings of right/wrong, values they want to live by and people they fall for.
Well, looking at my parents, all I can say is they were discouraged from having such feelings, and discouraged a lot more to be individuals. Most people I meet from my parents age group have the same values (ok, that could be because they are either my parents siblings or friends), they only differ a bit in how they react in certain situations. They all agree on about the same values.
Now, it is considerably difficult to discourage people from becoming individuals of their own, and actually own their feelings of right/wrong, values they want to live by and people they fall for.
With due respect, do not agree with your statement.
What I have observed is that they were more agreeing with the authority over them from their parents and were satisfied and had some other moral values to go by.
No one tries to discourage anyone to become an individual and if becoming an individual means going all the way rebellious then that is still not a normally aceeptable behavior.
Even in these days a lot of parents do not give their blessings to let their children get engaged in "all the way" relation.
Please define the "becoming individuals". I do understand this logic though. :)
By becoming individuals, I mean parents actually seeing their children as adults. And children seeing themselves as responsible adults who are responsible for their lives, that they make decisions based on what they see fit, as opposed to what parents or people around them think is best for them to do.
Do note that I am not generalizing it to every single person. I do believe that things improve considerably with age, when it comes to individuation, however, by that time, most people are already married off. It is also important to clarify that I am discussing a trend that I have noticed.
Rebellion and individuation are not the same thing. However, rebellion is sometimes a good stepping stone towards becoming a psychologically fully-functioning adult (i.e. individual).
"What I have observed is that they were more agreeing with the authority over them from their parents and were satisfied and had some other moral values to go by."
This is what I am talking about. Youth nowadays is questioning authority a lot earlier and that helps them reach their own conclusions. Questioning is one of the processes necessary for individuation.
By becoming individuals, I mean parents actually seeing their children as adults. And children seeing themselves as responsible adults who are responsible for their lives, that they make decisions based on what they see fit, as opposed to what parents or people around them think is best for them to do.
Do note that I am not generalizing it to every single person. I do believe that things improve considerably with age, when it comes to individuation, however, by that time, most people are already married off. It is also important to clarify that I am discussing a trend that I have noticed.
Rebellion and individuation are not the same thing.However, rebellion is sometimes a good stepping stone towards becoming a psychologically fully-functioning adult (i.e. individual).
"What I have observed is that they were more agreeing with the authority over them from their parents and were satisfied and had some other moral values to go by."
This is what I am talking about. Youth nowadays is questioning authority a lot earlier and that helps them reach their own conclusions. Questioning is one of the processes necessary for individuation.
Excellent way to put it and the choice of words to explain it. Except the red part. I would have used inverted commas on the word rebellion. That's all. No argument whatsoever. :)
A while ago I had the discussion with someone and this person read a poetry with essential meaning of " I am the master of my fate and I am the leader of myself".
Regardless how this person in real life got lost and failed in many ways, the argument we had was based on how important is for someone to be exactly like his or her parent’s expectations.
Hours of discussion later we concluded a good night sleep is still better than trying to solve serious issues..
Other conclusion at breakfast table was that a boiled egg without the yellow part is better than fried one.
I would say if you have never been lost and never failed, you have never really lived your life. That is one result you get from questioning authority; confusion and likely failure. But that shouldn’t stop you. You know how they say you fail when you stop trying? Yeah. You do fail when you stop trying to find your answers.
As far as being your own leader is concerned, I take that to mean taking a 100% responsibility for yourself and your life; not relying on other people to make you happy, to make your life worth living, to bring you enough money etc. Again, not saying that we can exist without other people, and being the lonely, vulnerable humans we are, we need people around us. But that does not mean that I will die without the other person. It is extremely difficult to take responsibility for your own life and be your own leader, much more difficult than following others.
100% responsibility also does not mean that you exist in separate spheres. It means willingness to make yourself happy and taking responsibility for the relationships that you have created.
I would say if you have never been lost and never failed, you have never really lived your life. That is one result you get from questioning authority; confusion and likely failure. But that shouldn't stop you. You know how they say you fail when you stop trying? Yeah.You do fail when you stop trying to find your answers.
As far as being your own leader is concerned, I take that to mean taking a 100% responsibility for yourself and your life; not relying on other people to make you happy, to make your life worth living, to bring you enough money etc. Again, not saying that we can exist without other people, and being the lonely, vulnerable humans we are, we need people around us. But that does not mean that I will die without the other person. It is extremely difficult to take responsibility for your own life and be your own leader, much more difficult than following others.
100% responsibility also does not mean that you exist in separate spheres. It means willingness to make yourself happy and taking responsibility for the relationships that you have created.
Wah!
I think in the past I did not agree with one or more of your posts...do not remember when and what they were about but 'curious lady' this is another great post of yours.
Bravo! Agree with the sentences and choice of words again ......
Very well thought off.
Content of discussion we may only 'slightly' disagree but method of description is very good. :)
