Islam: That shit happens is the Will of Allah!
Ahmedias: What the shit …? (reference to their not being muslim)
Wahabis: No such thing ….! (reference to the Wahabi creed/religion)
7th day adventist: Shit happens on Saturdays.
Atheism: There is no shit!
Buddhism: When shit happens, is it really shit?
Confucianism: Confucius say, “Shit happens”
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserved it.
Existentialism: Shit doesn’t happen; shit is!
Hare krishna: Shit happens Rama Rama Ding Ding !
Hinduism: This shit has happened before !
Jehovah’s Witnesses: Knock, knock, “Shit happens”
Jehovah’s Witnesses: No shit happens until Armaggedon
Judaism: Oy vey! Why does this shit always happen to us?
Mormon: Shit happens again & again & again
New Age: Shit happens and it happens to smell good!
Protestantism: Shit won’t happen if I work harder.
Protestantism: If shit happens, it happens to someone else.
Pentacostalism: Praise the shit!
Rastafarianism: Let’s smoke this shit
Taoism: Shit happens!
Unitarian: What is this shit?
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?