Should I wait or move on?

Lifestyle Relationships
1

I am in a strange dilemma.
There’s this guy whom I met on a matrimonial site around 2 months before.We got to know each other,and then he talked to his parents about me,and then,his mom called me and asked few questions about me,my family,etc, and so, after that,his parents told him that they were okay to take things further. So now,he wants me to talk to my parents about him and as of when they can visit our home with the proposal.
That’s the first part.
Now the second part:
I live in Middle East.His family is also settled here in the same country.But he,being holder of U.S. passport,keeps moving to U.S. and Middle East throughout year, according to him. So, after staying here for 3 months, he moved back to U.S. 6 days ago, telling me that,there he would have to get his home renovated,pay taxes,and couple of other similar tasks,and would be back as soon as his works are completed there which may take a couple of weeks or perhaps few days more than two weeks.And he even told me that,while there,he would be in touch with me through emails, and so, till now he has sent me a couple of emails.But in his emails, he kind of teasingly writes me that, he won’t be back. Now, I am not sure if he really means it or not.We are just in the initial stages of knowing each other, and so, i just wonder that, if he wouldn’t come back, then perhaps I should move ahead with my life.Or I feel perhaps Iam just being too insecure.

So, reading all this, what you people conclude? Shall I continue to wait for him for a maximum of 2 weeks, as according to him he would be back then. Or shall I try moving on with my life?

(PS - Didn’t know to whom to talk all these out, so just wrote them down over here, sorry!)

2

Re: Should I wait or move on?

what is the probability that you'd find a new shikaar in 2 weeks?

is that too long a wait? 2 weekssss??????? really???

3

Re: Should I wait or move on?

He has a lot of responsibilities in the US to take care of....I say that you should wait the two weeks...it's not a long time. The important thing is that he keeps in touch with you during the time frame. If you don't hear from him at all...that would be more of a problem. When he teases that he won't be back.....are you maybe reacting strongly to that? You know how people get a kick out of teasing someone whom they know will get irritated and entertain them with a reaction? That's a possibility for the frequent teasing. Or maybe he's just looking for validation. Don't let it bother you. Just wait and go with the flow. If you don't hear from him a long time...if there's frequent wishy-washiness....or if he's often inconsistent between words and action.....the move on from him. You haven't invested too much emotional energy into him...so IF it comes to the point where you decide it's better to end things....it won't be too hard. For now, go with the flow.

4

Re: Should I wait or move on?

Why not ask him to have his parents call your family and set a date/time for the families to meet? That'll tell you how serious he is.

5

Re: Should I wait or move on?

Really?

6

Re: Should I wait or move on?

Tax paying season has long gone in US , and if he does not have a job here what is he paying taxes on ? My property taxes are taken care of by my mortgage company. If he has a business which is run by employees then his accountant has to take care of that.
There is some hanky panky going on. Do your homework (investigation) properly.
Internet has provided a good platform to crooks and perverts to prey on innocent people. If he is such a good catch he would not have to advertise his profile on the internet.
He might be legit , all I am saying make sure that he is legit.

I quote from an article I came across recently it is written with Western perspective in mind but most of it applies to desi situation too.
With over 1,500 sites devoted to dating, the Internet is ripe for romance — and rip-offs. How do you avoid opening your heart — and your wallet — to a prince (or princess) too charming to be true? One way: Stay local and use search engines to check out suitors. “Staying local drastically reduces your odds of being scammed, since most scammers target victims outside their areas to avoid being caught or prosecuted,” notes Canadian journalist Risha Gotlieb.

7

Re: Should I wait or move on?

I suggest you wait for 2 weeks and see where it goes. I mean how much moving on can you do in 2 weeks??

I do think there's more to the story than you have been told. What if he has a wife/gf already? When I first read your post, I initially thought he's probably already got a family of his own. I know this might sound pretty ridiculous, but it has happened to girls who got married and found out after that their husband was already married before. I would say what Mirch said - do your investigation. Do it thoroughly, and leave no stone unturned.

8

Re: Should I wait or move on?

I'm curious as to what this guy does for a living? Yes I'm aware that there are jobs that allow you to travel back and forth between the U.S. and other countries on a regular basis....but I'm wondering what this guy does specifically.

And I agree with one of the posters above. If "paying taxes" is one of his reason for coming back to the U.S. now...then that should raise a red flag. Income tax deadline in the U.S. passed months ago...so if this guy is behind on his income tax...that's not a good thing. And property taxes are generally taken care of by title or mortgage companies. Even IF he was paying his own property tax for whatever reason....he doesn't have to be in the U.S. to pay it. He can easily mail them a check or money order from the Middle East.

At at the end......him being in the U.S. does not prevent his parents from calling your parents and setting up a meeting time.

2 weeks is not a long time so you should wait until he gets back. But PLEASE do your research. Just what you wrote on your post....something doesn't seem to add up.

9

Re: Should I wait or move on?

To OP:

If you have friends and/or relatives in the U.S., I would also have them do a search on marriage and divorce records in the cities this guy has lived in. I know at least in my city....these are public records and does not cost any money to do so. You don't want any "surprises" later on.

10

Re: Should I wait or move on?

He’s really late on his taxes.:hoonh:

11

Re: Should I wait or move on?

FYI some taxes are paid year-round.

but ya ya what everyone else said is correct.

12

Re: Should I wait or move on?

I see :hmmm:

13

Re: Should I wait or move on?

well the only one i can think of right now is self-employment tax which is paid quarterly...but he can easily mail a check fromwherever he is. anyways.

14

Re: Should I wait or move on?

Such an efficient FIFO queue :k:

15

Re: Should I wait or move on?

I agree with disney princess...something seems weird. what do you mena by saying "he teases you about not coming back"? Jking about it once or twice is one thing, but if he's repeatedly mentioning it...

16

Re: Should I wait or move on?

i wouldnt wait

i dont care what anyone says to you i wouldnt wait i would start searching for someone else

this guy seems to be a RED FLAG to me...something is going on that he is not being HONEST about and i always say ....life partner woh ho who is both honest and kind...so i wudnt wait cuz he is not being honest and he is definitely not being kind if he is messing with ya about not coming back

he seems to be one of those guys who needed some kinda "timepass" for a little bit and now he has moved on

from what i have seen most guys who kid about not coming back or finding someone else usually are not kidding and were NOT serious with you to begin with... so upto you do you like him so much that u want to wait? if yes i would still be open to other rishtas and if he chooses to come back fyne! if not you will have a back up n u wont feel like u invested time in waiting for some1 who wasnt worth it

17

Re: Should I wait or move on?

i would suggest you to wait for two weeks.

you should also talk with your parents about his email thing. it is too early to assume that he is no longer interested in you.

18

Re: Should I wait or move on?

FIFO queue?

19

Re: Should I wait or move on?

Yup

Okay to the OP...I don't see how two weeks will drastically change your life. Its not two months or two years...two weeks.

The 6 months living here and then 6 months living there sounds weird to me but that could just be something he has to do for the time being.

Him joking about not moving back may be his way of testing the waters to see how open you might be to moving to the US or it could be a tease or it could be his way of seeing how you'd react to him not coming back.

The point I am trying to make here is that you just don't know right now and your wait time isn't much at all. Let him come back and you will find out.

20

Re: Should I wait or move on?

First In , First Out :)