Re: shorter/smaller weddings
It all depends on a person's feelings and thoughts. I am all for smaller one-dish weddings with personal touches. Mu sister's MIL refused to have a big Mayoon/Mehndi event and insisted on a Nikkah in Masjid, Wedding reception (Rukhsati) and Valima. My mother wanted a milad and as we are already a boring family acc. to current times i.e no over the top singing/dancing/short clothes so we could breathe easy and have fun. So, we had a milad (with the closest family), nikkah and Valima. You can call that shortish if you want. Again yellow and green were given up in favour of pink, so my sister wore that.
Again, if you feel as if you can set a trend and try to curb wayward traditions, then by all means do so. No one can stop you! After all it is your wedding! Congratulations, BTW!