what do women feel? Is it more practical for husband to be in control? or shud they be equal in every decision making process?
Re: Shud Husbands be dominant?
and whats your original nick?
^ Lol.
what do women feel? Is it more practical for husband to be in control? or shud they be equal in every decision making process?
What does "equal" mean when it comes to the decision-making process? That's a tough one because some issues require an "either THIS or THAT" decision. So.........if husband's decision is the one being executed in an issue.......does that mean the whole process wasn't equal?
I guess the word would be "fair." A marriage involves two people right? If one partner makes a decision..........it would obviously effect the other partner as well wouldn't it? In a marriage, your decisions are not just "your decisions." They will impact everyone else too. So, it's only "fair" that both parties talk about their views and try to reach a compromise. You lose some you gain some....you bargain some.
Also depends upon individual personality. Some people are more passive and prefer to take a back seat and let others lead. The husband is the head of the household. Okay fine. But even the leader of any group........has to interact in a positive way with other group members to get anything accomplished. Imposing things on the other members has the potential to lead to chaos and ultimate breakdown of the group.
And what about those situations where the husband or "head of the family" has no sense of responsibility and maturity??? I've seen situations (yes, desi families) where the husband can't get his act together........won't get a job.......spends most of his time doing drugs..................and the WIFE is the one who finds herself in a leadership role and is the one who is supporting her family. In such a situation................should the husband be the "dominant" one simply because he's a male?
"Dominant" could mean the individual is either dominant in a positive way or negative way. Does the husband have "leadership qualities"? And among these qualities is the ability to listen patiently and compromise with others.
Re: Shud Husbands be dominant?
marriage is not about who gets how much more power, but how BOTH people can work together. yes i’m not married and yes I will give better advice than the punks that are married:snooty:
Re: Shud Husbands be dominant?
I think overall yes, but not in everything. There should be consultation, that's how team work can be successful.
Re: Shud Husbands be dominant?
hahaha this is my only nick....ders a reason y im askin dis question but i will start another thread on dat issue. Yea redvelvet i agree with you 100%.
Re: Shud Husbands be dominant?
Agree with RV, I don't think there should be any hard and fast rule about it..
depends- if there's a big difference (like if guy is quiet girl is loud) then the dominant one will be dominant regardless. The problem arises when they guy and girl are equally dominant.
I think it's usually easier to let the husband be the dominant personality if he wants to. I know i'm going to get bashing from feminists, but seriously, there are gender differences and maybe a man is more sensitive to one thing while a woman is more sensitive to another. Sometimes it's just better to keep in line (not completely obviously) with gender roles. How many of you women out there put on hand/face lotion consistently? How many men do? to some extent women generally care more about appearance than men. If a woman sees herself as unattractive, she might feel inferior. Similarly, i think men can value their authority more than women, and if they feel they lack control, they might feel inferior and it will create some resentment in the relationship. they might feel less of a man if they aren't leading, while women might not care that much. Just like women can feel less feminine if they feel unattractive. Some men are secure and don't feel threatened, more power to them.
By all means you shouldn't be the meek and submissive one and emotionally abused, but if it;s important for him to drive the care, then just enjoy the ride!
depends- if there's a big difference (like if guy is quiet girl is loud) then the dominant one will be dominant regardless. The problem arises when they guy and girl are equally dominant.
^Yup! Dominant and Dominant can be a recipe for disaster.
Interestingly, I've noticed (a few times) that women who have very strong/dominant personalities are married to men who are more passive. And vice versa. And if I happen to know the person with a very LOUD in-your-face-my-way-or-the highway domineering personality......I think, "You're lucky that you married someone who is more calm and laid-back. Because pairing you up with someone just as headstrong would not last too long."
Similarly, I also feel that there is a difference between being quiet and being a doormat. It's one thing to compromise and be the bigger person and to let things slide........but nobody should allow themselves to become a doormat.
Also, the partner who does tend to have the stronger role........should not take undue advantage of it. For example, even the president or king of a nation, in spite of his/her lofty position over the common folk...............will lose the respect of the people real fast if he/she misuses their authority or can't make decisions that show good judgment.
Another thing is that a couple might be "dominant" in various aspects of the marriage. For example, a husband might be in charge of financial matters. And the wife might be in more in charge of dealing with issues regarding children. If both parents work........they might work together on the issue of expenses. So many variations.
Re: Shud Husbands be dominant?
Should I kick you?
Re: Shud Husbands be dominant?
Husband should be the full authority if he is ready to assume the full responsibility also
Re: Shud Husbands be dominant?
Yeah, like the responsibility of taking his bruised behind to the hospital for emergency operation after being kicked by the wife.
Re: Shud Husbands be dominant?
We'll be saved from a lot of issues if we consider marriage as a union rather than a competition.
Re: Shud Husbands be dominant?
Newton baba said ,"Like poles repel each other whereas unlike poles attract"! Ek naram to doosra garam chalega, dono garam khopdi ke rahe to ho gaya kalyan!!!
Both the parties should be allowed to have their say but not always, it's good to keep your egos at bay and let the other person take the first step but that doens't mean you become a cat and keep meow-ing to whatever s/he says! Mostly mutual decisions work better than the ones solely taken..
Re: Shud Husbands be dominant?
being dominant in any relationship does not work.
It only makes one feel inferior and "less" of a person. There is no respect in it.
So it's better to respect each others opinions rather than being dominant one.
what do women feel? Is it more practical for husband to be in control? or shud they be equal in every decision making process?
lol
equaaal!! in a perfect world
Well said :k:
Yeah, like the responsibility of taking his bruised behind to the hospital for emergency operation after being kicked by the wife.
Promoting domestic violence is a 10 point infarction on GS ...:p
Re: Shud Husbands be dominant?
Women only get points when they upset another woman.
Humari koi value naheen. :(