Should you keep secrets from your spouse for their own good, or is secrecy always corrosive to marriages?
for sure... I do.
the key to any successful marriage is lots of secrecy.
Re: Should you keep secrets from your spouse?
What kinda secrets?
Should you keep secrets from your spouse for their own good, or is secrecy always corrosive to marriages?
It's like you're asking "Should you never keep secrets from your SO?" and "Are secrets ALWAYS dangerous for a marriage?"
Two extremes situations, two absolutes. So many things to consider, such as the situation.....and whether or not the secret will directly impact your spouse and the marriage.
You could say that SOMETIMES it may be the right thing to divulge a secret to your spouse...as not doing so may actually hurt the marriage (especially if it were to come out later)...........and SOMETIMES keeping the secret to yourself is best because it has the potential to destroy the marriage. You know that, WF. Few absolutes in the real world. Pick and choose your battles.
In my opinion, let's say that you had past crushes and relationships.....and you've moved on completely from them.....and you KNOW that they won't affect your marriage because you don't care at all for your former flames......then what's the need to discuss this information with your spouse? There's really no need for it. Not revealing such information does not make you a bad spouse. In some situations (such as this), I've read on the Islamic websites....the the advisers say it's best not to discuss such situations cuz they can backfire.
But issues such as some sort of disease (STD or otherwise) or a medical condition, for example.......that will affect your spouse....it should be shared.
Re: Should you keep secrets from your spouse?
Yes. My husband doesnt need to know that I frequent this forum.
Re: Should you keep secrets from your spouse?
I think only share the information the other party could digest without major issue.
I know someone who shard his past with wife, the lady has some kind psychosocial issue, suddenly become over suspicious, checking his cell phone every night without his knowledge, accusing him having affair with any girl he happen to work with or in contact due to his work.
The marriage ended up in divorce.
This might be an extreme case, but one need to careful.
Re: Should you keep secrets from your spouse?
For her sanity, never tell her you have an affair! Why break her heart? :(
Re: Should you keep secrets from your spouse?
If its going to hurt your relationship .. then YES!
For her sanity, never tell her you have an affair! Why break her heart? :(
That was past (before marriage) relationships, although most people do share this, until one got it in this way.
:k:
That was past (before marriage) relationships, although most people do share this, until one got it in this way.
I know, I was not referring to your post. I was joking and referred to any current 'affair'. I mean if tell her, she will be devastated and will not cook food for you. :D
Re: Should you keep secrets from your spouse?
Something that happened before you met your spouse and for some reason you want to keep it a secret, is understandable. A present happening and you like to keep it a secret is questionable. It may or may not be negative situation but still something needs to be changed in this situation.
Re: Should you keep secrets from your spouse?
I think keeping secrets and respecting the boundaries are two different things . I define secret as something that your spouse need to know but you intentionally didn't tell him/her . Am I right ?
If its going to hurt your relationship .. then YES!
ditto!
Re: Should you keep secrets from your spouse?
Dont tell your spouse anything, ever.
Just kidding.
Be a good judge of the situation...dont tell him what you and your girlfriends talk about. Dont tell him you spent an extra $20 on an eyeshadow. Dont tell him you have to get your eyebrows done. Dont tell him his mother is the spawn of the devil.
Tell him if you blew an extra $200 on a shopping spree if you have a joint account he monitors. Tell him you're pregnant. Tell him how you feel about certain things. Tell him his family is angelic and the best thing since sliced bread.
…..
Re: Should you keep secrets from your spouse?
^ lol!
Re: Should you keep secrets from your spouse?
lol @ ...their good?
lack of information is NEVER good but for person who is hiding it...
lol @ ...their good?
lack of information is NEVER good but for person who is hiding it...
So we should stop hiding from you how we really feel about you?
So we should stop hiding from you how we really feel about you?
be my guest ..... I'm ready to get overwhelmed with the shower of love :)
I'd rather not live with someone than living with her while she secretly hating me