Out of curiosity, for those of you who do want your mom's involved, why is it:
- You're keeping all of your options open
Yeah I'm keeping my options open.
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- You don't feel comfortable/confident around girls so you don't know how to initiate the relationship
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Don't know if it's this or that going up to a girl and saying 'hi' just ain't normal over here in Karachi, except for when you're in college/university and I'm no longer in college. Yeah you could meet someone at work, but that still doesn't open you up to a lot of options.
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- You want someone who knows you better than you know yourself in charge of the rishta process
- You want someone older, wiser, and experienced with marriage in charge of the rishta process
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Nah! I think I know myself pretty well. I'd be the ones giving her the general outline of what I'm looking for in a girl.
PS: Some of you might disagree on my perception of the social norms of Karachi, but that might have something to do with everyone of us coming from different socio-economic groups.
Oooh, I want to add a question to this - how many of your mommies would be perfectly fine with you meeting a girl and deciding to marry her, and then you either telling mommy: "Can you call so-and-so aunty and ask her for her daughter's rishta for me?" or "Mom, this is the girl I want to marry, the wedding is on the following date, yaad karkay aap bhi aajaana?"
I've known situations where a guy telling his family "I met the one, I'd like to marry her." is rebuffed by the parents. In a recent case not only did the mom say hell no, she forced her son to marry a girl from back home, who he ended up divorcing in a matter of months and then the mom went and asked for the rishta of the girl she had said hell no to.
I've seen cases where some parents hate the loss of control in the selection process of their DIL, as opposed to disliking the girl for who she is.
P.S. Didn't want to derail the thread or take it on a different tangent, but I think the questions I ask have to considered by guys when they figure out whether they want to go down the arranged versus getting to know on their own route.
I am from lahore, Pakistan and my parents actually want me to go out and look myself. They have refused to look for a girl for me and say that I should try on my own first. Same case with almost all my friends. Their parents have also told them that if they like someone, they would be okay with it. Times are changing and I dont think your observations holds true anymore
Oooh, I want to add a question to this - how many of your mommies would be perfectly fine with you meeting a girl and deciding to marry her, and then you either telling mommy: "Can you call so-and-so aunty and ask her for her daughter's rishta for me?" or "Mom, this is the girl I want to marry, the wedding is on the following date, yaad karkay aap bhi aajaana?"
Knowing my mom..it's all cool with her. She even told me to introduce a girl to her if i am interested in her. So yes i can even say..ask so and so aunty to ask her daughter's hand. No problem at all..
OK CM Bhai Sahib, firstly you may want to have more positive attitude towards selecting your future partner, and not refer to all those who are already happily married as having “Ball and Chain”
if you keep this negative air around then you have undenaibly sealed your own fate!
so let us start with a clean slate, and be positive in your search for the one lucky Girl that wil happily****.give up her freedom for you!****…
