Husband’s priorities: his parents and siblings
Rose Petal’s priorities: job and not moving to Pakistan
Nobody’s priority: the child
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Are you on your own?
I mean you said your famiily was not happy about this marriage
Has any of your family members seen the child?
Was your husband sending money back before marriage too?
You also said you give away money to them, is it for the child?
By all of this do you mean him or the child?
If you get divorced and get back the child, you going to work or look after the kid?
If moving back is it temporary or permanent? Will he be supporting you financially?
I do not really have much support from my family; we both belong to two different cultures hence my whole khandaan, i.e., cousins etc are still angry about this marriage.
He used to send money before wedding too, but his responsibilities towards his family seem to be just increasing.
If i had the chance, i would have taken the child and run away long ago. My parents and siblings have met the child but the thing is, whenever i go to my parents place with the child my MIL is always along, since she does not leave the child alone at all.
Moving back is permanent, he wants the kid to start the schooling in Pakistan itself. When we argue about a better future and better education for the child, he says the child can get good Islamic education only from Pakistan, though its a different story that they are not religious themselves.
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- Divorce your husband
- Get your child back and continue your job. There are single mothers who manage. So can you.
- Maybe once you divorce this excuse for a human being, your family will be there for you.
- Your MIL is abusive and teats you as a servant. Your husband is a mommas boy who hasn?t found a spine and is not about to.
3 Likes
Get your child back and move back to your parents house and still keep the job. At least you will get to see him after a long day at work, and the kid will make you lose all your fatigue. If you are in the UK, talk to social services to get your kid back.
3 Likes
What have you decided to do?
Is your family okk looking/keeping after the kid?
So he is okk with you moving back permanently with kid and he remains wherever you guys are?
Is that husband wife??
cant believe you two are really idots 
The kid was clearly unwanted by both of you?
let me get this straight…
lady here wants to keep the job and hire a babysitter out of pakistan (lets call it wonderland)
husband says, not enough money (because his family eat all his money), wife should resign and take care of baby in wonderland or take baby to Pakistan - he also eats up her money to send to his family
wife says i can’t resign and don’t want to move to pakistan either
husband says, you won’t resign - no one to take care of a baby in wonderland, so ship the kid to pakistan
wife says ok, ship the baby to pakistan
is this all the facts or i am missing something here?
Quite a messed up situation. Are you sure he did not take away your child & go to Pakistan to marry someone else & divorce you later because that’s what his mama wishes? Maybe that didn’t happen because he probably did not like the new girl back home his mama chose for him or could be any other reason.
He & his family have gone this far because you do not have any support from your own family. I would like to ask why but I think, now that you know this guy & his family are so selfish, you must get your kid back somehow, move to your parents, keep the job & see if doing that brings any positive change in your husband’s & his family’s behavior & demands from you then continue to live at your parents & never give away your baby to them again. When they know & see that you have support from your parents or any other family member(s) then most probably, it may scare them or at the least, they will change their overly demanding & unfair attitude towards you too. So it’s very important for you to get your parents or any other guardian or any other close but caring family member in this. I think they are taking advantage of your weakness which is you having no support system. Get that.
Listen mate, regardless of what happens, DO NOT MOVE TO PAKISTAN. You won’t have any sort of control or power or say then. Whatsoever. Stay wherever you are.
2 Likes
As a new mother myself this post is soo messed up on every level! if your husband is willing ti financially support you whilst you are in pakistan what the hell is the problem? judging by your level of english i am assuming you are originally from pakistan yourself? i would move heaven and earth to be with my son and would never leave him alone with anyone let alone in a different country! i have given up a successful career as a university professor to stay at home and look after my child - my husband wants to move back to pakistan next year as his parents want to watch his child grow up. i have no issues with this as it is a good outcome for everyone and for my child especially. i would live in a bloody shanty if it meant being with my kid - I am sorry but as a mother i cannot sympathise with you at all not one bit abused or not abused nothing excuses your selfish decision! You have been allowed to make a choice - seems like your main issue is living in pakistan as you clearly have no money anyway so whats the point choosing that job over your child. Pakistan is a beautiful country and so much opportunity within it and even if you have to put up with you in laws - so what! a mother would do anything for her child. This child is going to be very messed up as an adult, the real victim in all this is your baby!
I cannot believe what I have read it has actually affected me on an emotional level and i cant believe there are people taking her side! despicable and she needs a good slap!!