So he hit me.....advise now.

[qtchick]

Re: So he hit me…advise now.

@aras

Hey NadzI’m new on the forum and this post seemed very interesting to me. I went back and read your older posts to get somewhat of a background story. I can relate to you because I live in the US and my husband is from Pakistan. He has agreed to move here for now but always says he doesn’t want to stay here for long so that always brings some fear for me because I don’t want to move back to Pakistan. I have only had my nikkah yet and not ruksati but we have had several fights and differences over when to have the ruksati as he is also only a year older than me (i’m 25) and he’s still establishing himself. Being here and trying to organize functions there is not easy so I have tried to get him to compromise and help me out but its not happening because normally he is always nice but when it comes to stuff like this I feel that he leaves my side instantly and jumps on the opposing side. Its EXTREMELY hard to marry someone who lives in an entirely different culture and comes from a different background but please for the sake of your children you have to learn to be patient because not now but later this will affect your kids. I understand and hate it when people say girl always has to compromise but at the end of the day its the truth and would you rather be single and raise two kids or change yourself and have a father who loves them. I have lost my father to cancer and know that living without one is unbearable so please do not cause distances between you two and if anything think about your daughter and your child-to-be. You have to think from their perspective now that you are a mom and not your own because at the end of the day its their life that will get ruined.It seems that your husband is caring if not provoked. My husband is the same way. He will stay calm and not be mad unless I provoke him a lot. I think you have trouble admitting that you may be provoking him for a lot of his actions and that’s fine because admitting that is hard, I know I don’t want to admit it a lot and get very defensive too. But you need to admit it and try to stay calm instead of over-reacting. As much as you might hate to read this but women make or break a home. Men can act/say stupid things because it may be harder for them to control or think about what they might be saying or doing but YOU have the power to control yourself. You are smarter than that! Drive your strength from your daughter and the fact that you yourself stated how much he loves her. Whether he expresses it or not…he loves you a lot. So please try to occupy yourself in your surroundings and try not to let the in laws get to you. I hope things are still going well for you

after reading such issues of ladies here. . . I thank God a million times that I don’t have to marry a woman . They are mostly crazy brainless stubborn material.