SMS Shaeri

rkopra · July 23, 2007, 12:28am

1
door se
lambay balon wali
laal kurta safed salwar
pehnay larki dekhi
teri yaad aayi

AQ · July 23, 2007, 1:18am

Re: SMS Shaeri

yeh aap kee shaairi hai?

laal kurta, safed shalwaar aur kaalaY baaloN maiN tau woh laRki Peoples Party Pakistan kaa jhanda lug rahi ho gee agar thoRaa saa green duppaTaa bhee oRhaa daiN ussaY

Iss forum kaY saath mazaaq naa kiya kijiye kopra saahab!

rkopra · July 23, 2007, 12:53pm

Re: SMS Shaeri

Anwaar Qureshi Saahab ji,

Hum nay bahut seriousness se SMS shaaeri ki pehli verse likhi thee. Koee mazaak-waak ki baat nahin ki thee. Lakin aap ko ye mazzaq kyon lagga?

SMS neyi kism ki shaaer hai. ghazal va nzam nahin hai. Japanese Haiku, Renga, Senryu jaisi hai. kya aap ko un k baaray main kuch patta hai?

aap nay PPP aur green dupattay ki baat ki hai. kya yeh mazaak nahin hai? agar aap kahen to is ko bhi kisi stanza main daal saktay hain. Jaisay:

tera laal kurta
safed shalwar
haraa dupatta
haath main PPP ka jhunda
tu kya aurat hai
sherni hai
azaad ruu ki hai
mard to bhaithay-bhaithay
hukka peetay rehtay hain
aur tu azaad huee
aasmaan main
urti phirti ho
meray dil ki koyal ho
bulbul ho
(kabhi faaKHtah bhi ho).

faaKHtah/qumri–>dove?

Note: Amal Sahaab Ji, agar aap ko yeh thread achcha nahin lag raha , to mehrbaani kar k is ko delete kar dain. main yahaan kisi ka mazaak nahin karna chahta, lakin neyi kism ki urdu ki poetry zaroor likhna chahta hoon. Shukriya.

rkopra · July 23, 2007, 4:13pm

Re: SMS Shaeri

2
*laakhon baar chaha
tu na maani

mur ke dekha

tum chchupay-chchupay
mujhay dekh rahi thee*

Saqi_the_angel · July 23, 2007, 5:33pm

Re: SMS Shaeri

sachi???

AQ · July 23, 2007, 5:45pm

Re: SMS Shaeri

haaN bhai! Parveen Shakir saY muttaa’ssir lagtaY ho :halo:

rkopra · July 23, 2007, 6:17pm

Re: SMS Shaeri

haan ji
bilkul sachi hai
ye baat shaeri ki

rkopra · July 23, 2007, 6:27pm

Re: SMS Shaeri

Anwaar Qureshi Sahaab,
kahaan aap muqaabalay
karnay baithay hain humaray
Parveen Shakir ke saath?

Parveen ko Parveen hi rehnay do
kuch hamari bhi nazmain parho
shuroo main badi ajeeb lagain gi
lakin dheeray dheeray
duniya kay jazbaaton ki
awaazain aayen gi.

Thanks for stopping by. Main koee mazaak nahin karta!

rkopra · July 23, 2007, 6:31pm

Re: SMS Shaeri

3
*jis kisi say milti ho,
kehti phirti ho -
main tujhay chahti hoon.

kaisi larki ho?*

AQ · July 23, 2007, 6:42pm

Re: SMS Shaeri

yeh aap kaisee kaisee laRkiouN saY raabtaY rakhtaY haiN?

rkopra · July 23, 2007, 6:43pm

Re: SMS Shaeri

4
*apni jheeb dikhati ho.
badi pyaari lagti ho.

jab saheliion se
meri baatain karti ho,
to kyon muskrati ho?*

rkopra · July 23, 2007, 6:46pm

Re: SMS Shaeri

*aap doosray logon ki
mazaak ki shikayatain kartay hain.

lakin mazaak karnay main
khud baaz nahin aatay hain!*

AQ · July 23, 2007, 7:00pm

Re: SMS Shaeri

iss ko kehtaY haiN meraY hamdam meraY dost
kaY jaisee rooh, waisaY farishtaY

goyaa kaY yooN kahiye
jaisaa des, waisa bhes

rkopra · July 23, 2007, 7:22pm

Re: SMS Shaeri

*wo mazaak karnay main itnay laggay hain,
widesi kapdon ka kuch nahin jaantay hain.

apni hi hansi hansi main
apna mazaak kara partay hain!*

AQ · July 24, 2007, 1:54am

Re: SMS Shaeri

mujhaY afsos hai bhai maiN mazeed aap kaa saath daY kar iss forum kaa standard naheeN giraa saktaa :)

rkopra · July 24, 2007, 12:44pm

Re: SMS Shaeri

*jab mohabbat ki ghazlain
aur nazmain hi aati hon,
duniya k kalaam to
kuch bhi na aatay hon,
to kyon idhar udhar
dakhal dainay
baith jaana?

jab apnay ghar main
aag laggi ho,
to kyon bhaag kar bahar
shaher ki aag bujaana?

jab apna ghar kooain main ho,
to kyon sagar ki baatain
karnay baith jaana?

jab jazbaat sirf
kehnay hi aatay hon,
ton kyon unko
dikhlanay ki kosish karna?

jazbaat dil to dekh hi laita hai!
shaeri ka standard tab kam ho jaata hai!
baday logon k bada afsos ho jaata hai!*

uzma_dxb · July 25, 2007, 5:13am

Re: SMS Shaeri

lolz