Sisters in law

Lifestyle Relationships
1

In the spirit of Ramadan I am trying to work on my relationships…namely with my in-laws.
How do I get along with my sister in laws (one my husband’s sister and the other my husband’s bhabhi) who both are very close and have a lot in common and can sometimes be a bit snide with me?

2

Re: Sisters in law

patience patience patience...everytime they are nasty...remind urself...that they dont hate you, they are not out to get you...they just issues that cause them to behave that way...but you dont so you dont need to be nasty,

everytime they are nasty thank allah for giving you such a nand and jeythani/devraani thank Him because you could have had worse

3

Re: Sisters in law

Ignore the snide remarks, they'll give-up sooner or later.

4

Re: Sisters in law

Gifts ;) lol it can do wonders, specially for khawateen!!!!!! get them a jora each (from JJ or sana safeenaz, whatever fits your budget)

5

Re: Sisters in law

Yes a gift is a best revenge in a situation like this. Invite them for iftaar , one at a time and then give them some fancy gift, make sure the gift is suitable to their age and taste.

6

Re: Sisters in law

Try and find something you have in common with them.....or go out, just the three of you for fun nights...movie or a dinner, things you would do with your friends.

7

Re: Sisters in law

come in their dream at night and scare the hell out of them…brand.ishing a shiny doubled edged butcher knife! :cb:**

[disclaimer: please don’t try it at home! ;)]**

8

Re: Sisters in law

Be the bigger person....try not to make snide remarks. If one of them...or...both of them for that matter feel "threatened" or insecure about you.....then I think being friendly is more likely to help ease those feelings whereas a negative attitude might confirm their opinions.

You don't have to bend over backwards or suck up to them. Be sincere in your actions.....even a genuine compliment or a kind/thoughtful gesture can sometimes go a long way. But also keep in mind that you can't "make" someone like you and there's a possibility that they might never be crazy about you. If you don't live with them, the distance makes it easier to maintain a civil relationship, so don't get too worked up over it. If your marriage is going great (regardless of how the in-laws feel about you)....I think that's what matters most and you don't need to earn everyone's stamp of approval.

9

Re: Sisters in law

wat the heck? why would you spend your (or husbands) hard earned money on someone whos snide with yoU?! :konfused:

10

Re: Sisters in law

Meh…it’s his hard-earned money…and not yours. S’all good. :hehe:

11

Re: Sisters in law

So is this Islamic justification for giving lots and lots of jahez to inlaws....to make sure the daughter is treated "well" :p

Yeah....no. that only works if the relationship is respectful and decent to begin with; it doesn't work when there's negativity on one end.

how many times we hear about women complaining..."I did so much for so and so and gave them this and that, and this is how they treat me"? That's why.....because we're advised to spend our money and energy and time on "winning" people over who ultimately don't change their feelings towards us.

and FYI, I used to spend alot of money on giving gifts but in the end it didn't matter...because those friendships ended or it didn't soften anyone up to anybody.

12

Re: Sisters in law

^Islam does not recognize that practice....let alone justify it. That's more of a "cultural" thing....and culture and religion are not always on the same page...they're not always one and the same. But what you will find in Islam is the giving of Haq Mehr, where it's the guy's side that gives to the girl (it can be money, gifts, propert, etc) and is a part of the marriage process.......how do you view that?

I dn't support the idea of bending over backwards to win someone's stamp of approval. But I do believe in making the effort to get along....and gifts CAN develop affection...though it's not a guarantee. I don't think it's necessarily "winning".....but I do know that people can have insecurities or misunderstanding about you...and they can sometimes be calmed if you try to be friendly....doesn't necessarily mean that you're trying to win them over. If you've tried to get along....and you see that the other person just doesn't respect you....then you move on and try to keep things civil at best.

13

Re: Sisters in law

you are a woman hater too :nahi:

14

Re: Sisters in law

just don't think about them.

15

Re: Sisters in law

be the better person and let things go sometimes...eventually they will get tired because it makes no difference on you.

16

Re: Sisters in law

Obviously you don't watch Star Plus, else you'd know all about how to act the good mazloom bahu who eventually wins everyone's hearts.

17

Re: Sisters in law

Give both of them Jewlry...

....a copy of "Bahishti Zewar".

18

Re: Sisters in law

these materialistic things will keep them happy for just a very short time until they turn again...

19

Re: Sisters in law

I don't think I'd ever willingly watch Star Plus, no matter how bad things get! ;)
But thanks everyone for your suggestions, I've decided to go with the gifts idea, and also to try and socialise with them. I think both of them are so different to me and my mindset that it has been difficult- I can't really deal with *****y remarks so just been trying to ignore them!
Hopefully these things get easier with time!