ok , i was HONESTLY going to blog this, but my cursor isnt clicking on the right hand side …on the bit where it says settings/my blog etc..
so hopefully this sends.
should i be happy…or not, about the fact my husband has agreed we will move back in a year, april coming, however i dont think hes happy about it. we hav no choice, as i want to live sepertly and he doesnt want to live sep in pak, so we have to go back to uk, he says its fine, but i can see hes not that happy about it, maybe leaving his parents, maybe the country, he says he was uncomftble there just as i am here. but has agreed for me to move back due to mil issues/etc and just me wanting to live sep now. obv me going back and getting his visa etc sorted would take another year FOR HIM, so hes ok with that, but i feel abit upset that im upsetting him too. yes ok so me being here isnt nice for me, but what the point of him feeling same as me there. we in a no win situation.
R u the one who posted that u have to come back because ur hubby's parents presurred ur hubby to return to homeland. I m asking just for understanding the whole situation
ok , i was HONESTLY going to blog this, but my cursor isnt clicking on the right hand side ....on the bit where it says settings/my blog etc..
so hopefully this sends.
should i be happy....or not, about the fact my husband has agreed we will move back in a year, april coming, however i dont think hes happy about it. we hav no choice, as i want to live sepertly and he doesnt want to live sep in pak, so we have to go back to uk, he says its fine, but i can see hes not that happy about it, maybe leaving his parents, maybe the country, he says he was uncomftble there just as i am here. but has agreed for me to move back due to mil issues/etc and just me wanting to live sep now. obv me going back and getting his visa etc sorted would take another year FOR HIM, so hes ok with that, but i feel abit upset that im upsetting him too. yes ok so me being here isnt nice for me, but what the point of him feeling same as me there. we in a no win situation.
should i jsut be selfish and feel happy anyway
serious replies please. thank you.
no you should not be happy.its always confusing.islam gives the best solution of this matter but we have to follow the rigid joint family system of hindus or altogether change the country or city just to find peace and independence away from the parents.sadly parents become controlling powers or be alone without their kids around.islam gives a solution where household systems are separate but famililes can live together.even a small house can have a separate kitchen which is biggest issue normally,separate servants but you are there around to be available for one another.but ppl say "loog kiya kahane gay kitchen alaag hey".but ppl use to be ok when sons get immigrations just to be away from parents and to have peace of mind of them and their wives.parents should also think that they have rights on their sons not over their daughter in laws.its a rishta of ehsan for them.atleast we can have clear minds if we
So you do a whoooole drama and zid every minute of the day you moan To go back and NOW your thinking of husbands happiness when you have forced to get your way? Very considerate .
you are in a no-win situation honestly ! you do care about his happiness but you cannot ignore yours either. you need to decide what is more important for you ? if his happiness means more, you need to try to adjust in Pakistan without moaning 24/7 making him feel guilty all the time for putting you into this but for this you need to make him sit and listen WHY are you not happy in Pakistan. as far as I have judged from your threads, none of your problems here are the ones that cannot be taken care of. you can ignore what mil says or does, stop complaining all the time, make your husband realise he needs to take you out and accompany you shopping, go to dinners alone, etc. the point is you both should work on "jahan rahayn khushi khushi rahayn" and work on things helping you do this instead of Rona pitna all the time and wasting life !
If your husband has made up his mind that you all will definitely be moving back to England and he's not budging from his decision......just take this as being Allah's current plan for you, Nadz....as opposed to over-thinking yet another situation. Maybe there is good/behtri in this move....maybe it will result in greater peace for ALL persons involved, but they're just not aware of it now. Sometimes we realize things down the road. I don't think you're the sole reason behind his decision, he more than likely considered the happiness of other parties as well. At some point in the future, who knows...your in-laws might come live with you again....and if/when they do, think about how you can do things differently to make life easier for yourself (such as ignoring/letting some things slide, etc).
Think about it this way, if u did decide to stay would you be able to be the best mum for ur kids & give them independence/strength you wanted. Isn't being happy you're self essential to being a positive role model? Kids are emotionally intelligent and they pick up on such stuff more than we realize.
If u did live here ,would u be just another person who sacrificed & eventually resents the person they did the sacrifice for? If it's going to cost you emotionally to a point where it will harm ur family life then maybe this is the best path for you.Not everyone's journeys are the same. Maybe absence will also make him realize a little bit of effort on his part would've helped and maybe you will feel the same with time?
If your husband has made up his mind that you all will definitely be moving back to England and he's not budging from his decision......just take this as being Allah's current plan for you, Nadz....as opposed to over-thinking yet another situation. Maybe there is good/behtri in this move....maybe it will result in greater peace for ALL persons involved, but they're just not aware of it now. Sometimes we realize things down the road. I don't think you're the sole reason behind his decision, he more than likely considered the happiness of other parties as well. At some point in the future, who knows...your in-laws might come live with you again....and if/when they do, think about how you can do things differently to make life easier for yourself (such as ignoring/letting some things slide, etc).
your username makes me want to bake cupcakes...
nadz - be happy. maybe he will be happy once back to the UK as well, cus he will be coming home every day to a happy wife!!
Why don't you both move somewhere completely new like Dubai or something? That way you won't have the whole you want to live here but I don't think hanging over your heads all the time. Just a suggestion! :)