Sikh friend who divorced his wife - an explanation..

Lifestyle Relationships
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After reading a lot and seeing different view points I stumbled upon my friend again on g-chat (gmail) and asked him why he left her for her past. I’m going to quote what he said down below,

“When you have children, you will tell them not to smoke because it’s bad for them even though you’ve done it before in the past. I looked at this marriage in the same way, just because it’s her past doesn’t mean it’s okay and we should accept it and move on with it. I don’t want a women who didn’t give it up to me because that’s how I want it to be. I made my mistakes but I would prevent it from happening again and share the same knowledge with my children and would also want my wife to be clean. Just because I’ve had history doesn’t mean it’s okay for me to have a wife with the same problem. What if I didn’t have a history? Will that justify this entire thing? I don’t know but a lot of people are saying I made a stupid choice but when you’re the victim, you’ll contradict what you’re saying because that’s how human nature works. It’s like saying you’ll never kill somebody and next thing you know you’re in a situation that gives you no choice but do the exact opposite.”

He doesn’t seem to nudge at all at the fact that he left his wife because of her past. I said you should’ve given her another chance and he said, “I just can’t accept this Adil, you wouldn’t either.”

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Re: Sikh friend who divorced his wife - an explanation..

Dude, why r u opening a new thread, u shud have posted in the previous one.

How long should you date?
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Re: Sikh friend who divorced his wife - an explanation..

I don't know I'm stupid. I guess because many wouldn't know it's in the middle some where.

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Re: Sikh friend who divorced his wife - an explanation..

^ lol..you're not stupid. i would have done the same thing. anyway, a lot of people, including me, think that he should have given his wife another chance but i know it can be difficult to keep your head straight when you're in the situation. it's different then, you can't control your emotions sometimes. the only part you think of is "he/she is not pure". in a way i feel he did the right thing, because if HE'S not okay with it, then he would have lived a troubled life..being miserable himself and making his wife miserable too. if he can't get over it (which he should) it's better to just leave her than live with thought, and look down upon her forever.

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Re: Sikh friend who divorced his wife - an explanation..

ROCK, I'm sorry, but your friend sounds like a jackass. Karma is a bi*ch and one day he will find himself in a situation where his present is judged by his past and he will understand how terrible that can be. Our religion teaches us to forgive, no matter what the situation, to forgive is better, but whatever, I can't say I wouldn't react EXACTLY the same way if I were him.

Newbie
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I completely agree...basically the guy is saying...Its fine that I made my mistakes and learnt from them but is not extending the same benefit of the doubt to another human being

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:k:

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Re: Sikh friend who divorced his wife - an explanation..

man that dude has hypocrite written all over him! i mean its ok for him to have that sort of history because he is a man? wtf man!

next time you bump into him on gtalk tell him that he needs to really sit and think about his own actions and consider how his exwife choose to ignore all that crap and still be with him... what if the tables were turned and she had found out about his past first?

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Re: Sikh friend who divorced his wife - an explanation..

^true..this is a really difficult situation :bummer:

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Re: Sikh friend who divorced his wife - an explanation..

good for his EX!

Ur mood ?
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Re: Sikh friend who divorced his wife - an explanation..

she's better off without living with such a hypocritical pig any way.

just wondering, if they had kids then what? would he still divorce her? have doubts bout his own children?

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Long Live Male Chauvinism:dhimpak:

OK that was a saracsm :chai:

It's Unfair...........
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Re: Sikh friend who divorced his wife - an explanation..

Maybe she chose to "ignore" his past....coz she had one herself........? Anyone think of that.?

Dil baimaan!!!!!

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^ so wahts ur point?...if she ignored it so should have he..

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Re: Sikh friend who divorced his wife - an explanation..

Just because he has a past and he told his wife about it doesn;t make him any better than her. Maybe she knew what sort of a fragile ego this friend of yours had so she decided not to tell him to start with. His action has got nothing to do with the reason he is giving, its all about his ego. He had an injured ego and the only way to feel better and get even was to divorce the woman who brought this 'shame' to him, so thats what he did.

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Re: Sikh friend who divorced his wife - an explanation..

^ All this on the assumption she has DONE IT. He just saw a pic of her in provocative pose rite? No other concerete proof was there?

Although I beleive in Karma, i doubt he will feel it fully in this world (it is still male dominated world). All hopes lies with God. I wonder what HE will do to make Justice in this situation?

Cand You Find The Pair of Hidden Shoes
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NO, the other guy discussed some of her body marks (scars or soemthing) with the hubby, that can only be known if she is seen naked.

To be honest, I think Rockistan is just making up this story. No one discuss there sexual affairs by discusing body marks of there lovers.

I can understand figure and what not, but not body marks

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Re: Sikh friend who divorced his wife - an explanation..

Without any remarks to his race, I would say that this is the most poorly stitched argument of all times. Actually the cigarette example is hands down the worst I have read in ages, it doesn’t make any sense but then again it has to make sense to him more then to me. I have heard better arguments and examples but at the end of the day its really about how you deal with it. I have been in a similar situation so I can certainly relate to him but its not that big of a deal but it is a disease that eats you up. The more you think about it, the worst it gets. Cure is to make peace by accepting the reality and by not finding fault in your partner but giving them a chance.

The Story Is About,
1. Epic of hypocrisy
“I have done it and I want to be accepted but I’m not going to accept someone like me”
2. Male egoism and the bad decisions it leads us to make
“Had he accepted her, she would have worshiped him for the rest of her life. Its important to be the last man in the woman’s life and not just Mr. 2.5 Minutes Man.”
3. Lack of Values
“He was told the truth and in a relationship that’s going to last a lifetime, it is important to be honest than live a lie.”
4. Difference between “BOY” and “MAN”
“The art of being a MAN is to accept the reality and deal with things. BOYS on the other hand only know how to avoid a situation or runaway from it and even hide, that’s exactly what he did.”
5. Not understanding the big question
“There is more to life then all this, you just have to look for it. The more you think about these things, the more they’ll eat you out but the moment you start thinking about the wonderful future you can have, it all changes.”

What The F**** Moments,
***Why didn’t he ask before marrying her if it was so important to him or was he just thinking of getting laid??
Where was his conscious when he was signing the divorce papers after having her for a few nights??

The New Wife Scenarios,
***What if his new wife is bitter about his past and decides to avenge him by fooling around behind his back??
What if his new wife is dishonest and did everything that the previous one did but only opts out to tell him??
What if his new wife is not satisfied by his performance and decides to cheat on him??
What if his new wife wants to try out someone else since she never been with anyone??

The Question That Evolves,
I invite everyone to read this story and draw their conclusions. Isn’t it important to be honest in a life long relationships then be simply accepted?
>>>Virginity Repair

Few Quotes For This Situation,
*“You Can’t Handle The Truth” --The Normal Tom Cruise

“As You Sow So Shall You Reap” --Holy Books All Around The World

“A man wants to be the first in woman’s life, where as the woman wants him to be the last” --Universal Truth

“Every Saint Has a Past, and Every Sinner Has a Future” --Oscar Wilde

" I went to find evil in others,
I found there no evil;
When I saw in my heart,
I was the biggest devil " --Sufi Poet Kabir*

Becoming a makeup artist (home based)