Re: shorter/smaller weddings
hmmm....... i both agree and disagree with u......
i am anti all those zillion dholkis and pre-wedding parties before shaadi... like having a dholki at each relativve and family friend...... its just insane......... instead one major one is ok.
aas for mehndi its more cultural thing and not hindu tradition. shaadi keh ghar main aur afsoos wale ghar main farak hona chaiye. plus shaadi is a faraz... so i dont think celebrating it has any harm.......... but ya israf nahian hona chiaye. like u said about decor and dresses wagira.
i have attended short wedding....... they did their nikkah in afternoon at dulha's home (as the bride was a new convert and her family wasn't taking part in shaadi) and in evening they had their valima....... bride was so tired...... and so were the rest of the family..... i think it was a pretty bad idea. they didn't have mehndi or anything....... so it was pretty basic..... but too short
i am not sure if its true or not.....but isn't there a henna night in arabic countries too??? and in Islamic history.... there is incident where women used to go and sing songs with dafli/daaf in the home jidhar shaadi hoti thi.............. i will confirm this.... but i remember such incident where women got together before or on the day of wedding to sing.
but ya... there is no harm in having shorter shaadies.... but i think moderate amount is good enough.....
and ya calling guests depend on each person....... coz kisi ki khushi main shamil hona boht suwab ka kaam hai.... warna it is just so simple and easy to go to court and get a certificate....... if i have a big social circle then i will obviously call more ppl.......
Nikkah ka Ilan isshiliye hota hai so more and more ppl get to know about this union.