Lately, I found my nephew (My jethani’s 9 month old son) is wearing a black dori which she often keeps it inside his shirt. The dori has so many knots in it. When I asked her what is it, she said, its for Hifazat.
I am sure a lot of you have learnt the translation of Surah-e-Falak, and it clearly states, Wa min Sharri-n-nafasati fil uqad (translation: From the evil of sorceresses who blow incantations on knots, aur gundon p parh parh ker phoonknay waliyon ki burai say)… I am concerned if she is not committing a sin.
I know a lot of you may think that its her faith, let it go, that let her do what she wants to… but the thing is, its about religion, Our religion and our religion teaches that burai dekh ke burai ko na rokne wala bhi burai main shamil hota hay.. so being a Muslim, I kind of feel it my responsibility to deliver it to her. Wo manay na manay, agay us ki marzi.
I just want to know, am i thinking right? should I be bothered? kiya pata wo waqain unaware ho… I am just afraid how will she react .. should I discuss it with her no matter if she creates a fuss? I dont know how will she react!!
You are not wrong in being bothered but you should stay quiet.
I'm sure you knew what it meant and how it a sin as soon as you saw that thread in her sons shirt. If you had to talk to her about it it, you should've brought it up then and there the first time you noticed it. No point doing it later. Although I don't think she would've been very happy to hear your opinion on it, because;
It's her son and you don't get to have a say.
People who believe in all this really don't like other people mingling into their religious preferences or actions or whatever. They think and KNOW what they are doing it right and no matter what you say or do, she will not change her mind. Instead she'll hold it against you.
Keeping in view her strained relationship with you, you think she'd like you lecturing her about something, even if it's right?
You're here for a few months only, how about you act like can only see and not talk when it comes to her? Will make your life much easier.
I know you're being bothered by the Islamic aspects of this but trust me it's better to let it be.
I have seen so many people do this with kids, the taweez, the kala teeka, the anklet the surma and the idea is that its to prevent the first nazar which is heavy on the kid since it will be directed towards the black object.
I don't believe in any of this and never did it with my kid, the best form of preventing nazar was to recite ayatulkursi and quls and to give as much sadqa. Just tell your jethanj that sadqa and ayatulkursi/quls are islamically prescribed and would hold more weight in warding off nazar.
I agree with Hadeel. I know your intentions are pure and you would like to do this for the sake of Allah, but IMO I would stay away from brining this up because she is more than likely to get defensive especially given your sensitive rishta with her.
Raania made a good point, if you can casually bring this topic up and inform her that sadqa and ayatulkursi/quls are good to ward of nazar without calling her out on the dori, it will serve the two of you well.
The surah you mentioned is referring to the evil of those who do JADOO TONA on others and who do TAWEEZ to harm others and for evil unlawful things.
whereas in your case your SIL has put the taweez around the neck of her son for the purpose of his safety and to prevent him from ill and evil so it does not establish that she comes into the category which is mentioned in the Surah.
also different sects of people have different views on the subject of wearing taweez to prevent oneself from the evil.
some disapproves of it and some says that as long as the duas and words written on Taweez are from the Quran then it is okay to wear them but it is a SHIRK if the words are contradictory to Quran and Quran teachings.
some people tie around the Taweez to little kids because they cannot recite the duas and surahs for safety themselves.
Believing that thread or a knot or anything for that matter can do "hifazat" is considered shirk. Who is that different from a hindu who carries a statue for protection? Prophet SAW forbade these kinds of things. You should advise her that believing that an "object" can protect anyone from anything is shirk and ask protection from allah and the dua taught by prophet SAW. There is a specific dua for protection of the children, tell her to look it up. Reading quran may protect you from things, but not just placing it in taweez. There is no evidence of Taweez from sahaba. gudiaali is right if the taweez has quran it's not as bad, but still should avoid it.
Many muslims wear a thing called Taveez. This may be some sort of Taveez and we cannot assume that this is something wrong. Isn't it wrong to suspect someone of sin?
I know you're coming with the purest of intentions but if you talk to her, do you think she'll be grateful to you. It'll just create more drama. Just pray for Allah to guide your Jaithani to the correct path and preserve the baby (that doesn't mean that we think she is on the wrong path).
I just wanted to discuss it with her because she recites Quran and she prays too. I thought, explaining her with the help of a Quranic Aaayat may help. If I would just know about it from a Hadith I would really stay away but it has clearly stated in Surah-e-falak. I am sure she wont be arguing over that.
But yeah, hadeel you are right, I should have talked to her at the time I asked her about the thread.
Some times I feel I should stay quite and sometimes I feel, so what if she creates a drama one more time, My Allah knows what my intentions are and He will help me throughout!! :/
I dont want to impose my opinion on her, I was thinking to discuss it with her for just a minute.
I just wanted to discuss it with her because she recites Quran and she prays too. I thought, explaining her with the help of a Quranic Aaayat may help. If I would just know about it from a Hadith I would really stay away but it has clearly stated in Surah-e-falak. I am sure she wont be arguing over that.
But yeah, hadeel you are right, I should have talked to her at the time I asked her about the thread.
Some times I feel I should stay quite and sometimes I feel, so what if she creates a drama one more time, My Allah knows what my intentions are and He will help me throughout!! :/
I dont want to impose my opinion on her, I was thinking to discuss it with her for just a minute.
Manna na maannna, uska kaam!
Sometimes even those who perform all their Salaats, recite the Quran daily and spend their 'free time' learning about religion and devoting it to their faith can place their faith in such things. She may honestly believe that as she has such a firm hold of her own faith (reciting Quran etc) that having such a thing for protection isn't wrong.
Some Muftis/Sheikhs allow it as far as I'm aware. I guess it boils down to which Imam/Mufti/Sheikh she follows.
Also; as it's your SIL I support the others on the idea of remaining quiet. If it was your own sister I'd say talk to her because you know her well enough but in such a case it maybe worth staying quiet.
Isn't there womans lectures held at an Islamic centre near you on the subject you could both attend? Just as a way of insight into the subject? Just a thought.
but dont you think being a Muslim, we all have certain responsibilities?
Are you kidding us or yourself? You have already told us about the drama in that house. No woman wants to hear how to raise her kids or keep her home from others especially her in-laws. You're an in-law, an outsider. Especially since the 2 of you already have differences.
There are strict rules to behave with in-laws when they don't like you. It's your choice. Do what you please and reap what you sow.
I have a taveez around my neck aswell... it includes the 4 quls .. i had a locket around my neck, but i got scars around my neck and chest... so the imam wrote it as an taweez and i keep it around my neck almost all the time (just take it of when i go to the toilet or have the monthly flow.
If it is a quran ayat, i would say leave it... but if it is just a cord with knots in it... u could gently let her know by sending a translation of a surat and she will understand in shaa allah.
how would you feel if someone said something about singing on a forum full of namehrams being a sin etc?
Queer you are so right and I dont deny any single word of your sentence. Singing or knotting thread (as I mentioned) are not the only sins and there are many kabira and saghira gunah which we should be well-aware of.
I know singing is haram and thats why I didn't choose it as my profession. I sing here only because I love singing. I have a lot of opportunities to be a professional singer but I refused. I had a lot of opportunities to be a Model and I refused too. But committing a sin doesnt mean you can not direct someone a path or a better way if you know.
Committing a sin doesnt allow you to commit more of them. You should control what you can.
I have a taveez around my neck aswell... it includes the 4 quls .. i had a locket around my neck, but i got scars around my neck and chest... so the imam wrote it as an taweez and i keep it around my neck almost all the time (just take it of when i go to the toilet or have the monthly flow.
If it is a quran ayat, i would say leave it... but if it is just a cord with knots in it... u could gently let her know by sending a translation of a surat and she will understand in shaa allah.
Yeah SL, it is just a thread with so many knots in it and eventually, I spoke to her politely about it this evening.
I asked her if she has learnt the translation of surah-e-falak which she said, I dont remember it and then I asked her to read it, and told her that it has been disallowed clearly in the ayat to get yourself into such things. Alhamdulillah she understood it and said, Ok I will read, if it is what you are saying, I will definitely get it off from him.
