My fiance and I finally got engaged last summer and inshallah we will be marrying in August. We have known each other since we were 16 and it took a while for parents to agree to our marriage. Alhumdulillah all is ok now and sab khush hai.
We have seen each other nearly every week or so since we were young. Sometimes everyday… Now we have stopped… And it is soooo hard. We want to make it special for our wedding and so we will be excited to see one another. But I haven’t heard his voice or seen him for a month now and I am soo udaas.
Are we doing the right thing? Should I carry on? How can I stop myself thinking bout him all the time…
Honey get on the phone and speak to him- yeh waqat wapas nehi aata-he must also be feeling the same.. whatever ur reasons to not speak with him u will be sahring your lives inshallah pretty soon- pik up the fone and say hello!!! ( BTW What a lovely prem kahani mashallah )!!!
But we realise how bad we have been from such a young age and want to make it better.. perhaps in the eyes of Allah or our parents who we were hurting for so long. This prem kahani has gone on for the last nine years... So we know each other inside out, its not a case of us needing this time to understand each other.. Its just we are trying to do the right thing. He does feel the same, his sisters tell me he doesn't shave or wear nice clothes anymore...
Oh my dear !!! Now I c... my dear what has happened has happened- its very good that u have both seen the errors of your past behaviours and alhamdolilah its excellent that hidaayat has been bestowed on u both- inshallah this bodes well in the future- remain firm in your action and inshallah yeh bi challenging time tal jae ga....if youre wanting to show your families and to each other that you recognise from past actions then remain forthright- inshallah Allah swt is the Almighy and ask for His forgiveness.. love and cherish the times with your respective families and I commend u for you honesty and integrity- inshallah sab teekh ho jai ga x
I'm glad you understand our reasons... but how can we make it easier and think of other things?
Can I just make clear we have always maintained boundaries, our time together is usually in my workplace, with his sisters or at cinema or restaurants etc. We have never gone beyond our limits as an unmarried couple..
My dear I got it the first time- my dear you re accountable only to yourself and Allah swt- fill ur time with other activities/family/hobbies/friends- remain positive and have a positive mental attitude to the whole issue- ur not doing anything wrong by still thinking of him and your lives togther inshallah- just be firm in your attitude and pray- reading Quraane Pak should give u immense sukoon and sabr- inshallah its only for a few months before youre togther as husband and wife!!!
We have started to send emails and chat online... which is nice.. Its exciting to come home from work and open up mail to see his email and I suppose he feels the same. I am spending too much time doing shaadi preps but again it reminds me of him... :(
I guess I'm being too sentimental... and mashallah one good thing that has come out of it is that we have both increased how much ibaadat we do. We always felt guilty before as we both knew we were going against islam by seeing and spending time with each other...
Awwww. Hugs to you. It’s hard when you’re sooo in love, but inshAllah he’ll be all yours in no time. So get busy busy busy for now
p.s. I like that you haven’t completed stopped contact, email and chat is good. Call him once in a while and see him too, nothing wrong with either of these things if not done excessively.
The wedding is in august so not too long left.. We may have to meet with families, when we go shopping etc. But we won't be alone so not the same thing... :(
In a way I feel better as I am not constantly lying to parens, who used to think I was always late home from work.. His parents were ok with us seeing each other but obviously we didn't rub it in their faces either. My family is more conservative, which is funny as Punjabi's tend to be more laid back than Awans.
