ALL of my friends are now engaged and are planning to get married within the next year. Even some friends who are younger than I.
I swear this is like the shaadi/engagement year where EVERYONE I know is breaking news of their engagement or wedding. 
I’m really really really happy for them and inshAllah I wish them ALL the best in their lives but it makes me feel so lonely and depressed that I’m the one who’s left behind with no one.
Re: so Lonely
how in the world a “PATAKA” [ur ID] can be sooooo LONELY! 
u need to phoRo some paTaaKhaa [fire crackers] of ur own infront of Mr. RIGHT! 
Re: so Lonely
Would you rather rush into something that may not be good for you.....just so won't be the one who is "left out" from your friends.........OR..........is it better to wait a little bit and possibly find someone who is really compatible with you? It'll happen when it's meant to be. Put in some effort and pray for the best.
I don't think your issue is that you feel "lonely" because you have friends and especially family that are there for you. There are people in this world that don't even have that. It's not loneliness....it's being "single" that bothers you.....but is it the worst thing that could happen to you? There are people with severe health problems, who are living in poverty, and have bigger issues than you. I'm not trying to invalidate your concerns....but try looking at the bigger picture and reflect over the blessings you have. Support your friends in their happiness. Not everyone has the same destiny. When it's time....it'll happen.
Re: so Lonely
lolll that’s WHEN Mr. right will come around!
I understand what you are saying but my concern is still the same. Yes, there are other people with other problems but hey, everyone has their own issues. I’m not revolving my life around the fact that “omg, i’m single, what am i going to do?” My life is still going on, I go to work, school etc but there’s that feeling of loneliness that I feel. Allah created us as human beings and a part of our human nature is to want to love and be loved.
Re: so Lonely
^And i'm not trying to invaldiate your concerns or saying that you shouldn't have them. But reflection over the positive things that we do have can sometimes bring about some peace of mind. The concern is valid but letting it eat away at you will not make anything happen any sooner. You put your efforts in a rishta search, reflect over any obstacles that may be hindering it, and pray for the best. Also, having a positive attitude...can help the situation to an extent...as our mood/thoughts reflect in our body language and how we interact with others in general, including rishta propsects. Best wishes.
Re: so Lonely
^And i'm not trying to invaldiate your concerns or saying that you shouldn't have them. But reflection over the positive things that we do have can sometimes bring about some peace of mind. The concern is valid but letting it eat away at you will not make anything happen any sooner. You put your efforts in a rishta search, reflect over any obstacles that may be hindering it, and pray for the best. Also, having a positive attitude...can help the situation to an extent...as our mood/thoughts reflect in our body language and how we interact with others in general, including rishta propsects. Best wishes.
you are very right and I agree with you 100%. It's just that being human, lol, I can't help it sometimes.
Re: so Lonely
girl.......i feel your pain. Thats all i can say.
I understand what RV is saying totally too but yes I feel your pain...its like WHY MEEE??haha
Re: so Lonely
girl.......i feel your pain. Thats all i can say.
I understand what RV is saying totally too but yes I feel your pain...its like WHY MEEE??haha
EXACTLYYYY!!
Re: so Lonely
You know, most of my friends are married too. I guess we all have days when we wonder “where is he?”…right?
I have a theory. I think since human beings come in all shapes and sizes where you will never find two identical people…we also come with different paths, fates and stories. If we were to live our lives according to a formula, we’d all look the same too.
If your life doesnt take the same turn as everyone else’s…it doesnt make it a bad thing. Its your qismat and Allah swt wrote it.
Just do your best and trust Him…
Re: so Lonely
you should know that Allah is the best of planners :)
personal experience: back in 3rd year of med school all my best friends and my close friends' group either got engaged or married...and I was far far away from that :p I didn't mind being single but I did feel lonely when all our hangouts and nighters used to turn into a non stop talk about their SO, the in laws, the shopping - i felt so left out !
it turned even more irksome when I would have fellow acquaintances or some Aunties continuously telling me how I should get married soon too..and that it's high time ..all your friends are hooked up ..blah blah ...
Sabar and waiting for the right time is what counts ... now as it happens ...two of my friends' engagements got broken ...and they were devastated! and now within a year out of a group of 6 ...am the second one to get marrried ...HAPPILY Alhmadulllilah !
When the time is right IA you'd find the right person too ..don't rush it ...enjoy this time...shaadi k baad you'd miss this independence the most :D
Re: so Lonely
More so, when everyone in the extended started is already married, and when even the cousins younger than you are married, it starts bothering you more. But in my case, it is bothering my mom more than me :D I do believe that shadi is purely qismat based decision and it will not happen unless and until Allah Swt does not want it to happen. So my strategy is to just do your role of trying and leave the outcomes to Allah Swt. There is one punjabi shair:
Mali da kam pani dena bhar bhar mashkan paway
Malik da kam phal phul laona laway ya na laway
Translation:
The gardener's job is to water ( the garden)
Working hard day after day
It is God's job to make the fruit grow ( in the garden)
And it's up to God to decide to make the fruit grow or not
Re: so Lonely
Guys are generally aloof in such situations because of their capability to switch off their thoughts and the distractions they can afford (work, friends etc) but sometimes the situation affects them too.
In my case, I felt lonely too. All my friends got married an year ago. I am the oldest of them all and I felt merely a tag along for best part of last year. My life had stopped and I started feeling both stagnant and out of place. But gradually, I realized that this is how Allah swt has designed my life for me. And that I need to prioritize my life and then move on.
Point is, Allah must have plans for me too. and for anyone else out there who is in similar situation.
Re: so Lonely
Marriage doesn't cure loneliness. Yesterday I was thinking gosh I feel more lonely than ever.
Re: so Lonely
It’s actually worse for guys, I’ve heard people in Pakistan pointing at guys in their 30s and 40s saying, is key andar koi ‘nuqs’ (defect) hai joh shadi nahee karta! im not kidding 
Imagine what those guys would feel if they hear that.
Re: so Lonely
and i bet 90% of these folks who are getting married are going to be jealous of your freedom by the same time next year.
instead of moping, make use of your single time to do stuff you want to do but will have a hard time getting to once married and tied down with MILs, DILs, PILs, SILs, bachay, BILs, MILs, DILs...
Re: so Lonely
haha. I know man! Agreed!
Re: so Lonely
and i bet 90% of these folks who are getting married are going to be jealous of your freedom by the same time next year.
instead of moping, make use of your single time to do stuff you want to do but will have a hard time getting to once married and tied down with MILs, DILs, PILs, SILs, bachay, BILs, MILs, DILs...
queer, saby, road trip... hangover style!
Re: so Lonely
queer, saby, road trip... hangover style!
LoL!
Re: so Lonely
Gosh enjoy while it lasts!