Reha! I am 100% agreed with you at this point. I also went through the thread created by nadz, I think if husband wants to live with his parents and his family (wife + kids) together under one roof then he doesn’t have to live separately. But he shouldn’t impose this responsibility on his wife to do khidmat of his parents at any cost, normally inlaws of girls make it a big issue that their bahu doesn’t do anything for them, even such complaints result in divorce/separation. It’s husband’s job to do balance the rights of his parents and wife.
If the wife feels that she would have been better if she lived in a separate home but husband doesn’t want this then still she always has the rights to keep her privacy in her own room. Noone in her inlaws has right to interfere in her activities or freedom that she has in her room. Her room is her own property. I read it in many books so in laws are not supposed to keep their eyes on her room.
Above all, I think husband and wife both are meant to take care of each others’ happiness this is how a peaceful life flows. A guy should give respect and help (if needed) the girls parents and a girl also should respect the guy’s parents just for the sake of Allah and ‘haqooq-ul-ibaad’. If you will think that they are your partner’s parents whom he/she loves alot then naturally you should also take care of his/her parents.
taking advantage of anyone’s favor always a disaster like if a wife does favor for her husband’s family then they are not supposed to think that they have right to take extra advantage of all of her favors they are supposed to ‘acknowledge’ her favors.