My fiance has just gotten a job in Karachi that he does not want to refuse, hes been in UK for over 5 years and I have been born and raised in NY. Although I did go to Pakistan for 3 years during my teenage years, I feel like I cannot settle in Pakistan again, even though its temporary (for a few years, or so he says…) We’ve always imagined living in either America or UK after marriage. His pay is just OK but they have also offered me a position and with that we should be able to live comfortably ( I hope, since we don’t really know exactly how the expenses are in Karachi as I have heard that living in Pakistan is actually very expensive). My other issue is Safety, most of my family members are telling me its a horrible idea yet somehow the people he is speaking to is telling him to take the position as well as people at his work. I don’t know what to do, my fear is that if I tell him that I’m not able to move to Pakistan is that he will always mention to me that because of me he did not take this position.. I am so confused! ADVISE NEEDED!
Re: Shifting to Pakistan after marriage?
it it gives him more opportunities then why not?
Re: Shifting to Pakistan after marriage?
People are saying that Pakistan is not a place to live anymore, my fear is thatin future when applying for jobs in another country they will choose someone with uk experience over Pakistan experience .. I am also very close to my mom as she doesn't have any family here .. I can't imagine leaving her alone.. I also don't speak a word of Urdu how will I communicate there, just so confusing!
Re: Shifting to Pakistan after marriage?
Reminds me a little too much of Nadz.
Have you spoken to your fiance about your concerns?? It will be very hard for you to adjust there ...
Re: Shifting to Pakistan after marriage?
Reminds me a little too much of Nadz. Have you spoken to your fiance about your concerns?? It will be very hard for you to adjust there ...
Well Karachi isn't Peshawar for one.
To the OP. A lot depends on where you'll live in Karachi. What kinda job is he getting? It'd be hard to give you any kind of advice without some facts.
Re: Shifting to Pakistan after marriage?
U need to go thru all your concerns meticulously with him and do some research with regards to the expenses and lifestyle.
I don't think your situation is like Nadz123 as you will be working so wouldn't get bored and I think you would be able To be more independent unless u have conservative family in Pakistan.
living in Pakistan has its own perks but u need to weigh the benefits/risks. Security is the main concern.
Re: Shifting to Pakistan after marriage?
My fiance has just gotten a job in Karachi that he does not want to refuse, hes been in UK for over 5 years and I have been born and raised in NY. Although I did go to Pakistan for 3 years during my teenage years, I feel like I cannot settle in Pakistan again, even though its temporary (for a few years, or so he says...) We've always imagined living in either America or UK after marriage. His pay is just OK but they have also offered me a position and with that we should be able to live comfortably ( I hope, since we don't really know exactly how the expenses are in Karachi as I have heard that living in Pakistan is actually very expensive). My other issue is Safety, most of my family members are telling me** its a horrible idea **yet somehow the people he is speaking to is telling him to take the position as well as people at his work. I don't know what to do, my fear is that if I tell him that I'm not able to move to Pakistan is that he will always mention to me that because of me he did not take this position.. I am so confused! ADVISE NEEDED!
I second it!! Strongly!!
Re: Shifting to Pakistan after marriage?
Do you want to give it a try at all ? If yes, then you can discuss it with him and decide to give it a try for may be 6 months or more. See if you can work, live and like it there. If not, you can come back. See if both of you can agree to returning in case you do not like it there.
Moving to a different country requires lots of adjusting so you may not know in a couple of months if you like it or not. I have moved states a couple of times and even that is hard. There is always something you think was better in the previous place.
Cost of living depends on your lifestyle too but I would imagine for 2 people to live comfortably in Karachi a good income would be around Rs. 100K if they are not renting (I suppose). Last I knew (few years ago) a friend's family was renting a 3 bedroom flat in Defence for around Rs 60 or 70k.
Defence/Clifton area of Karachi is pretty good. Work wise you will not have any language problem. You may have some problem with maid (if you get one) with language but what if you were moving to say France. People who move learn the local language atleast enough to get by.
As for your mother, what if you move to UK, you would still be away from your mother.
If your husband is getting a good opportunity, why not give it a try. May be you will like it there and he wont, who knows.
Re: Shifting to Pakistan after marriage?
Go ahead and give it a try...if it doesn't work out then can always come back. I know a few that have moved to Pakistan (Islamabad and Lahore) and are quite happy there. If you have money then lifestyle is better there. English is the official language of the country.
Re: Shifting to Pakistan after marriage?
I agree that living in UK I will still be living far from my mom but Pakistan just seems very FAR.
We've gone through all the pros and cons and he seems to have answered all the cons but its just such a huge sacrifice that I thought I would never have to do...
Re: Shifting to Pakistan after marriage?
I am also very close to my mom as she doesn't have any family here ..
How does your mother feel about you moving to PK?
I feel like I cannot settle in Pakistan again, even though its temporary (for a few years, or so he says...)
Yea well people say many things BEFORE marriage and change their view afterwards. You seriously need to think about the possibility that your fiance can easily refuse to leave Pakistan once you two move there. What will you do then?
You can't really "give it a try" without getting married (I assume you two will not be living together in PK before nikah). And once the nikah papers are signed....IF you hate living in Pakistan and your then husband refuses to leave for whatever reason....well then that puts you in a very miserable position. I'm sure you won't be the 1st desi woman whose husband "changes his mind" regarding this after nikah.
I also don't speak a word of Urdu !
This will cause major issues I would imagine. But perhaps other members currently living there can tell you more about life in PK for a desi who doesn't speak any Urdu at all. Not sure how common English is outside of the office in daily conversations.
most of my family members are telling me its a horrible idea
My personal opinion is that your family knows you better than your fiance, and any of his family, and his co-workers. I assume that there is no reason to believe that your family would NOT want what's best for you. So if they're telling you that's a horrible idea.......given the fact that you're not married yet.....I would side with them.
Re: Shifting to Pakistan after marriage?
@post#10…
dont think of it as a sacrifise…be happy and energetic about exploring a new place…pakistan is not a bad place to live and is much cheaper than living in UK/US…
if you have to get married to a family living in your neighbourhood in US…it would take time for you to adjust there too…
so be positive and i’m sure you’ll like karachi!!!
(the food and shopping:wub:)
Re: Shifting to Pakistan after marriage?
If it works out inshaAllah as he is planning, it is wise to uphimself and skip years waiting for promotions.
I know Pakistan is very far but then you get more vacation in Pakistan as compared to US (dont know about UK) so you can visit your mum every year and stay longer with her.
I think its the sound of "moving to Pakistan" thats disheartening.
Keep the option of moving back open with him in case you are miserable there.
I know of a family where the guy got a very high paying job and moved his family to KSA. They are there for few years in which he plans to save a lot and then come back. In Karachi, atleast you can drive and go out by yourself if you want to.
You will never like it if you have already made up your mind that you wont.
Think of it in the long run and not the short term inconvenience.
Re: Shifting to Pakistan after marriage?
All the concerns you raised are baseless e.g. unless your husband is going to earn less than 50k/month and you will be living in Lyari, you won't have any security issue. Clifton/DHA is a modern posh locality and you wont have any security issue. I am a Punjabi and I was told the same when I moved to karachi including stuff like racism issue/MQM etc but till date I havn't faced a single issue and on the contrary really love this place.
Anyways what is disturbing me is how come your fiancee got a better paying job here? People actually move out of Pakistan for better paying jobs and not the other way around e.g. even blue collar workers earn atleast $2000/month in the US while in Pakistan even experienced professionals with 10 years of experience and working in MNCs hardly earn around Rs. 200,000/month (equivalent to USD 2000). So if its not too personal, maybe share the job details including salary for a better response with respect to future?
Re: Shifting to Pakistan after marriage?
Your Rs. 200,000 there goes a lot further than the $2,000 that you would earn in the U.S, even if they are the same amount. You can live in a nice locality, keep a maid, and dine out every other day.
Re: Shifting to Pakistan after marriage?
Your Rs. 200,000 there goes a lot further than the $2,000 that you would earn in the U.S, even if they are the same amount. You can live in a nice locality, keep a maid, and dine out every other day.
Says who? Rent is 50k minimum for 1 kanal house. Electricity bill in summers is 50k for 1 kanal house. Driver/Guard 10k each. Each dining out trip for couple is 3k. A civic/corolla costs 2 million minimum.
Re: Shifting to Pakistan after marriage?
Says who? Rent is 50k minimum for 1 kanal house. Electricity bill in summers is 50k for 1 kanal house. Driver/Guard 10k each. Each dining out trip for couple is 3k. A civic/corolla costs 2 million minimum.
The rent seems reasonable although a little cheap for a good area. However they don't need a big house since I am assuming that it will just the 2 of them. Electricity does seems very high unless you have a big family and have a/c on in each room all the time, otherwise it should be around 15k, and in winter it is a lot less. Gas is very cheap maybe around 1k. Dining for a couple also seems a bit on the high side. I went out in Islamabad and it cost around 1k for 2, although it could be slightly more depending on the location,
Re: Shifting to Pakistan after marriage?
Okay, just Hearing how you were born and raised in USA AND how you don't have family there AND that you don't speak a word of urdu AND that you will be working there...it all is just a big NO. Sorry to discourage you right away, but you should know from before hand no matter what assurances your husband has given you.. it will be a HUGE x infinity cultural shock for you. It IS expensive, your needs will not be met comfortably unless you and him are individually earning near Rs100,000+ a month.
He is literally going back in his career growth, unless its a multi-national firm. He should think about you and the upcoming family , if you are saying FEW years, you have to think about your kids unless you don't want to do think of that yet. It's a BIG move...
Re: Shifting to Pakistan after marriage?
Well let me first explain the details about the job first.. He has completed his phd in April and is now working as a post doc in uk.. The job he got is in Aga khan as an assistant professor (huge jump from a post doc position) although he will be earning less than he does now, he’s going only because of the position he will be in, he will save years working in uk or America to get to that post and after some experience he can apply for assistant professor positon in America… They are willing to give me a job since I’ve done my MHA and work in a hospital in NY. so we should be making around 2.5 lakhs together and they are paying rent for where ever we live worth of around 20-30k. Since it will just be us 2 I doubt I will be living in a 1 kanal home but a 1 br flat somewhere … For a one bed room flat our bills shouldn’t be more than 10k a month in winter or summer, right?
I saw this link online that breaks down the expenses of Karachi .. To all the karachiites here, does this link seem accurate?
Re: Shifting to Pakistan after marriage?
With both of you working at Agha Khan, living in Defence or Clifton doesn't seem smart. You'd save a lot of time on the daily commute by finding some place nearby. Don't get too big a place and you'll automatically save on utilities. 10-15k seems just about right for utilities. However depending on the power cut duration for your new locale, you might have to invest in a power generator(is noisier but good for longer power cuts) or a UPS(quiter, but doesn't run a lot of appliances).