A class fellow of my cousin proposed to her. She confided in me regarding it. The issue is she says she is the least bit attracted to him. Even though his nature is very sweet and character is very decent, she is not attracted to his looks. When she was telling me, she described him as some one not very tall, pretty fat, had a lot of acne, not very properly dressed.
For people who like some one’s character but are not at all attracted to their looks, should they go forward with it? Do looks play as much of an important role with the basics of character in place?
–YOUR VIEWS?–
Re: Should you marry some1 you are not ATTRACTED to?
I don't think its a good idea to marry someone you are not attracted to. Note that its about being attracted to. He/She does not necessarily have to be gorgeous its just that you MUST find them attractive.
No point in marrying someone you're not attracted to and then spending a long time oogling at other people you can't marry but find attractive. Your spouse SHOULD attract you !!
A class fellow of my cousin proposed to her. She confided in me regarding it. The issue is she says she is the least bit attracted to him. Even though his nature is very sweet and character is very decent, she is not attracted to his looks. When she was telling me, she described him as some one not very tall, pretty fat, had a lot of acne, not very properly dressed.
For people who like some one's character but are not at all attracted to their looks, should they go forward with it? Do looks play as much of an important role with the basics of character in place?
--YOUR VIEWS?--
I don't think its a good idea to marry someone you are not attracted to. Note that its about being attracted to. He/She does not necessarily have to be gorgeous its just that you MUST find them attractive.
No point in marrying someone you're not attracted to and then spending a long time oogling at other people you can't marry but find attractive. Your spouse SHOULD attract you !!
Re: Should you marry some1 you are not ATTRACTED to?
^ I dunno, I think you should find your own spouse to be attractive. Temptations will always be there, but if you have a spouse you love and find attractive, no need to worry about straying.
Re: Should you marry some1 you are not ATTRACTED to?
There should be something which attracts her to him. Sometimes, the more you get to know a person and the closer you get, the more attractive they become to you. Maybe not to the rest of the world but to you.
I think she should sit down and see the pros-cons of this union, if the pros outweigh the cons then there is no need to get too bogged down by his looks. Looks fade, personality and their character remain.
Re: Should you marry some1 you are not ATTRACTED to?
have u ever seen any movie after the scene of "lived happily ever after"
come on its so boring living happily ever after
if she wants to live a life full of drama and adventure and fun and gossip and bla bla bla, she should marry the guy who ever he is and then "make sure to keep folks at the life forum updated" :D
Re: Should you marry some1 you are not ATTRACTED to?
i feel she shldnt...i agree wid snowy_winter dere r times i see the pritiest gurl in love wid the weirdest looking guy...thts sumthing attracyted her towards him his looks,his personality..waeva it mayb tht something was enough for her to take the next step widout being confused.If u confused now dunt do it cuz 10yrs down the line shell feel nothing fr him while temptations wld b everywhere.wen i started dating i was FAT n my guy was really famous n rich in his area n community with gurl all arnd him...i never understood wat made him fall fr me ...i still dont but waeva it is it has kept us together for almost 10yrs now MASHALLAH
Re: Should you marry some1 you are not ATTRACTED to?
Of course personality and character is most important in a person. But however i think one should be attracted to the person one is planning to marry. You are going to spend rest of your life with the person and share everything with him or her, so there should be some level of attraction there.. By being attractive i dont mean he or she should be the hottest person ever with perfect height and body and so on. What people find attractive is different from person to person , what is attractive for you, dont necessarily mean thats attractive for somone else. As long as you feel attracted to your future spouse ,thats what matters. As they say ''beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder''.
So i realy dont think she should get married to him if she dont feel any attractiion for him at all.
Re: Should you marry some1 you are not ATTRACTED to?
i dont think she should cos u need tht initial attraction...the guy may have a good personality etc but if shes not attracted to him shes not attracted to him....sometimes u have an initial attraction and then u get to know the person and the person seems more attractive...
Re: Should you marry some1 you are not ATTRACTED to?
Its not a good idea to marry someone you are not attracted to in the least.
If she is repulsed by him, tell her to say NO for his sake because he seems like a good man and deserves someone who will appreciate him for what he is...not what he isnt.
Re: Should you marry some1 you are not ATTRACTED to?
***Its physical attraction that tides over the inital period in a marriage while the two people adjust and adapt to each others personalities. If there is no attraction , there will be no motivation to make things work.
A person shud not get into a marriage , if they find they find their partner repulsive or cannot see themselves being attracted to them on any level. He might have a good character and he might be attractive to someone else but obviously your friend has strong feelings about his physical flaws and she should not get herself into a situation where both will make each other miserable for the rest of their lives.***
Re: Should you marry some1 you are not ATTRACTED to?
You SHOULD feel attracted to the person you're going to marry. I don't think there is anything superficial about that. It's human nature and it's manifested in the most basic of routines. For example, we don't buy clothes/items we're not attracted to. We're likely to not eat food that doesn't look appealing either. It's necessary to take into account personality/character.....but attraction has its own important place in the relationship. It's not fair to him to marry someone who doesn't find him attractive and vice versa.
Re: Should you marry some1 you are not ATTRACTED to?
No.
It is not fair to yourself or to the other person. You're setting the marriage up to fail.
Physical attraction and satisfaction are important. I think for women in particular, attraction grows with familiarity and affection, but if there's nothing to begin with, I don't think that's a good idea. The spark is important.
If your friend is attracted to his personality/nature immensly, totally loving his nature than I think the physical issue could be solved... FAT can lose weight... ACNE can go away with a help of a dermatologist, STYLE could be changed with her help, picking out his clothes when shopping etc. Its all upto her. If she is willing to take this as a challenge then why not. Guys usually in the end would let a girl pick out their things, listen to them in regards to style, hair, looks etc.
Question is how much is she attracted to the PERSONALITY to be willing to change the physical apperance of him??
Re: Should you marry some1 you are not ATTRACTED to?
Well back in home first look Pehli Nazar on he/she is most affected in future relations, I dont know why every one there looking for so SUPER handsome Great beauty. dont know how short he is but about weitht he can reduce it and style he can adopt it, why not just start it as a normal friend and waite if he got any change on him
Re: Should you marry some1 you are not ATTRACTED to?
haha no, i dont think she should marry him. she says that she's not attractd to him, which is enough said. i dont think she fancies the idea of being with him at all!
Re: Should you marry some1 you are not ATTRACTED to?
Bad idea. How can you marry someone just for the sake of getting married? If you're not attracted to them it's best if you just run in the opposite direction.