Hey Stardust,
The intensity of the pain will Inshallah decrease with time. Right now, since the break-up was recent, it would be unreasonable for you or anyone to assume that you’ll get over things quickly.
You invested time and energy in this rishta. You had hopes and dreams for the future associated with this person. All of this can’t be turned off instantly like a light switch. It’s naturally going to take some time for you to heal…and you will.
It takes two people to make or break a relationship. You’re reminiscing about the “good times” that you shared with him. Those moments where you both were happy and got along and understood each other. But you know what??? Even in marriages that are severely dysfunctional or abusive…I bet the couple can definitely conjure up a few good memories with their partner where they both understood one another and everything was peaceful…IF ONLY FOR A WHILE. But…unfortunately the “negative moments” are greater than the good times. Unfortunately the FREQUENT harsh words and hurt feelings OUTWEIGH the few joyous moments. And that’s not a healthy relationship.
^ Sure you had good times. Most relationships (even the most toxic of them) have had a few good moments…but if you find yourself more often miserable/angry/frustrated than happy…then it’s better that you got out of it, Stardust. Things are this bad now…imagine how much worse they can get if you both had married…it would be harder to get out then…and unfortunately an exit such as a divorce carries dire consequences for desi women. What if children were in the picture? That complicates things further since there’s such a HUGE difference in mentality (traditional vs liberal).
Wish him well. Avoid contacting him so that it will become easier for you to move on. Don’t email him…don’t call him. Focus on yourself. Pursue a hobby or goal you were always interested in. Take a class. Go for a higher degree if possible. Get involved in volunteer work. Travel. Hang out with friends, work out. Try things you’ve always wanted to. Keep yourself busy with loved ones. Easier said than done, but try not to dwell on the break up too much. Everything happens for a reason. Have faith in Allah that He’ll take care of you. Pray regularly to find some peace and order in your life. Develop yourself confidence by focusing on yourself…get to know yourself and your needs…and that way, when the right rishta comes along…you’ll have the confidence and self-awareness to know whether or not its the one for you. Best wishes 