Hi everyone,
I have recently heard of shehndis: mehndi and shaadi in one event. Have any of you ever been to one/planned one?
It is becoming an attractive idea for a friend of mine as it would save money into one event and her husbands family could host a small valima. In the west, 3 or more day weddings get very expensive.
Can anyone shed any light on events like these?
Thank you!
Re: Shendhi? Combined events.
She can just have the nikkah at the mehndi and get rukhsat from there. The guy's side can have Valima the next day.
Re: Shendhi? Combined events.
Ive heard couples are also have "Shalimas" - shaadi + valima on 1 day
honestly it doesnt make sense to have 1 whole day just for the barat and another day for the valima
Re: Shendhi? Combined events.
I’ve never understood people who do the barat and valima both in the same event because my understanding is that the valima should take place once the marriage has been consummated…so unless there’s something going on other than photoshoot while the guests are eating 
…the valima is not valid before the ruksati.
Re: Shendhi? Combined events.
How does that explain marriages between Arab Muslims? Because rukhsatis and valimas are a cultural concept, not religious.
Honestly, just wondering.
Re: Shendhi? Combined events.
How does that explain marriages between Arab Muslims? Because rukhsatis and valimas are a cultural concept, not religious.
Honestly, just wondering.
Rukhsati is cultural whereas the waleema has its roots in Islam.
Re: Shendhi? Combined events.
Rukhsati is cultural whereas the waleema has its roots in Islam.
Which is basically the reception (the feast)... so I guess my question is how can it be invalid if there was no rukhsati, especially for the non-Indian and non-Pakistani Muslims?
Re: Shendhi? Combined events.
Which is basically the reception (the feast)... so I guess my question is how can it be invalid if there was no rukhsati, especially for the non-Indian and non-Pakistani Muslims?
Thanks for all your points guys.
This is where the confusion comes in for us as well. If we're going to cut some events, the events not required by Islam should be the first to go?
Nikkah during the day with a reception in the evening is a good idea too.
But what do we do at the reception, mehndi rasms, rukhsati and western events like cake cutting, first dance?
Personally i dont think a mehndi event can be done at the same time as a rukhsati/valima, especially if the familes like doing the whole oil and mehndi rasams, like how would it work? Ive heard of people do nikaahs on the mehndi day and a valima rukhsati later
Re: Shendhi? Combined events.
We had our Nikkah in February... We had no intention of doing any kind of rukhsati because it's not an Islamic concept and me and hubby didn't believe in it. BUT of course MIL and my mom HAD to have it done, so whatever we did it. Then the backlash from family that couldn't attend on such short notice started with people saying if they had known that was the rukhsati then they would have come. This was mainly for the elders because I guess it's an important concept. It was a stupid, anticlimactic moment because I already live alone... if anything it was a rukhsati for my husband lol.
BUT my point being, while rukhsati isn't an Islamic concept, chances are your parents, his parents and aunts and uncles think its of significance. So you should clear that first with everyone and will it cause people to be upset if they miss it.
You could do a nikkah during the day and the rukhsati (if its absolutely necessary) after the nikkah and then the reception/valima in the evening.
If you're having a mehndi, you could do the nikkah at the mehndi, do all the mehndi rasms and then the rukhsati after the rasms are done and then the reception/valima the day after.
Our reception is at the end of May and I'm kind of glad this whole rukhsati nonsense is over with because I'd much rather stick around at the hall and party than have to leave.
Re: Shendhi? Combined events.
Which is basically the reception (the feast)... so I guess my question is how can it be invalid if there was no rukhsati, especially for the non-Indian and non-Pakistani Muslims?
It seems like there is no clear ruling on this, however, I'd do my own research before making any kinda plans. Besides, doesn't the condition of consummation force the parties to get it done within the first 3-4 days. What about people who don't wanna do the dirty right away?
Re: Shendhi? Combined events.
There is no relevant Hadith or verse in Quran that states consummation is required before having walima. It’s a stupid myth that people don’t bother to research to check the relevance of.