And let’s take some responsibility for this also. Masjids (some, not all) in the US can be claustrophobic. They aren’t respectful to women (we need a website highlighting pics of how small space or no space is given to women to pray and how they have to walk thru nastiness or dark stairwells to get to their prayer space).
Attendees within masjids drive other muslims away with their judgemental behavior. Posting on social media with judgemental ideas also drives people away.
Muslims who aren’t welcomed in the community and arent treated with respect, will walk away from the faith at some point. Not all of us, I’ve definitely been mistreated in masjids. But I still read the Quran still have faith, etc. But I can tell you I know a lot of people who are just fed up with the aunty-culture at masjids and at cultural gatherings that they would rather not spend their free time engaging in those activities with their community.
So instead, they hang out with non-muslims. Which can work two ways. If your company is non-muslim, but clean and good, then fine. But if they encourage you to go to clubs with them, try alcohol, try messing around with the opposite sex, try drugs, try marijuana to “relax”, etc, then all this becomes a part of your culture, and you slowly move away from your spirituality because your spare time is being used in listening to loud music/using mind altering substances/engaging in mind altering acts. Sorry, at that point, you’re very far from the meditation to God.
Has nothing to do with jadoo. Really. Let’s grow up and take responsibility for our communities. Next time you see a small kid at the masjid, be sweet to them. Welcome them. Make them feel at home. You see a teen that smiles at you and looks awkward, sitting with their mom/dad, knows no one there, talk to them. Develop mentorship at the masjid you go to. Become involved. Reach out to muslims. We used to reach out to muslims on our college/grad school campuses, even if they were not religious. I made it a point to reach out to girls that I can see people would normally hiss upon - girls who wore sleeveless, tight jeans, skirts, etc. I was just reading commentary on the facebook video posted by Nauman Ali Khan towards the JJ scandal, and I raised the point that does Veena get this opportunity for justice, and you will not believe the number of women (not men actually) that came forth hissing at how she is not muslim and she is a dirty girl and deserves no forgiveness.
Except I recall that prior to the scandal on the Shaista show, she had gotten married, and had started to turn more towards Islam. I recall pics of her where she was wearing a dupatta and talking more about Islam and her interest in it.
So why are we chasing these people away?
I will give you a story. When I started college, my first year, I rebelled a little. Because FINALLY I was getting away from the tight control my parents had me in.
I wore sleeveless, I had cut my hair to a boycut. I focused a lot on my make-up and hair.
I continued to read namaz, interestingly thru this time, I was pretty strict about doing the 5x/day prayers. Yes, despite wearing sleeveless.
A muslim group on campus - the local MSA type group - some people who were just normal regular people started talking to me. Not about Islam. They didn’t call me filthy. They didn’t even gossip about me. They wanted to get to know me and they wanted to talk to me, and found me interesting and smart.
They became my best buddies, and I’m still in touch with them, and they saved me from progressing down the wrong road. My friends in my first year were non-muslims, I was staying away from the hijabi/beard group, because I didn’t want to hear the criticism.
Then I mellow’d out. My hair grew back out, I got rid of the sleeveless tanks and spaghetti strap tops, and wore proper shirts when going to class. Even went down the road of wearing kameez on jeans, looking like a hippie.
There were other moments where I slipped into drinking alcohol, and each time it was a muslim friend who watched me and said, why are you doing this to yourself? Stay away from it, and keep to your namaz, and your mind will be healthy.
It was the community aspect of my muslim friends - that they welcomed me - that has partially helped in keeping me muslim.
Other friends of mine are no longer muslim, and it’s because they were subjected to masjid events and desi dawats where they were
- ignored
- made fun of for being different
- gossiped about that maybe they’re gay (they’re not actually)
- no one wanting to marry them
- girls telling my friends that they need to wear a hijab.
You do crap like that, yes you will drive people away. You can blame it on Jadoo, but it’s not jadoo. It’s us. We are judgemental and we mistreat each other and we drive each other away from Islam.