So confused!!!!

[rpetal]

Ok everyone, let me share this issue with you here, where i really hope to get some really good, sound advices and suggestions.

I met a guy through one of our common friends around 3 months before,as he was looking for a girl to get married. So, initially we started chatting with each other online, then through phone calls and text messages, and then we decided to meet each other in real, and we met after 2 weeks, in a shopping mall for 15-20 mins. So it all went well,and we kept on talking on phone and online, and after a few days, he told me he wanted to take it further,and he wanted me to talk to my parents and get him a date as of when his parents could visit them with the proposal.But i couldn’t talk to my parents as i was scared,and moreover i wasn’t sure of him,as i felt his interest getting declined after a month we knew each other.He wouldn’t call me like before,and if i did,sometimes he would talk properly,or sometimes he would give me reasons like,he is busy in work,busy eating,etc.If i text him,he wouldn’t reply back,saying he hates texting,and initially he did just to get to know each other.He stopped coming online,and even if he would be online,he would chat for a maximum of 10 mins,and would then give reasons and go offline. So, there was kind of no contact between us,and i was wondering why he was acting in such a way.It was like I had the lowest priority in his life.I questioned him regarding this,and it ended up in a big quarrel.He tried reasoning it.After that, I left him alone for a couple of days,and then i emailed him that,if he wanted to end everything.He replied back, saying, when i wasn’t there,he is now used to living without me,and that,he had peace of mind as there was no nagging,taunting,questioning,etc, and that he knows i was all okay without him as he saw me being on facebook, and he said he wanted to end everything.Initially i resisted,but when i accepted to break up with him,he kind of started saying he was kind of gone mad at how i sent him so many text messages and emails,and that he loves me.

Okay, so now, what should i do? Whether i hold on to him or let him go, it is hurting for me both the ways. If i hold on to him,his behaviour will keep on haunting me and giving me heartache, but whenever i think of letting him go, it hurts me even more, and I end up finding one reason or the other,and keep going back to him. What should i do? Please help.

[CM]

Re: So confused!!!!

The guy is edited nuts. Blow him off. You will be better for it.

[hanibal]

Re: So confused!!!!

help who, the guy or you? he obviously want to marry you, you backed out and he is not interested in just dating and flirting... so who needs help, one who is looking for serious relationship or one who just want to date???

[ShahreyarKhan]

Re: So confused!!!!

rpetal all this talk/text charm was just a thrill ride for him. and you were his prize. once you hooked up with him, the thrill was gone and thus the decline. its nothing new, im a guy and im saying this. most guys who fool around are looking for a thrill. once the girl agrees, show over, find a new adventure.

so no matter how hurtful it may be please throw him out of your life

my problem is that you girls let such guys play and manipulate you and get hurt in the end. its your fault you let him in the first place.

anyhow get rid of him and next time please be careful

[Mirch]

Re: So confused!!!!

Find someone else and you will soon forget him. You need some more growing up to do before you get into this relationship game. Also get your parents consent if you do not want to feel guilty and also if you do not want to get more heartache in case you like someone and your parents reject him.

[rpetal]

Re: So confused!!!!

rpetal all this talk/text charm was just a thrill ride for him. and you were his prize. once you hooked up with him, the thrill was gone and thus the decline. its nothing new, im a guy and im saying this. most guys who fool around are looking for a thrill. once the girl agrees, show over, find a new adventure.

so no matter how hurtful it may be please throw him out of your life

my problem is that you girls let such guys play and manipulate you and get hurt in the end. its your fault you let him in the first place.

anyhow get rid of him and next time please be careful

Hmmmm, that means, such guys keep doing this with many girls?

[TheNoodle]

Re: So confused!!!!

Ok everyone, let me share this issue with you here, where i really hope to get some really good, sound advices and suggestions.

I met a guy through one of our common friends around 3 months before,as he was looking for a girl to get married. So, initially we started chatting with each other online, then through phone calls and text messages, and then we decided to meet each other in real, and we met after 2 weeks, in a shopping mall for 15-20 mins. So it all went well,and we kept on talking on phone and online, and after a few days, he told me he wanted to take it further,and he wanted me to talk to my parents and get him a date as of when his parents could visit them with the proposal.But i couldn't talk to my parents as i was scared,and moreover i wasn't sure of him,as i felt his interest getting declined after a month we knew each other.He wouldn't call me like before,and if i did,sometimes he would talk properly,or sometimes he would give me reasons like,he is busy in work,busy eating,etc.If i text him,he wouldn't reply back,saying he hates texting,and initially he did just to get to know each other.He stopped coming online,and even if he would be online,he would chat for a maximum of 10 mins,and would then give reasons and go offline. So, there was kind of no contact between us,and i was wondering why he was acting in such a way.It was like I had the lowest priority in his life.I questioned him regarding this,and it ended up in a big quarrel.He tried reasoning it.After that, I left him alone for a couple of days,and then i emailed him that,if he wanted to end everything.He replied back, saying, when i wasn't there,he is now used to living without me,and that,he had peace of mind as there was no nagging,taunting,questioning,etc, and that he knows i was all okay without him as he saw me being on facebook, and he said he wanted to end everything.Initially i resisted,but when i accepted to break up with him,he kind of started saying he was kind of gone mad at how i sent him so many text messages and emails,and that he loves me.

Okay, so now, what should i do? Whether i hold on to him or let him go, it is hurting for me both the ways. If i hold on to him,his behaviour will keep on haunting me and giving me heartache, but whenever i think of letting him go, it hurts me even more, and I end up finding one reason or the other,and keep going back to him. What should i do? :( Please help.

Tl;dr. So you single now?

[STA]

Re: So confused!!!!

rpetal all this talk/text charm was just a thrill ride for him. and you were his prize. once you hooked up with him, the thrill was gone and thus the decline. its nothing new, im a guy and im saying this. most guys who fool around are looking for a thrill. once the girl agrees, show over, find a new adventure.

so no matter how hurtful it may be please throw him out of your life

my problem is that you girls let such guys play and manipulate you and get hurt in the end. its your fault you let him in the first place.

anyhow get rid of him and next time please be careful

SK, you are growing up day by day. good piece of advice. i like it.

[Reha]

Re: So confused!!!!

Walk away and don't look back...he is just looking for a cat and mouse game.

[Xtron]

Re: So confused!!!!

As a guy i tell you you are just a thrill ride for him. Lets see, only reason i wouldnt text or call is when i am no longer interested in her.

[Disney_Princess]

Re: So confused!!!!

Seems to me like he got bored. Not your fault, but that is some men for you and he is one of those 'some'.

Do you really think he will change after marriage? I don't think so. It will just become a larger mess after marriage, so if I was you, I would stop all contact with him and delete him from my life completely. I'm sure it's harder said than done, but you will be saving yourself from a bigger heartache later on in life.

[BlueBells]

Re: So confused!!!!

I'm sorry but it seems to me that neither of you were serious anyway. Why would you talk to a guy when you can't bring him up to your parents for marriage? You're better off ending this.. i.e if anything is left at this point.

[AmorAmor]

Re: So confused!!!!

You need to walk away from this guy for your own sanity. He sounds like he was just stringing you along.

You are worth more than this!

[soconfused]

Re: So confused!!!!

if you weren't ready to talk to your parents because you were "scared" why did you want to meet up and get so involved in the first place? According to your first line, you knew he was wanting to get married. He probably got frustrated and figured you were just using him as a way to pass time.

[ShahreyarKhan]

Re: So confused!!!!

yes!!

Hmmmm, that means, such guys keep doing this with many girls?

either that or you are just beginning to know me (which is btw ...nvm) lol

SK, you are growing up day by day. good piece of advice. i like it.

[Amoureux_de_la_vie]

Re: So confused!!!!

Ok everyone, let me share this issue with you here, where i really hope to get some really good, sound advices and suggestions.

I met a guy through one of our common friends around 3 months before,as he was looking for a girl to get married. So, initially we started chatting with each other online, then through phone calls and text messages, and then we decided to meet each other in real, and we met after 2 weeks, in a shopping mall for 15-20 mins. So it all went well,and we kept on talking on phone and online, and after a few days, he told me he wanted to take it further,and he wanted me to talk to my parents and get him a date as of when his parents could visit them with the proposal.But i couldn't talk to my parents as i was scared,and moreover i wasn't sure of him,as i felt his interest getting declined after a month we knew each other.He wouldn't call me like before,and if i did,sometimes he would talk properly,or sometimes he would give me reasons like,he is busy in work,busy eating,etc.If i text him,he wouldn't reply back,saying he hates texting,and initially he did just to get to know each other.He stopped coming online,and even if he would be online,he would chat for a maximum of 10 mins,and would then give reasons and go offline. So, there was kind of no contact between us,and i was wondering why he was acting in such a way.It was like I had the lowest priority in his life.I questioned him regarding this,and it ended up in a big quarrel.He tried reasoning it.After that, I left him alone for a couple of days,and then i emailed him that,if he wanted to end everything.He replied back, saying, when i wasn't there,he is now used to living without me,and that,he had peace of mind as there was no nagging,taunting,questioning,etc, and that he knows i was all okay without him as he saw me being on facebook, and he said he wanted to end everything.Initially i resisted,but when i accepted to break up with him,he kind of started saying he was kind of gone mad at how i sent him so many text messages and emails,and that he loves me.

Okay, so now, what should i do? Whether i hold on to him or let him go, it is hurting for me both the ways. If i hold on to him,his behaviour will keep on haunting me and giving me heartache, but whenever i think of letting him go, it hurts me even more, and I end up finding one reason or the other,and keep going back to him. What should i do? :( Please help.

You know how it is and would be with each option. I would suggest you bite the bullet now and feel the pain of 1 month's worth of a relationship and save yourself a bitter marriage or worse, a divorce. All the best!

[Amoureux_de_la_vie]

Re: So confused!!!!

my problem is that you girls let such guys play and manipulate you and get hurt in the end. *its your fault you let him in the first place. *

anyhow get rid of him and next time please be careful

Blaming the victim are we?

I understand taking responsibility and not letting others treat you a certain way, but the girl here is doing the right things (if she ends it).

[ADQUSIT]

Re: So confused!!!!

Ok everyone, let me share this issue with you here, where i really hope to get some really good, sound advices and suggestions.

I met a guy through one of our common friends around 3 months before,as he was looking for a girl to get married. So, initially we started chatting with each other online, then through phone calls and text messages, and then we decided to meet each other in real, and we met after 2 weeks, in a shopping mall for 15-20 mins. So it all went well,and we kept on talking on phone and online, and after a few days, he told me he wanted to take it further,and he wanted me to talk to my parents and get him a date as of when his parents could visit them with the proposal.But i couldn't talk to my parents as i was scared,and moreover i wasn't sure of him,as i felt his interest getting declined after a month we knew each other.He wouldn't call me like before,and if i did,sometimes he would talk properly,or sometimes he would give me reasons like,he is busy in work,busy eating,etc.If i text him,he wouldn't reply back,saying he hates texting,and initially he did just to get to know each other.He stopped coming online,and even if he would be online,he would chat for a maximum of 10 mins,and would then give reasons and go offline. So, there was kind of no contact between us,and i was wondering why he was acting in such a way.It was like I had the lowest priority in his life.I questioned him regarding this,and it ended up in a big quarrel.He tried reasoning it.After that, I left him alone for a couple of days,and then i emailed him that,if he wanted to end everything.He replied back, saying, when i wasn't there,he is now used to living without me,and that,he had peace of mind as there was no nagging,taunting,questioning,etc, and that he knows i was all okay without him as he saw me being on facebook, and he said he wanted to end everything.Initially i resisted,but when i accepted to break up with him,he kind of started saying he was kind of gone mad at how i sent him so many text messages and emails,and that he loves me.

Okay, so now, what should i do? Whether i hold on to him or let him go, it is hurting for me both the ways. If i hold on to him,his behaviour will keep on haunting me and giving me heartache, but whenever i think of letting him go, it hurts me even more, and I end up finding one reason or the other,and keep going back to him. What should i do? :( Please help.

Keep your hand on your heart and think thoroughly about your relation, your time, which you've spent with him, and then answer a simple question first (that What do you really want)? Do you want to be with him for the rest of your life?
Or Do you want to quit him?

[ShahreyarKhan]

Re: So confused!!!!

you are driving carelessly and hit the tree, should i blame you or the tree?

you let the guy feel he has a chance
you let the guy come close to you
you let the guy manipulate you

and you say i shouldnt blame you, are you kidding me?

dont say you are dumb enough to not know what he was up to ...

ofc the girl is doing the right thing NOW if she is ending it with him

Blaming the victim are we?

I understand taking responsibility and not letting others treat you a certain way, but the girl here is doing the right things (if she ends it).

[FairysAngel]

Re: So confused!!!!

rpetal! if you wanna leave a peaceful life than stay away from him.