My question is for all the ladies here who had to move abroad after marriage. How did you cope with living so far away from family, not to mention the cultural shock in the initial days?
My rukhsati is in a few days and so far, I feel completely numb. But it would be quite reassuring to hear from those who moved far far away from home post-shaadi, and about the initial difficulties that one has to overcome while living in a new country…
Re: So far away...
My question is for all the ladies here who had to move abroad after marriage. How did you cope with living so far away from family, not to mention the cultural shock in the initial days?
My rukhsati is in a few days and so far, I feel completely numb. But it would be quite reassuring to hear from those who moved far far away from home post-shaadi, and about the initial difficulties that one has to overcome while living in a new country...
Adults need to be emotionally, psychologically, financially and physically be independent. Most people between a job and house work don't have time to miss anyone. I find that many girls from back home aren't that physically fit and the work load overwhelms them so if you don't exercise then please start as people also do a lot of physical activities here. If you drive that is great otherwise take his time to learn and know about traffic laws. It would also be a great thing to learn about the culture and custom and courtesy and manners. Emotional control is really important here ad we should practice resolving the biggest issues in a calm way. If you come prepared than you fit in fast .
Re: So far away...
I loved the idea of moving abroad. Try to make new friends once you get there otherwise it does get depressing. Check out masjids and their related events if you can.
Re: So far away...
After you pop bunch of kids, your life would become crazy lol
But anyways, you can start with learning how to drive, get a drivers license, start applying for job like Cashier or whatever job you can get because that is the way you can learn a lot about how things work in the your new country, you will make friends etc. If you are home sick you can always Skype with your family. Just don't sit at home and do daal chawal roti 24/7
I am not a lady btw but oh well answered anyway!
Re: So far away...
Don't consider it a culture shock. Think of it as an adventure. You're experiencing new, exciting things, something that you probably would not have imagined experiencing. And the best part is, you've got someone to share that adventure with! Things are going to be as difficult as you make them to be. Of course they're going to be different, but that doesn't mean you make those differences hard for yourself. Learn to be flexible, and work with what you're presented, instead of bemoaning what you're missing out on.
Eventually you'll go to visit the grocery stores, the shopping centres, find out where the salons and parlors are. You'll figure out a new routine, when you're living with new people in new places. Weather changes will marvel you, and then eventually it'll be the norm.
Like eastern said, visit the local mosque and other culture centres to make friends, if you're a social person. Your ILs and husband will already have a social circle, and if they're nice people, try to immerse yourself with them.
Most importantly, try to be independent as soon as possible. That means, get your driver's license as soon as you can. Look for the bus, train, subway schedule while you wait for your license, and learn how to use them. Don't rely on your husband to come home so he can take you grocery shopping, shopping for the house, and meeting people. Both of you will need your own time away from each other so you're not nagging each other.
As for living away from family, in this day and age when all devices have some form of free video calling software, it shouldn't be too hard to keep in touch with your family.
Re: So far away...
Thank you so much, all of you, for the wonderful advice :)