i have a five year old daughter and sometimes i just feel so guilty that i don’t hug her and kiss her enough. I don’t know how its become like this. When she was a baby ofcourse i did these things naturally. i think it has a lot to do with my upbringing: my parents didn’t really show us affection in that way, but i don’t want to pass this lack of affection on to my daughter.
Re: Showing affection to your children
Unfortunately, for whatever reasons, my parents also never showed their affection by hugging and kissing us. This is more of a reason for me to hug and kiss my daughters. I know that every kid wants that from his/her parents.
I suggest that you work on yourself but please do not deprive your kids of your affection. They need it like they need air to breath.
Re: Showing affection to your children
we kids need hugs. :(
Re: Showing affection to your children
Sara 
Ajuba, now is the time to give your kids some warmth. When I hug my daughter, she says she can feel the love in my heart and that makes me cry. It makes a child secure, not to say that a parent’s care or love is demonstrated by just physical affection but this does play a big role.
Re: Showing affection to your children
but its true.
if i'd been hugged mroe as a child maybe i wouldn't be so cold and unfriendly. :(
Re: Showing affection to your children
Ajuba, you need to change yourself. Affection makes kids feel safe and secure. Physical gestures like hugs and kisses can make all the difference in the world. I don't know why some people go as far as saying giving affection to boys is simply wrong cause it makes them a wuss. They believe that it will toughen them up if they are not shown love. Really messed up thinking .... I would suggest you search online for the long-term affects of being unaffectionate towards you kids and the damage it can do to their self-esteem in the long run.
Re: Showing affection to your children
I remember once I left home in an absolute hurry and said bye to the kids as I flew down the stairs.
Two flights down, I heard my little one call me "Ami ami" and I was feeling annoyed at having to go back up.
When I reached the door I asked a bit irritated "What is it?"
she said " you forgot to give me a hug"
Ohhhh that really broke my heart and made me see straight.
Whenever I hug my kids, I find its kind of out of habit. Never realised until that moment how important it is to them.
Re: Showing affection to your children
Sahih Bukhari
*Volume 8, Book 73, Number 26: *
Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle kissed Al-Hasan bin Ali while Al-Aqra' bin Habis At-Tamim was sitting beside him. Al-Aqra said, "I have ten children and I have never kissed anyone of them," Allah's Apostle cast a look at him and said, "Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully."
*Volume 8, Book 73, Number 27: *
[INDENT]
Narrated 'Aisha:
A bedouin came to the Prophet and said, "You (people) kiss the boys! We don't kiss them." The Prophet said, "I cannot put mercy in your heart after Allah has taken it away from it."
[/INDENT]
I think making the conscious decision to stop hugging or kissing your kids b/c they're getting older is wrong. But I think it's only natural that kids wean off these affectionate gestures as they get older. I think sometimes keeping them becomes automatic and not as genuine, although there's nothing wrong with that either. I feel like i have a good balance- our family is not all hugs every second, so it makes the random scattered times we do more special.
Re: Showing affection to your children
thanks to my husband..i have never shown more affection to my kids than now and work on it everyday.....most important.