There was this Cricket County Club in England which was going through a rough patch...loosing one match after the other till the Manager decides to put up an advert.."BATSPERSON WANTED. ABILITY TO HIT THE BALL AN ADVANTAGE. APLLY SOOON...blah blah blah". WEEKS PASSED AND NO ONE APPLIED. THE MANAGER SAT ALONE AND WONDERED....WHAT EXACTLY IS WRONG AND JUST THAT MOMENT...IN WALKS A HORSE! WHO CASUALLY WALKS TO THE MANAGER PULLS A CHAIR, LIGHTS A CIGAR AND SAYS "I SAY...OLD CHAP...I BELIEVE YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A BATSPERSON?"..THE MANAGER IS BEWILDERED.." BUT YOU ARE A HORSE?"....." I KNOW THAT OLD BEAN...BUT YOU SEE I AM PRETTY GOOD WITH THE OLD WILLOW...AT LEAST TRY ME OUT".......SO THEY IMMEDIATELY GO OUT TO THE GROUND AND CLUB'S BEST BOWLER IS CALLED IN.....AND TO THE COMPLETE SURPRISE OF ALL...THE HORSE PLAYS EACH OF THE SIX BALLS FOR A SIX!!
"YOU ARE SELECTED...FOR THE NEXT KEY MATCH WE HAVE ON SUNDAY" SAYS THE MANAGER.
COMES SUNDAY....THE GROUND IS JAMPACKED....HAVING WON THE TOSS...THE CLUB DECIDES TO BAT FIRST....AND WE SEE THE HORSE WITH SHIN PADS ALL GEARED...WITH A PLAYER AS HIS PARTNER....WALKS TO THE STUMPS--TAKES GUARD AND TO THE SHEER EXCITEMENT & JUBILIATION OF THE SUPPORTERS---HITS ALL SIX BALLS FOR SIXES!!!! THE AUDIENCE IS DANCING AND JOY ALL AROUND.
NEXT OVER THE OTHER PARTNER PLAYS THE FIRST BALL TOWARDS GULLY AND RUNS FOR A SINGLE.....TO FIND THE HORSE CASUALLY LEANING ON HIS BAT AND STANDING AT BOWLER'S END..." RUN FRIEND RUN...FOR GOD'S SAKE RUN!!" SHOUTS THE BATSMEN!!!
"RUN?......DO ME A FAVOR MY FRIEND!!! IF I COULD RUN...I WOULD BE AT THE BLOODY EPSOM!!!!!!!" SAYS THE HORSE!!!
(That HORSE.....we had in Pakistan...was INZY!!)
spoken like a true phoney....
chalo ab jaldi se apna GS ka asli wala nick bataa do....
hellopak--you take me wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Inzy and i have been very close friends and indeed--are. When I narrated this joke to Henry Bloofeld at Sharjah and Greg Chappel at Melbourne...they fell laughing and said "good comparison" for Inzy holds a record of getting his mates 'run out' in Pakistan Cricket History! In fact Inzy himself laughed his guts out...back at Lord's before the world cup'99 when I visited them at nets.
Dont get excited ! a joke is to enjoy not to vent out feelings!
WASIM (to British Press..WAZIM) AKRAM's return from 1996 WC ODI from India.....
I was visiting my sister at Lahore. Her son being a great cricket enthusiast and a predictor (99% correct all the time) on cricket ODI results...had arranged a family gathering at their place at "J" block Model Town where we watched the unfortunate quarter-final of Banglore or Madras (cant remember it at the moment!?) where Wasim..right before the match was declared UNFIT and Amer Suhail I/O Miandad was choosen to lead and it was Amer only who got out the next ball to the one he finger pointed to the bowler that a boundary is what that ball needed to be sent to.....
After loosing that match the team returned scatteredly....and Wasim got in big trouble when his house near J block was pelted. His dad had to go in hiding..and there were sledgings, chalkings and swearings on WA.
A few days later when we were watching some other WC match, I received a phone call from my home in Karachi that someone desires my Lahore contact number--and wants to get in touch with me...I allowed. In fifteen minutes, I received WASIM's phone at my sis' in Lahore and he gave me a reference of Imran Khan--and desired to meet me. I asked him to come over immediately to which he said it will be much safe and good by evening..I said okay and there he was at "J" block....with Huma. Out of excitement--my nephews and neices were there too. Nevertheless, I said how could I help him? he said that skipper (Imran) had told him to contact me to diffuse the press-media hype against him as I have close proximity with DAWN, THE NEWS & JANG besides huge social contacts. I asked him to swear that he had this shoulder problem and I told my nephew (a Doctor) to check him..and it turned correct. I asked him what was the hinderance in making JM lead instead of AS..he said he orders...I asked 'whose?" he said he cant answer that question but he was of firm view that JM could have saved the match against India. I asked him very plainly was the match a sell off..he said people say I have made ten crore but I swear on anything I have not..though I believe that Indians betted heavily for that match--in favor of India.
Thereafter I phoned some contacts at DAWN and other papers and also spoke to my childhood family friend Mir Shakilur Rahman of JANG GROUP (who now owns GEO also ) and also requested my Dad to write something to clear Wasim from the upsurge he is facing...which just worked as I also wrote a very strong article in his favor in KHALEEJ TIMES. That all worked around 55 to 60% to diffuse the wrath of people he was facing on quarter final debacle at india in world cup-96...but in my heart and what I came to know more in later years---I think Wasim Akram was too dishonest and did not pay back Javed Miandad via gratitude Jm deserved for selecting Wasim Akram despite Imran Khan's refusal to take chances on him.
Playing County (LANCASHIRE) did wonders to Wasim that he is now doing well as an expert and commentator (sometime paying tributes to JM and mostly to Imran Khan).
He meets me very warmly whenever we bump into each other and last it was at Luxstyle Awards at Karachi-2006.
Arjay, was there a reason Wasim missed New Zealand tours during the last years of his career? I think he missed at least a couple of tours there at the end, even though he made his debut there and he would've gotten lots of wickets on those grounds. Any comments?