so I am absent the first day of class due to death in the family. Come back and the professor has assigned a project. We could pair up (or do it solo) and since the clique I am usually in was paired with each other and well established with their paper well on their way and all I felt it wasn’t cool to jump in not contribute and take credit. so i talk to another girl in class occasionally and decided to ask her. turns out shes already paired too but hasn’t started the paper, teacher allows triads so i merged myself into their group just for convenience as a solo it would be a huge project
the other person in triad(not the girl i usually talk to) is a over achiever. we divied up the parts into three sections (2 responsibilities per person). i did my part person b did her and overachiever did his. overachiever edits the paper cool, person b is responsible for another part works on that. i do my part. overachiever edits our section and work one on one with other person to get her part done, edits mine, doesn’t like one of my parts has to do it himself cause its below standard but uses ideas as backdrop. now i wasn’t able to meet up with them but kept contact in emailmet the deadlines, i think they thought that wasn’t colloborative of me since i couldn’t be with them face to face as if i was only concerned with my part and being inconsiderate to the group dynamic.
my understanding was that as long as i do my part i’m ok. anyways paper gets compiled by overachiever, but for some reason i am the one the took the blow overachiever wants me to review the paper and i was sooo focused on my presentation board that that anxiety kind of came across as i can’t and didn’t even finish to say at least not right now, person b also says i can’t, but for some reason it ticked overachiever off more that i couldn’t review it. and i hear them talking wow can’t believe shes not going to review the paper. but person b and I both said no so why is it more of a big deal that i can’t do this. another girl walks by and says aren’t u guys in the same group samina join ur group. uh excuse me, ur not in my group? apparently i had been talked about outside of my immediate group as slacker?
i heard these things didn’t say anything finsihed my board and said here let me review pointed out 2-3 minor errors changed them. but overall got a feeling that i would have been 10x better had i gone solo i by no means wanted them to feel i was a burden. i told them later that i know i had errors in my paper (both person b and I did which overachiever corrected), and i am not the best writer but this is a good paper i can’t edit it anymore…Regretful event of my life.
do i have a right to feel guilty? am i a slacker? did I merge into a group that was probably more annoyed by me than helped? can’t help but feel going solo was the way to go. Feel really really worthless.