Re: Should I move on?
So you all think iam at fault? :( Then how can i rectify it, because i don't really want to lose him! :(
So you all think iam at fault? :( Then how can i rectify it, because i don't really want to lose him! :(
But you wanted to break it off.? And you said that to him aswell.! And now when he has suggested a break your in panic mode. I personally think your both not mature enough to be getting parents invovled let alone being in a relationship. Hes lazy with contact and you want someone who makes the effort. So ignore him. And get on with your life. In this 3 week break youl realise that maybe just mybe hes not the one for you. And i definantly think hes looking for a way out. So STOP contacting him.! He's probably going to think your desperate.. So dont
Re: Should I move on?
So you all think iam at fault? :( Then how can i rectify it, because i don't really want to lose him! :(
Yes, you are at fault for being too clingy.
If you want to have any chance at rectifying this then give the guy what he asked you for...a break. Starting today....3 weeks...do not contact him in any way. If he contacts you, then respond. But do not intitiate any contact with him at all for 3 weeks.
Re: Should I move on?
I have mixed feelings about this relationship, but I lean toward what Paheli suggested in her original post.
1) Purple, if he wants space....you give him the galaxy. It may not sound like it right now, but giving him that space will be HEALTHY for both you and him. See, you won't just be giving him space.....you'll be giving YOURSELF some space too. And YOU can use that time apart from him to reflect over your relationship and whether or not he's the right guy for you and whether or not YOU want to marry him. Why does it all have to be about him? It's good to contemplate over your own feelings as well. It's easier said than done, but don't be so terrified about giving and receiving space. Before this guy entered the picture, you DID have a life.....and that shouldn't stop. Your life does not revolve around and your self-worth is not based upon him or any guy. Continue living your life.....read a book, work out, talk to friends, watch a movie, paint your nails, go for a walk, take a trip, cook, do your laundry, clean, take on a project, get in touch with your spiritual side. Again......that break apart will help you connect with YOU and also figure out if you want this guy in your life. You might realize that you had even "lost" yourself in this guy.
2) When you didn't hear from him, you missed him right? And missing him made it all the more exciting/sweeter when he got into touch with you, right? So, why deprive him of the pleasure/excitement of missing you? Some amount of space is good, Purple. Give him a chance to miss you at times. He can't do that if you're always bugging him.
3) Respect is the most basic component of a relationship. When he asked you for space.....and you didn't give him...that's disrespectful. That may sound harsh, but it is. Imagine if someone followed you around all the time, breathed down your neck, wouldn't leave you alone....you'd be pretty annoyed too right? And worse...that person would continue to bug you EVEN after you requested that they back off from you. How would you feel? I don't know about you......but if I were to even talk to my female friends every single day.....there will come a point when I get tired of things and need a break for some time. It makes the reconnection better, I find, in most cases. You can't even have a friendship.......let alone a relationship......if you don't try to respect each other's wishes. To gain some, you have to give up some.
4) I think one of the reasons guys are afraid of entering a relationship/commitment because they fear losing their freedom. They fear the girl that will infringe upon that freedom.........freak out if they want to hang out with their guy friends, or not give them the space to just be a guy and do things by himself or with OTHER people in his life. It's stifling. Do not turn into that girl! Men (especially) and women...will at times pull away in a relationship. Let them. By giving him his space....you're showing him that you UNDERSTAND/RESPECT him.....and everyone wants to be understood/respected and in turn he in turn will appreciate that....and it increases the chances of him missing you and coming back. Chasing after him will backfire.
5) I'm not guaranteeing that your boyfriend will definitely want to get in touch with you and marry you. THIS SHOULD NOT be the reason for you taking a break from him. You should take a break for 2 reasons: Firstly out of respect for his wishes and secondly for yourself. We all need a break to focus on other things. It's so easy to get caught up in another person and lose yourself. This time apart will put things in perspective for you.....and if you realize that he's not the one for you.......it's better to figure that out now instead after the wedding and ending up with a divorce. Don't rush to the decision of dumping him. Take a break from him.......take it one day a time.....and it'll give you a better feel for what you want in your life and whether or not he should be a part of it. A marriage is not only based on the other person's approval/acceptance of you.....your own approval of them is very important as well. I know it's tough, been there done that. Hang in there and best wishes.
Re: Should I move on?
Wow, loved reading from you! Indeed a very helpful post! Thanks a lot dear 
Re: Should I move on?
@namaan: agreed!
@OP: I am sorry but you seems a kinda chipko girl. Well, better to break-up with him and please don't look forward for another guy for relationship/to get married, you parents would do so for you. Don't take too much tension. Its common now a day: girls become too serious after few FB chit chat or on wrong sms/call while guys just take it casually. I don't know if he is treating you the same way or not but the way he is behaving with you is obviously suspicious phr aise shakhs k pechy na parro jo jaan chhurra raha hai u se???
Re: Should I move on?
Don't jump to conclusions right now about him or your relationship. Just take a break...and try to enjoy your break....and let your reflections during this time guide you through your confusion.
Re: Should I move on?
Some relationships are not meant to be.
Two people who care for each other know it. She would know it and so would he. He would not disappear for weeks at a time nor would she go wild because he didn't contact her for an entire day. This would not happen if these two people were actually good for each other. Something about him makes her insecure and something about her makes him run in the opposite direction.
Purple, there are people out there that bring out the best in you. This guy does not...this does not mean he is wrong and you are right. It simply means you two are a bad match. You need to move on.
You are making lots of assumptions here sweet sugar. We don't have fella's perspective on this issue so we can't take one party's point of view as final. Second is...at some point in my life..i have been that guy who has gone through very similiar experience. And i tell ya it is not pretty..
Re: Should I move on?
You are making lots of assumptions here sweet sugar. We don't have fella's perspective on this issue so we can't take one party's point of view as final. Second is...at some point in my life..i have been that guy who has gone through very similiar experience. And i tell ya it is not pretty..
i really want to believe what most of you folks said about giving a guy his space but from my experience, most of the relationships ihave seen where a guy really likes a woman, he does everything in his might to talk to her and be with her and also make the effort to let her know if smtng came up.
being a person who LOVES her space, i disagree with most ppl about a man just wanting space
It takes a second to tell ur special one that you have smtn important to do and you are tired etc.
having said that, it wouldnt be a bad idea to give him space and see if it makes things better. and only reason im saying this is bc it seems you really like him. but dont settle for any person in ur life who wont make effort for you.
Re: Should I move on?
You are making lots of assumptions here sweet sugar. We don't have fella's perspective on this issue so we can't take one party's point of view as final. Second is...at some point in my life..i have been that guy who has gone through very similiar experience. And i tell ya it is not pretty..
You're right...I might be making a lot of assumptions here. But let me ask you something...has emotional clingy-ness ever been good for anyone? The clinger or the clingee? Not in my experience. The least that needs to happen is she has to stop depending on his texts and phone calls to make this relationship work.
Leave him alone purple...if he wants you he will come and find you.
Re: Should I move on?
As I said earlier, I have mixed feelings about this relationship. Does a person really need THAT much space....especially from someone they're considering for marriage? I dunno. When one person (in this case, Purple) is making ALL the effort in the relationship....the guy really doesn't have to do much. I don't know what's going on with him. It could be that she is really getting on his nerves with contacting him too much, or maybe his request for a break is a hint to her that he's not sure about the relationship and is using it as a ruse to later on tell her that he didn't miss her during the break and therefore he doesn't think they're right for each other, or if maybe he has someone on the side.
It could be anything, and nobody can tell her for sure what's up with him or what she should do. It would all be guesswork. Backing off would respect his needs, maintain her dignity/self-respect, and also give her the space to figure out if she should even marry this guy. It should be a reflection period and not a get him back strategy. And it's tough to keep that in mind ....but hopefully the way that events unfold during this break will help her see things clearly enough to make a decision. Maybe pray for guidance/istakhara.