Ever since I first converted to Islam I felt that one day when I had my own family I would like to incorporate the concept of ‘shura’ into our life. Not only is it a fundamental concept in Islam but I thought it would really help my children build their cooperation and leadership skills and help strengthen the relationship between parents and children by promoting open discussion. Has anyone here tried implementing some sort of formal shura meeting in their family? I would love to hear more from those who have tried this and how it works in your family.
I'm not exactly sure what shura means...
But in my family, my dad is the angel of our house. So every night, after maghrib, my dad would read from this book in Urdu - i think it is called "the Ways of Muhammad (s). He would interject occasionally to explain to us what this urdu word meant or that or elaborate on an important point.
I learned so much from it, and am grateful everyday for this. I learned about how I should be like and how Muhammad (s) and his family lived, and the companions...and how we should strive to be like them. I learned about Hell and it's punishments, Heaven and it's bounties, how important duas are, to the little things like how eating on the ground is sunnah, cleaniliness, miswak, the technicals of wudu, etc.
After we finished the book, we started the book all over again--every day after maghrib- 30 minutes. My dad would say we don't need a library of Islamic books- just struggle to master one and you'll be fine. Make one good book your domain, your Islamic reference book, and stick to it and actually live it....
But it was never limited to this. When we're in the car, my dad tells us stories from the Quran of Nuh (a), Ibrahim (a), all the other prophets (which ends always with a lesson), why we pray...or if we had a question or a fear he would answer us readily, quoting the an Ayah of a Quran or a hadith
For example one time I asked my dad in the car, what if we can't be good, and are always committing sins...and my dad replied, "then we should hang out and love the people who commit the least amount of sins-- Muhammad (s) said that we will be summoned on the day of judgemnt with the people we love. "
Or when we're returning home from Juma, my dad would comment on the khutbah, and reiterate important points (That was such good point the Imam brought up today....) or the Imam said someting that wasn't exactly right (what he said that is not accurate, Muhammad (s) said in such and such hadith...Or the Quran says...)
As my older brother got older and went to college, he learned that there are viewpoints, and my dad, being human, didn't always have the correct viewpoint about everything Islam- and there would be a lively discussion. But this discussion happened only when we became a certain age...my younger brothers who are still in their teens, are encouraged to *listen *more then comment on what they think about a certain issue.
Re: Shura for the family?
^ see that's perfect.
if the kids listen. If they are hte type who just dont want to listen, or rather listen to ipods (or walkman in my day), then nothing parents can do (short of beating it into them i guess) can make them learn if they dont want to?
Re: Shura for the family?
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I'm not exactly sure what shura means...
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Shura is like mutual consulation....like for the family to make decisions together, after taking everyone's opinions (vs one person just deciding everything themselves always)
NYCGhori I think its great that you want to have this in your family. My father was very big on it too, and I hope when I have kids inshallah we will also have this in our family. The key is to always keep the lines of communication open and to always listen to what everyone has to say with respect and an open mind, so you consider their viewpoints even though you may not agree with it always. Its so important, especially these days, for the children to have a close, trusting, open relationship with their parents, so they know they can discuss any matter with them. Having a solid shura system in the family really can help acheive that, as the children will feel like their parents actually value them as human beings and are not just like dictators trying to ruin their life or something. And it can help the children in many ways as well, to make wise decisions inshallah
Re: Shura for the family?
Islam or no Islam, I think parents should consult with their kids, I think it helps the kids develop logic and the ability to present their arguments in a productive way.
We know a family that has 2 boys, one is college age, one is high school age, and as far back as I can remember, the parents always involved the kids in the decision making process, I think that that is a great practice, we hope to do the same with our monkey.
Re: Shura for the family?
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would like to incorporate the concept of 'shura' into our life. Not only is it a fundamental concept in Islam but I thought it would really help my children build their cooperation and leadership skills and help strengthen the relationship between parents and children
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sister the concept of shura was first instituted by sayyidna umar to help solve the problem of election of a rightly guided caliph .....by itself its not islamic as it was not used to elect all rashidun caliphs only one...yet consultation was used [even without the formal use of shura] to elect all 4
this is not a concept that can be applied to domestic setting ...kids shud be consulted by husband & wife thats great ] but u cannot call this a "shura" as this is misleading...
what u are saying can simply be called consultation u dont have to use the word shura to islamicize it