Exactly! I hate how women complain how their husbands don’t understand how much work they do at home or if they don’t help around the house…Well, what did we just witness in this thread? Women lose respect for men who stay at home even if they are doing everything they would if they were to stay at home taking care of the house and kids. We are all the same, aren’t we? If women can’t even respect men for doing what they do at home, then do they really respect themselves? Does house work have no value? Even women are saying they would not respect men if they were to “sit” at home so should their husbands respect them? Apparently, they have no respect for what they do either. I am babbling nonsense but believe me it makes total sense in my head.
What is real now was not hundred years ago. It probably wasn’t even fancied by most people. It’s real now… We can start working on teaching our kids about real respect and I am sure one day it will become a reality.
Understood. What I am asking is if it is the work that is less respectable or if it’s the person doing the work? If it’s a SAHM, she is a respectable lady. If it’s a SAHD, he is a deadbeat loser. I don’t get that. With all our focus on equality and human rights and what not, we haven’t done too well to phase out our medieval mentality.
It takes time to change and I don’t find that objectionable, but I get pissed off when people with these stereotypical beliefs refuse to admit to hold these double standards.
Theoretically speaking, wives should not have issue with this but in real life both husband and wife will have hard time digesting this.
Women can rant all about equality and how they will be ok with it but when it comes to men not working (or earning less than them), most of the women sort of (again sort of) have less respect for them…or perhaps attitude problem.
My second line was: ‘should wife be onboard’ it wasn’t '‘if she is onbaord’.
So it seems, women want the liberty to decide (unquestioned) whether they want to stay at home or work. It should be their choice and husband should support her no matter what she chooses to do.
BUT
A husband shouldn’t really expect the same. He should ALWAYS take the financial responsibility - he can’t ditch that.
No, you seem to have misunderstood what i said. By sitting at home i don’t mean literally sit at home. The fact that SAHM do WHAT they do is amazing, which is why Prophet (PBUH) said the paradise lays under the feet of the mother. The fact that she stays at home is to be cherished. That however, does not diminish or takes away from the fact that men and women who work outside don’t work as hard. Exactly how @geminifromkhi said, it’s hard to imagine a man who’d want to cook and clean and be satisfied with his role as a man in such an aspect.
There are more SAHD these days than there ever used to be. Of course these SAHD are mainly gorey. There aren’t many desi guys like this. If the dad wanted to do it and both partners agree then there shouldn’t be a problem. I do think however that its not something that will ever be widely accepted in society.
Both my parents used to work and both took equal responsibility with housework too. I remember my dad picking us up from school taking us home and making roti and salin for us when mum was at work. He used to change our nappies, feed us and bathe us when mum was at work.
I think it depends on the individual. Some guys have a “maternal” instinct. If that makes sense. My dad is a very compassionate guy alhumdulillah. He loves picking up babies and playing with kids.
My FIL though is complete opposite. He finds it mind boggling to see a guy do any kind of “woman” work.
Just one of those things.
Some women aren’t very maternal.
Most of the folks on this forum don’t care about what Islam says about anything, they are just so much into equality these days, they just don’t understand the fact that both genders are different too. Qayamat is near. Male doing female stuff & vice versa.
Stay at home dad? What the hell is that? Is he disabled?
And it totally depends upon the man of the house. If he’s comfortable with other men talking, approaching, staring, commenting and looking at her wife, he can go for that.
And if her wife enjoys looking at other men and talking to them and laughing like it’s a party on the earth, answer is yes for the both cases.
But if man of the house is man enough to grow some balls and make enough for the family and likes her wife to be seen by only those she’s supposed to be exposed to speaking from Islam the answer is No.
