Are you serious? I think it's the other way round. Married men (especially muslim men... infact majority of muslim men) are not only attracted to single women but they also try everything they can to get the single women's attention. In my opinion, the reason for this (apart from the other reasons I do not know) is that they think there is 'nothing wrong' in taking interest in other single women inspite of being married because 'ISLAM' allows them to have 4 wives at a time. Some of them can go to any extent to have the woman they are attracted to, in their lives even if they're not looking at it Islamically (4 marriages).
IMO, non-muslim men are serious in their commitment. Muslim men on the other hand, take their wives for granted. That everything is permissible because they're men!
I agree with the first part that men try to attract such women but I donot agree that its because isam allows them....he thing is using Islam to justify their own perverted things is not at all justifiable.Basically for suuch men ..religion is all about "what suits them".
Less then 1 percent of the muslims practice the 4 marraige thing and it is something that gets the most attention from others. The prerequisites have to be met for them to try to justify their action.
in Quran where it is mentioned that they are allowed to have another wife IF they can be JUST O All of thm.In the next line it is written That it is very hard to be just...it is with those men that the last line is conveniently ignored. So please do your research before jumping to conclusions about Islam.
My comment was not about Islam but about muslim perverted men as you referred in your post. Those muslim perverts who conveniently have side affairs other than having a wife at home. And by the way, this is the case mostly with arab muslim men.
I agree with the first part that men try to attract such women but I donot agree that its because isam allows them....he thing is using Islam to justify their own perverted things is not at all justifiable.Basically for suuch men ..religion is all about "what suits them".
Less then 1 percent of the muslims practice the 4 marraige thing and it is something that gets the most attention from others. The prerequisites have to be met for them to try to justify their action.
in Quran where it is mentioned that they are allowed to have another wife IF they can be JUST O All of thm.In the next line it is written That it is very hard to be just...it is with those men that the last line is conveniently ignored. So please do your research before jumping to conclusions about Islam.
My comment was not about Islam but about muslim perverted men as you referred in your post. Those muslim perverts who conveniently have side affairs other than having a wife at home. And by the way, this is the case mostly with arab muslim men.
Okay but it appeared that you were generalizing them all.
What I explained is the fact that sch people take religion"as whatever suits them" rather then what it actually is. that in itself is n awful thing
I don't know why people act as if things like these do not happen or show how they are oblivious to it all, it is SO COMMON! It's disgusting to even hear how so and so had an affair with his single colleague and left his wife/kids for her. And I just wonder what kind of morals these women have who do not hesitate even a bit. Fine, even if a married man is hitting on you or whatever, why exactly do you have to encourage him? As for the men, why even bother getting married when you're so gross, shallow and utterly useless to your wife?
As for that Ambassador guy, what world do you live in that you think non desi men don't have extra marital affairs? Do you not watch tv, do you not read the papers, do you not notice what goes around you? Why are the divorce rates so high in the U.S.. you think that's because the wife can't cook or something? No, most of these people cannot be satisfied with their spouse and go around having affairs that eventually destroys their marriage.
In my opinion, the reason for this (apart from the other reasons I do not know) is that they think there is 'nothing wrong' in taking interest in other single women inspite of being married because 'ISLAM' allows them to have 4 wives at a time. Some of them can go to any extent to have the woman they are attracted to, in their lives even if they're not looking at it Islamically (4 marriages).
Were you even thinking when you posted this reply?
I am assuming you are a girl? It amazes me how quickly girls jump to say "..........because men are allowed to have 4 wives". Not many bother to do some research to find out under what circumstances and due to what reasons that is allowed. It's not all about sex. Once they have more than 1 wife, they are required to treat them fairly and equally. In this day and age, no matter how God fearing you are, it is very difficult to treat 2 or more wives equally in all required aspects. It's even not permitted for men to keep their wives under one roof. So unless a man can provide 4 houses to his 4 wives and treat them equally financially and by giving his time to them, he is NOT ALLOWED to marry more than one wife no matter how bad his hormones act.
That's a different story that some that practice polygamy do not pay attention to these rules and thus are committing sins and will have to answer for their deeds. And besides, before Islam, men had as many as 50 wives during the age of ignorance and Islam prevailed and put a cap on the number of wives one could have, again, due to circumstances and very good reasons. I would strongly recommend that you read more about this issue.
Now please excuse me while I continue my search for my remaining 3 wives.
riya........... i would discuss just one aspect of yr post
Why in the world do some women only feel attracted to married guys and must must must have em no matter what? .
i've noticed that in general ( not referring to any religion or culture) " such"single women prefers mature married men ( age unspecified but starts from around 30) over other younger + single men, may be b/c mature men r usually stable ( personally + financially) ,successful and have achieved a lot what comparatively younger men r still striving hard for , and it's a fact that most women not just want a man/husband with smart brains & kind heart but also financial security , so such men r kindda full package to fulfil their lusts ........... regardless married or not these women easily fall for them .
i won't discuss with respect to married man or woman falling for other guys( younger or older , married or unmarried) as for me there's nothing more sickening than that .
I can understand why a woman might feel attracted to the married man: because he’s stable, he’s “safe” and he must have a charming personality..else why did he get married
Was this on Z100? :aq:
Riya… If we can put alot of hte blame on the single girl for being with a married man, then it’s only fair to say that men are animals who act only upon lust and have no brains or morals…right? as much as i want to curse out the girls too, amjority of hte blame should go to the married party..not the single one.
Are you serious? I think it's the other way round. Married men (especially muslim men... infact majority of muslim men) are not only attracted to single women but they also try everything they can to get the single women's attention.
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Majority of Muslim men? I dont know what statistics you think you are basing this on or what kind of "Muslim men" you know, but I think this is a huge exageration
many women and men dont allow this kind of relationship. & ideally they must not. the issue could be that both are vulnerable in many ways. but it is up to both to make sure that a simple normal hello hi does not turn into anything like a relationship.
an ethical good man (married) and an ethical good woman (single), will stop each other from being linked this way with each other.
at no time, should the woman or the man be involved in ways that disregard their obligation to the sanctity of the marriage of the married man.
in fact, if the man is really unhappy in his marriage and does have a liking for someone else, then he should be fair and take a step which will respect both his wife's will and decisions and the respect for the woman he has begun liking.
the decision is to be mutual by three people in an order that the wife takes precedence, then the mans as the husband, followed by the woman whom the now unmarried man may request to consider his proposal. if divorce is a possibility from before and has nothing to do with the woman, that is purely Allah swt's decision. even if bothdo duly harbor a feeling for liking for each other, the sooner the better for them to say so, so that no one is second guessed or guessing.
clarity fo feelings is honesty too.
and once a person is able to own up to own conscience, then it becomes easy to make ethical decisions.
sara516, what you said is absolutely right - a stable, safe and charming man could very well be a married man. but the sad thing could be that the burden is on the single woman whom he befriends, let's suppose, and now she has to work as honestly as she can to her Allah swt, and encourage him to go back to his wife to make their marriage stronger and filled with content.
regardless to wateva is being said here! i will reiterate my personal experience:
1, single men going for married women
2, single women going for married men
1, I have been doing extensive travelling and have come across all sorts of nationalities, based on that my thesis goes as is: 80% of married women MAKE THEMSELVES ATTRACTIVE to bachelor boys so they can have those lovey dovey dialouges, jazbaati poetry and first-love relationship again in their lives which they think have become boring after 5 to 10 years and after having children! A sensible women will never ever take that toll to get involved with someone else especially based on our religion and cultural aspect point of view, of our society. My neighbour friend a paki aunti tried to get involved with a single guy aged 24 to 26, whereas she herself was 45 something. her house electricity was not there, so she came and sat at my house (villa) for a couple of hours… im not at all kidding, the moment that electrician came in she started showing all those girlie thingys.. uffff its was damn disgusting!!! since it was evening so my husband came n he went to their house to see if the problem was bad… he was shocked to see (since the door was open, so he walked in) the lady was rubbing her hand on that guys leg!!! (since there was nobody in the house at that time) that should be more than enough to say! i was strictly told by my hubby not to see her face ever again!
2, there are times in a young girls life where she becomes excited about having relationships n stuff! therefore she bounds herself to certain category of men, where aged, mature and well off comes as an description!!! many of our dramas as well have been based upon this subject! i have come across certain couple of girls while i was doing my graduation that the respect for their professors or uncle in relations become love at the last stage! i have seen girls wildly acting in that response when they are told, this is wrong what ur doing, as ur aiming for something which is not urs!! n those girls have been acting really weird at times… when they get to know they cant have em’ they go for more married men!!!
its just a psycological aspect of life which effects females more then males!!
Were you even thinking when you posted this reply?
I am assuming you are a girl? It amazes me how quickly girls jump to say "..........because men are allowed to have 4 wives". Not many bother to do some research to find out under what circumstances and due to what reasons that is allowed. It's not all about sex. Once they have more than 1 wife, they are required to treat them fairly and equally. In this day and age, no matter how God fearing you are, it is very difficult to treat 2 or more wives equally in all required aspects. It's even not permitted for men to keep their wives under one roof. So unless a man can provide 4 houses to his 4 wives and treat them equally financially and by giving his time to them, he is NOT ALLOWED to marry more than one wife no matter how bad his hormones act.
That's a different story that some that practice polygamy do not pay attention to these rules and thus are committing sins and will have to answer for their deeds. And besides, before Islam, men had as many as 50 wives during the age of ignorance and Islam prevailed and put a cap on the number of wives one could have, again, due to circumstances and very good reasons. I would strongly recommend that you read more about this issue.
Now please excuse me while I continue my search for my remaining 3 wives.
Yes, I am a male, as stated in my profile. And yes, you sound like a girl, that's why I was assuming that you are girl.......Even if you are a guy, you need to not generalize and learn some details and fine print about men and multiple marriages.
if you know such a person you ppl should help them!!!
And should not daemonize them.
Women who lose their father in childhood are always attracted to much older men.
Same goes for guys.
It could be deep embedded in there psychology.
(since there was nobody in the house at that time) that should be more than enough to say! i was strictly told by my hubby not to see her face ever again!