Re: Should He Leave Her?
I have a question. Would any of you stay in a relationship in which you were unhappy? A quote from the bible applies "Do unto others as you would have done unto you".
Your advice should be given from sitting or standing in his shoes.
If he has tried his best and done everything he can and she still refuses to change or adapt. Time to move on.
Men I swear! Now that he has a wife and two kids he wants to run away from his responsibilities? Tell him to deal with it! He can't change his wife, that's how she is. However education might change her thoughts. If she is jealous then there definitely must be something that he is doing to make her feel that way. Why doesn't he talk to her about it, figure out why she feels that way, why there are constant fights. It's his duty to keep his wife and kids happy. I honestly don't think he should leave her. Right now they're going through a down time, if they work together they can get through it. Divorce is definitely not the best option.
Re: Should He Leave Her?
also is the guys social circle more important than his wife and kids?
Men I swear! Now that he has a wife and two kids he wants to run away from his responsibilities? Tell him to deal with it! He can't change his wife, that's how she is. However education might change her thoughts. If she is jealous then there definitely must be something that he is doing to make her feel that way. Why doesn't he talk to her about it, figure out why she feels that way, why there are constant fights. It's his duty to keep his wife and kids happy. I honestly don't think he should leave her. Right now they're going through a down time, if they work together they can get through it. Divorce is definitely not the best option.
Well said.
Re: Should He Leave Her?
Icon, its a huge thing that there are kids involved. Time for him to have a very plain and straightforward talk with the wife. That things have to change, that things need to work better somehow. Otherwise, she will end up divorced. Since she apparently does not want this then she's going to have to work with him to make things better. If they work together, make a list of all the issues and the possible ways they can resolve them then do an evaluation after a couple of months. Are things better? If not, perhaps he should leave her for a trial period. That will give him a break and will show her that he is serious. Evaluate every couple of months and see what happens.
Its huge to dissolve a marriage when kids are involved for sure. But sometimes, remaining in a miserable marriage is more detrimental to the kids than it is to have divorced parents. He needs to figure out which cateory he falls into. So the more carefully he maps out his plans the better able he will be to make the right decision.
I wish them much luck.
If those things are important to him, like her not fitting in his social circle, then he's not worth it anyway.
He seems like a narcissist. If he's so above her level of existence then ya he should do her a favor and leave her.
The kids would be worse off with 2 parents staying together just for the hell of it.
Re: Should He Leave Her?
I think she needs to be given some warning and time before any drastic steps. It's possible that she feels like this man will always feel some sort of an 'obligation'. Sometimes women form a bubble like that and do not think of the consequences because they are afraid of facing them. It's also possible that she does not know HOW to make the changes he wants to see (so some initital help and bit of a push towards education may help). It's also possible that she feels "it's too late" now that she has kids...
Re: Should He Leave Her?
If things have come to this point, I assume their wont be a constructive trust relation between them any more.
Fixing things on our own cultural terms would be,
1-finding out who she trust in her own family or circle of friends.
2-make that third person aware of the issues.
They(her own ppl) might be able to make her realise what she is not doing.
If there is no such person in her family WHAT WAS HE THINKING marrying her?
Then I guess he can back off for a long while. JAhil women take it very seriously(ha)
Then when he approach back he will be heard!!
Re: Should He Leave Her?
if both of them are on the same page regarding this situation then its fair to entertain such thoughts and discuss the future rationally with his wife. what i find unnervving is that he seems to be putting all the blame on his wife, on her lack of educationa and jealousy? sorry thats too convenient, doesn't work that way, whether he likes it or not its a partnership. she has rights too in this relationship and he cannot call the shots all on his own by considering such a huge step like divorce all by himself without consideration to the wife's input in the matter. thats just selfish, he is not alone in that relationship. rather than talking to his friends, he should really be talking to his wife regarding this matter.
Re: Should He Leave Her?
^right on target.
I am not getting the whole idea about him leaving her for a bit, so when he comes back, he is heard..:S..manipulative
Re: Should He Leave Her?
No i know EXACTLY how this guy feels. And jus how frustrating it is when some 1 is constantly not agreeing to what your saying. OR even compromising. This wife of his obviously sounds very insecure... Being jealous and having a temper and disagreeing with everything in life. Poor guy!
However i really dont think he should divorce JUST yet, Tell him to take some time apart.. See how things are then. if she continues to carry on her same behaviour then only he knows what its like to live with her no one else does, He shud do what feels right. Even tho kids are involved being divorced doesnt mean he cant be a Great father.
Its a guy i know from a long time, orphaned at young age, he was brought up by his uncle. His uncle supported all his education but at the same time, he married her girl to him. The woman in question stopped studying after grade 10 coz she was notmuch into studies and parents never bothered bcoz she was gauranteed a rishta. They were married when he had just started his career and establishing himself was all on his mind. Now he is a successful professional, has two kids, but, couple don't get along very well. He says that wife she is jealous, has a temper and cannot fit into his social circle nor she tries to change herself. They disagree on almost everything in life. He is considering a divorce.
IS he justified in this?
p.s, i recomended him not to, atleast for the sake of kids.
When a relationship fails ,it fails....whether marriage/friendship etc.There's no point in torturing yourself or make the other person suffer.
When a relationship fails ,it fails....whether marriage/friendship etc.There's no point in tourturing yourself or make the other person suffer.
Exactly!!!!!