Shia father and suni mother

[amber19]

Re: Shia father and suni mother

@chikri_bikri

^ this is what I personally advised her that you two families need to sit together ( because I too did love engagement and my father was also like this initially but once he met he changed his mind)
But she’s like one speaks when other person is willing to listen, how can I speak when my dad switches of the call phone or locks the door or start taking sleeping pills or creating mess. It’s way complicated. Plus her dad has been saying ok we’ll go and meet for 6 months and now he said that first he’ll resolve his own issues( some business things which he is into 10 years) he doesn’t care if her daughter is 50 or 300 years old-he quoted this.
Already older relatives in family has been asking when will you marry your daughter as all her cousins are married and he in response says she wants to study and when they leave the house he says en logon nay dimagh kharab kya hai zyada shadi shadi bol k.
Mother is just way simple , her dad’s whole family say that if they speak to his dad then only because of her because she’s way humble. She’s the only one at their home who prays and do recitation. Her dad doesn’t pray doesn’t fast. Her mother has only been in this relationship because no one owns a divorced womam ,no matter brother or what. Her mother’s parents already passed away before she got marry and she has no way other than to keep silent.
Her dad never wanted a daughter, he has never been happy infact the time her mother conceived after the birth of jer her daughter her husband said abort the baby because he was afraid that it’s daughter once again but some of his relative said that it’s equal to murder so he didn’t but he was constantly saying that he’ll not keep if it’s daughter so the girls mamu said I’ll keep if it’s daughter so you guys might feel how he is.
I don’t know what she feels about her father ,does she love or not but this is what had happened with her mother/her.

Kind of a hard situation to be in. I’ve never really seen a father that wasn’t concerned if his daughter was just getting older at home and not married off.. it’s always something that’s there in the back of a parent’s mind. But I’m guessing they don’t have a close relationship. What about her brothers? Surely there’s an uncle or someone in her life who can reason with him?
Maybe she should just let her brothers and mom know that guy’s side is coming over and “surprise” her dad? If he’s avoiding the idea of them coming over, then that’s all I can really think of, but there’s just no way of knowing if he will get angry by their surprise visit or if he will come around.. it’s risky but she should maybe talk it over with her mom or siblings.

If her mother likes the guy and his family, then she needs to sit down with him and talk seriously. Her dad shouldn’t be ruining a perfectly good rishta for her, unless he has some concerns? She needs to be firm and sit both her parents down and talk to them. That’s the only way.