Re: sheer curiosity…
I pretty much sit on a figurative pendulum - I have days where I crave companionship (like you say, just to have someone) and days where I am extremely anti-marriage (these are the days when I am cross at some of the cultural weirdness of our beautiful nation).
Please don’t give up on your faith/beliefs though. The dating game is a slippery slope, especially if you date for a long time. Is there anything stopping you from asking your family to help you start looking for a partner? Or you could find someone and get your family involved and keep it all Halal from the beginning? You don’t have to get married right away, it will probably take time (and realistically you’ll have to meet several people!) before you meet the right person.
She doesn’t want commitment but a hit and run multiple times.
I actually would advise against marriage to those who are not ready. Marriage could lead to babies and you don’t want to screw someone’s life when they had no choice in their parents.