X2
April 12, 2011, 9:14pm
7
Re: Shall I end this marriage or not?
Hi Guys,
My husband and I dated for three years and have been married for three years too. In our six year relationship, I would say the dating days were the best ever. I never knew it was possible to love someone so much and get the same amount of love back in return. Then again, I was young, naive and innocent seeing as this was my first and I thought would be my last relationship.
When we got married the family pressures started to kick in. My in laws were extremely over protective of my husband and never seemed to like me/accept me (I don’t know why). No matter what I did to make them happy, it was never enough.
After the first year of marriage my husband became violent and aggressive. I had a gut instinct something was wrong, but I never had any proof. I continued to love him. care for him and even provide for him. Last year I received a phone call from another woman telling me he had been having an affair with her 11 months after we got married and it continued for two and a half years. I couldn’t get my head round it. I was heartbroken, shocked and devastated. My whole world fell apart. I realised he had lied to me hundreds of times and had dragged me through hell for no reason.
I fought for my marriage from the start and would have done anything for my husband/ for our marriage. Now, I think he may be on coke because all the symptoms are there and it would explain why his money is going missing, why he continued this affair for so long and why he has such bad mood swings.
He is adamant we can still make our marriage work, but how do you learn to trust someone who has caused you to get to the lowest point of your life?
We are living apart and have been for the last four months. I don’t know if he loves me, it seems like he is’t bothered about whether we stay together or not. I don’t know why he can’t fight for our marriage or be a man and be assertive.
What do I do?
before you say anything to him or anyone, talk to a lawyer, make sure you can adequately protect your rights. have a plan ready to leave him and get as much in a divorce as you can,
optional..and then talk to him about sorting the marriage out..if you want to do that. then see how it goes, give it a finite period for substantial changes to become the norm. and if it is not apparent that he is doing the best he can or making a sincere effort, walk away as soon as possible.