So before I got engaged to my husband (totally arranged situation), I had another rishta. It was a pretty good rishta but I just didn’t seem to have any chemistry with the guy so I said no. It turns out that guy is now married to a school friend of my husband’s. They got married recently and have now moved to a city near ours. Now my husband wants to go visit them next week. I’m kind of nervous because it will probably be really awkward for me to meet the other guy. My husband has no idea about my history with the other guy and my sister insists there is no reason to tell him either. What do you guys think? Could this blow up in my face down the line? Please advise!
Re: Should I say something?
I would tell him casually n not make a big deal out of it.
I see what where your sister is coming from by saying there is no reason to tell him, but I think there is, if he finds out later, which he probably will, then he will wander why you didn't tell him before n think that you have something to hide whereas if you tell him now n r upfront about it at least you r being honest and showing you have faith in him. This desi mentality of sweeping everything under the carpet normally makes situations worse in the end.
How long have you been married? And what about your friend? Does she know about the rishta coming to you first.
Depending on the length of time, it may impact husbands reaction as he may say why didn't you tell me before? How come your telling me now?
Re: Should I say something?
you tall about her history then you feel relux and you face them
Re: Should I say something?
Just tell ur husband no big deal.
Re: Should I say something?
I would tell him casually n not make a big deal out of it.
I see what where your sister is coming from by saying there is no reason to tell him, but I think there is, if he finds out later, which he probably will, then he will wander why you didn't tell him before n think that you have something to hide whereas if you tell him now n r upfront about it at least you r being honest and showing you have faith in him. This desi mentality of sweeping everything under the carpet normally makes situations worse in the end.
How long have you been married? And what about your friend? Does she know about the rishta coming to you first.
Depending on the length of time, it may impact husbands reaction as he may say why didn't you tell me before? How come your telling me now?
We've been married two years now AH. I just don't want him to feel awkward. I've never lied to him about my past (I don't have much of one...lol). He knows I've had several rishtas before he came into the picture, but he's never met any of those guys and I worry about him feeling jealous for no reason. I'm weighing the chances of him finding out against the risk of him finding out from someone else.
Which friend? The girl is my husband's friend and I have no idea if she knows. She asked us about him when she first got his rishta but I just pretended I didn't know the guy.
Re: Should I say something?
There is no history between you two. It was a proposal and it didn't work out. Nothing to stress about. I don't think.there is anything wrong with telling or not telling your husband. Don't over think it
Re: Should I say something?
I would think it would be less awkward if your husband knew about it, that way, there are no unexpected surprises for your husband.
Just tell him an introduction was made between your families, neither side felt there was compatibility, phir baat khatam!
Re: Should I say something?
There is no past here or history. There really is nothing to tell or be stressed out over.
Its been 2 years so I'd say its a bit strange to feel awkward about when there's no reason to. If you feel this is that scandalous, please tell him but ummm...a rishta really is not a big deal. Normally, girls get many proposals before they settle on one. I highly doubt even he remembers.
Re: Should I say something?
Dude, there's no history. You and your family chose your husband. He should feel honoured. If you want to warn him then laugh it off instead of making it sound as serious as it isn't.
Re: Should I say something?
We've been married two years now AH. I just don't want him to feel awkward. I've never lied to him about my past (I don't have much of one...lol). He knows I've had several rishtas before he came into the picture, but he's never met any of those guys and I worry about him feeling jealous for no reason. I'm weighing the chances of him finding out against the risk of him finding out from someone else.
Which friend? The girl is my husband's friend and I have no idea if she knows. She asked us about him when she first got his rishta but I just pretended I didn't know the guy.
Since the girl is his friend then it no big deal, I thought she was your friend n might wander why u didn't tell her.
You are over thinking and stressing too much over the situation as many rishtas come and go and this is not a big deal unless you has an actual relationship with the guy and a history with him. But as I said before, mention it casually to your husband.
Re: Should I say something?
It might have been a good idea not to have "pretended" in the first place when his friend asked you guys for advice.
Now it's gonna be, "Why didn't you tell then?"
It really depends on the relationship you have with your husband and if he has the type of personality that harbors feelings of jealousy or not.
You know how to read him.
Definitely better to tell him before he finds out in some other way.
Re: Should I say something?
better safe than sorry - its trivial to cause any impact so why not tell him beforehand.
Re: Should I say something?
Wuts the problem here? 
Re: Should I say something?
Well the rejected guy would probably tell your hubbys friend who would tell your husband at one point or the other or it would just come up. So best to tell him.
Re: Should I say something?
Well the rejected guy would probably tell your hubbys friend who would tell your husband at one point or the other or it would just come up. So best to tell him.
That's just the thing though. I'm wondering if he actually did tell his wife. And if he didn't, why stir things up?
You guys are right though. I think I made a bigger deal of it in my head. I've decided I'll keep mum for now and if it ever comes up I'll just brush it off as unimportant
Re: Should I say something?
why not just tell him? it seems to be bothering you.
Re: Should I say something?
Two out of four people in that room would know already. Chances are the wife would learn about that too. You don't want your hubby to find out later he was the only uniformed person in that room.
If you tell him now, he will never ask 'why are you telling me' - but if you don't tell and he found out, he will definitely ask 'why didn't you tell me'.
Your call.,
Should I say something?
You guys wernt in a relationship it was just a rishta which didnt go ahead for valid reasons. I would just mention to your husband im sure hel understand and wont see it as a big issue
Re: Should I say something?
I would casually mention it to my husband about it and that would be it.
Re: Should I say something?
no big deal.girls do get many proposals, its just so normal. You should mention it to your husband as it makes complete sense.