So my mom is staying with us for the summer and so far so good (fingers crossed that it stays that way!!)
One thing though…its so hard to slow myself down for her. She lives down south where life is much slower than it is in new yawk and going even to the grocery store is an outing for her. For me, the grocery store is a task, one that I get done quickly. I get my list, go only to the aisles that have the things I need then I check out and go home.
With mom though…she likes to browse every aisle, look at every little thing, compare unit pricing, read labels on new products. ack. I do my very best to slow myself down, take a deep breath and deal with it, trying not to look at the time (I have 3 boys going to 3 different summer programs all at different times). And the other people in the store get annoyed with my mom, they’re all in a hurry too like I usually am and my mom blocks aisles, gets in the way and doesnt realize it. We also end up with a cartload of stuff when all I needed to get was 3 or 4 things.
ack. So I’ve been doing my very best to take a deep breath and not get impatient and I’ve also been doing my very best to have everything in that we’ll need at least for a good number of days. But…mom always thinks of something or other that we need to get lol!!
Ok, so my venting is done…patience is a virtue. And I will keep on striving to be virtuous!!
I know exactly what you mean Mama. I grew up with a mom who couldn't stand us being 'pokey', so I feel like I've lived at warp speed my whole life. Being with my husband has been an adjustment and has taught me a lot because he's very into 'vegging' and watching the world go by when he has down time. And his mom is physically disabled and can't walk much, but also loves to be taken out (who doesn't?), so I'm gradually getting used to enjoying shopping, etc., at her much, much slower pace.
loved how you said new yawk...I wish my mom would come visit me here. Maybe you can just remind her nicely that you guys are in a hurry. That probably doesn't help though.
Summer is almost over right...
how abt u tell ur mom "mom just stay here n i'll grab n few things n meet u right here"
this is wat i do. if my hubby gets stuck in one aisle i leave him with the cart, run to nearby aisles n pick stuff i need n add them to the cart. so if he picks one or two things i pick 5-6.
^^^ Yeah.. can’t you leave her to have a look while you go get your stuff? Or does she insist on you waiting until she’s finished? If thats the case, I don’t know whether you can do anything about it.. not helpful I know But heres something for being so patient. You’ll be rewarded for it sometime during your life, InshAllah
Well … the world is becoming a rat race in every way .. We can see the occasional slowing down as an opportunity to relax perhaps?
I feel , that all year round I have the same routine and when a guest from Pakistan comes , I suddenly feel like I have been brought back to life , you know. Its frustrating in the beginning , coz I am so timed out all day long on responsibilities , but then I realize when was the last time I actually enjoyed driving? or shopping? or eating out? and the answer creeps me out
so in a way its good that we get individuals in our life who are slower then us , indirectly they just helping us relax
sorry offtopic but how does your mom deal with your hubby? any racial tensions? just asking since IMO older whites are much more nasty racists as compared to the younger gen.
^ I think that stereotype holds true for the poorly educated elders of any generation.
It is tough to slow down. We have the same problem when guests from Pakistan come - we both work and the kids are involved in several activities, so we are not used to slowing down. As someone else suggested, why don't you let your mom browse while you shop - that is what I do with my MIL.
We normally don't go for grocerry un prepared any more. So go only when u hav a full list of wat u need Asap n wat u'll need in a week or two n buy in bulk. this saves extra trips to store every week or so. it also keeps u from buying unnecessary stuff every time u hit the store.
first...boi, my mom deals very nicely with my hubby. Yes, she is gori and of an older generation and was initially very concerned. But as in many of these cases, it was one of those "to know him is to love him" type of things. She loves what a good husband and father he is and knows how very blessed I am to have him in my life, her only concern is that he might want my boyz (her grandsons) to go visit pak where things are not so good, not so safe and surely this is understandable.
To the rest...yup I always have my list of things I need and I do tend to let mom browse around the store while I gather those things on my list, And I do try to give her as much time as she wants but heck man, this woman could spend an entire afternoon in a groery store and not get thru half the aisles lol....so I get the things I need and let her browse around until it gets to the point where I GOTTA go and then I tell her ok, we gotta go now.
It actually WOULD be beneficial to me if I could slow myself down to her pace a bit. But I just cant do it. My eyes are always on the clock and really I have about 90 minutes between each drop-off or pick up during the day. So...I just gotta deal with it and do my best to keep everyone happy and everyone picked up and dropped off.
Can you drop off your mom and tell her to call you once she knows shes headed to checkout? This is if you have other activities you need to get done in the meantime.
But heres something 
for being so patient. You’ll be rewarded for it sometime during your life, InshAllah 
.. We can see the occasional slowing down as an opportunity to relax perhaps?