Computers may considered male because..
You have to turn them on to get their attention.
They have lot of data but are still clueless.
They are supposed to help you solve problems but they mostly are one.
As soon as you commit to one, you realise that if you had waited, you could have had a better model.
Computers may be considered female because..
No one but the creator understands their internal logic.
Native language they use to communicate with others of their kind in incomprehensible.
Even your smallest mistakes are stored in their memory for later.
As soon as you commit to one, you find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.
Great One-Liners
God is real, unless declared integer
Everyone should have a spouse, because there are a number of things that go wrong that one can't blame on the government.
Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?
Home is where the television is.
The evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.
Death is hereditary.
There are three sides to every argument: your side,my side and the right side.
An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.
Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Experience is what a comb gives you after you lose your hair.
Well done is better than well said.
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.
They say hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncoming train.
Where there's a will there are five hundred relatives.
Love thy neighbour, but be sure her husband is away.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
LUCK...stands for Labouring Under Correct Knowledge
New World Explanations…
* Money is not everything, There's Mastercard & Visa.
* One should love animals, They are so tasty.
* Love everybody, Love every body.
* Save water, Shower with your friend.
* Love thy neighbor, But don't get caught.
* Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
* Every woman should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
* A successful man is one who can earn more than his wife spends. A Successful woman is one who can find such a man.
* Wise never marry, and when they marry they become otherwise.
* Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
* Never put off the work till tomorrow,what you can put off today.
* The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
* Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump & spill your drink.
* You're twisted, perverted, and sick. I like that in a person.
* Join the army! Travel to exotic, distant lands. Meet exciting, unusual people and kill them.
* If at first you don't succeed , Sky diving is not for you.
:k: