my mom has been sick forever.. she’s always sick… one problem doesnt get cured she gets another… how do u handle someone like that… i hate the fact taht she isnt the young mom anymore.. she isnt even old.. what… 47? thats not old… yesterday i was dusting and she calls me to the kitchen.. tells me to get a pot outta the cabinet… i was …
mom.. just pull it out.. its right there…
beta.. i cant bend
… oh .. ok…
chano… pick the daal plz… i cant see
i mean.. little things like that… i know i should be more caring and understanding… and i am… but how do u learn to live with the fact that ure mom.. the superwoman.. isnt .. well.. superwoman anymore… she was always up and about… did so many things at the same time… and now she cleans a plate and its “pull out the medicine box”… im gettin so agitated and irritated and all other ated’s… at my mom’s sickness ..its like the whole house depends on me now… and i dont like it … the whole day its “chano do this” “chano do that” … i dont mind housework.. but arghhhhh… to know that ure fighting an uphill battle…
p.s) how come there isnt an “agitated chano” smiley?
You mom is going through a mid life crisis. 47 is a young age. Well its old for 20 year olds but the hill that I am at it aint that far. You should help your mother go out for walks, engage her in other outside activities, be it social events . Tell her she is still young. Have her engage in charitable causes or even mentoring other women/childern.
There are so many outlets/ causes that one can spend their time on and and not only benefit but provide benefit to others.
Remember to tell her she is young, give her a glass of GlaxoD and take her out.
Hope it all works out for you.
Intrusive question- what exactly is wrong with your mother? Perhaps she needs to go to the doctor and get a full assessment.
Do you have any other siblings that can take some of the stress of the housework etc off you, can you share responsibility for the cooking cleaning, ie one can cook and the other washes up.
What you need is organisation.
dont blame your mother, I doubt she is doing this to get out of work.
You will need to speak to your parents because it seems like the stress of it all is getting to you, and it may be you that will the next one to suffer illness as a consequence. The longer and the more your parents rely on you the harder it is going to be for you to turn around and say Thats enough, I cant cope anymore!
Your mom may be suffering from depression, or may be going through menopause, and is really struggling with it. My mother-in-law went through this, and though doctors in Pakistan gave her dozens of pills, when we took her to the doctors here, they found nothing physically wrong except that she was menopausal, and suggested that she get out more. It is very easy to become burned out when constantly caring for a family if that is the only thing you ever do.
Verizon had some very good ideas - she needs to get out and socialize regularly with friends her own age, take walks, and possibly find a hobby or something that she enjoys doing.
You should also find something to do away from home from time to time. It is essential that the primary carer of someone who is ill take regular breaks and have outside interests and activities. When your entire life revolves around taking care of your mom and going to school or work, that isn't emotionally or physically healthy for you, either.
By BB
" That's strange as I suffer opposit, my Mom dosen't allow me to do thing and even she is sick she prefers to do everything by herself.
I tried to tell her that you have been carying me and feeding me for last 17 years but she still does not listen to me and not even let me make tea for myself. I was realy ashamed when I went to one of my friends and made a horrible tea.
I really want to help her but she says that as long as I am with her I should not do anything "
And you thought all the talk about being 'kind to your parents' was for the supermom?
Bibi, it is part of getting older. Wait for the day when in your busy schedule you will come sit with her for a few minutes and all she will talk about will be her pains. The other day my mother who is in her mid-60s talked for about 30 minutes on what she ate at a party and why and then what side effects she had from it on her blood pressure, sugar and heart burn.
Patience is an acquired virtue and old parents are great teachers of it.
Try and be patient with everyone, do what you have to for your mum, dont run around everyone else, there is only so much that one person can do.
I know what it feels like, my mum has been ill for 3 months and I get sick of doing everything, I dont mind helping her, after all she is my mum and she has made me who I am today! But there is so much that needs to be done for everyone else and this annoys me, there is only so much I can do and then I just start crying when I cant cope with all the work and my mum feels so sorry for me.
Try and help out your mum as much as you can after all this is your farz, but let everyone else look after themselves.
thanks for all the help guyz… ive usually handled it pretty well…
shall remain patient :halo: just gotta think bout her keepin me in her belly.. and labour and nurturing.. etc etc…
i guess im really getting it more than anyone else in teh family cuz my mom is very close to me (and im also the oldest daughter)…she tells me everything.. and lately it has all been bout which body part hurts at the moment.. hehe… im the kind that doesnt show emotion and cant handle it when other ppl show it .. my mom is the complete opp… she makes sure other ppl know everything she is feeling.. love.. joy.. sadness.. happiness… i guess she’s normal .. ha
Hey well “jannat is at the feet of your mother”. So, if you plan on going to heaven, you might want to just keep on helping out. I get so fed up when my mom overloads me with stuff to do, and I usually try to keep my mouth shut.
Maybe this is her way of getting you trained for married life :D (j/k)
Chano dear maybe she hasn't told you but i'm sure she probably appreciates every little thing you do for her!! maybe you need to have your sister and brothers help out a little assign jobs so you are not stressed out... i guess alot of it has to do with the fact that your the oldest... but take her to the doctors and see what exactly is it that makes her feel so week all the time. Does she take any vitamins.??? All the best :)
yeah i agree with sadzzz, it might be just that. she needs more company of women around her age to socialize. Do force her to have a complete checkup at your family doctor. Being the oldest, i know how you feel. just stick to it because i know she appreciates it even if she doesnt show it.and yeah spread out simpler tasks to the younger brothers and sisters.
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lol @ the first post …“agitated chano smiley” 