Shagun ka Jorra

Lifestyle Relationships
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Now the question to all the ladies (married/unmarried)

- If you don’t like anything which is brought by your saas/in laws and their choice is not up to your own standards then would you ignore their choice at a very first step like the bahu did to her MIL?

**- If NO then how would you handle the situation? **

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Re: Shagun ka Jorra

Thankfully my MIL has amazing taste in clothing and my Nikkah jorah was gorgeous.
But I can understand that the dulhan wants to look her best, if she doesn't like the dress she shouldn't be forced to wear it. If I didn't like something I wouldn't wear it. MIL should've asked bahu what her style is etc. Or even better, she could've taken DIL out for shopping and let her choose her own dress. Getting married is a big deal .. every girl wants to look her best.
My cousin didn't like her shagun ka jorah and opted to wear something else. She wore the jorah on a later event hosted by her in laws. They didn't mind at all.

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Re: Shagun ka Jorra

In the very specific situation described above (ie. MIL choosing the jora for the nikkah ceremony), I would not do what the bahu did.

I would wear whatever MIL bought for the nikaah ceremony, and choose what I want for the reception and walima.

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Re: Shagun ka Jorra

well i have been in this situation where i did not liked my eid dress brought by mil, but i wore it to keep her happy, i think these are small things, if you compromise you can be happy.

i have done this not a big deal for me

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Re: Shagun ka Jorra

I would just wear it. It's only a dress...not the end of the world.

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Re: Shagun ka Jorra


giving gift is a **gesture of love...so, accept it gracefully and send a 'thank you' note to her...it's the decent way of dealing with people! :)

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Re: Shagun ka Jorra

uneducated people make it big deal.

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Re: Shagun ka Jorra

Uhm no.
Ever heard of bridezillas?
Things like clothes are jewelry can be very important to some girls on their shaadis. I wouldn't blame a girl who doesn't want to wear something she absolutely hates on her nikkah. It has got nothing to do with being educated or not.

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Re: Shagun ka Jorra

I would wear whatever my MIL brought for me but I think its also about time we changed some things. Both sides should get eachothers opinion on such things. The girls side should ask the groom what kind of clothes he wants and guys side should ask the bride. That way everyone is happy.

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Re: Shagun ka Jorra

Prioritizing trivial things like clothing over relationship.....hmm nothing more stupid.

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Re: Shagun ka Jorra

I would wear it happily......and honor her effort.
It would make her happy and that feeling would extend to hubby as well......not to mention the rapport it would build with her.

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Re: Shagun ka Jorra

sometimes bad feelings will remain , no matter what you do.

mil should just get over it...esp if the outfit is just plain hideous (sometimes something can be beautifuil but not your taste)....

I know one MIL who' made her daughter in law wear a 15-year-old lengha on her valima... and gave her broken used shoes. now u tell me what kind of message does that send to the new daughter in law?

on the other hand, barri/warri, valima stuff...that's in laws responsibility, and I don't think one should object to it. personally, I used to be very very very picky about clothes... but even then, I still wore the outfits that my MIL got me...not a big deal I think.

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Re: Shagun ka Jorra

I don't even wear something I don't like even if my own mom who is also "* a mother who raised me with love, was the the primary caregiver blah blah " bought it

*Difference is she won't see it as an ego issue. Why just a couple of month ago I bought something for my mom which I thought would look great on her, and since she is always borrowing my clothes, I thought hey she might like it for sure. Guess what she did not. Infact hated it. No issues. Hota hai.

If my MIL gave me something which I just could not wrap my head around, even if its a designer. I would try and politely refuse and probably try and wear at a place where I am not the center of attraction for eg someone else's wedding or some other function. If it were something that if would have gone shopping would not be my first choice but probably the last option, I would 100% wear it.

If it were something khandaani, whether ugly or beautiful. I would wear w/o batting an eyelid.

I don't see it as being rude / insensitive to my MIL. I would want to incorporate everything they gave me, but personal choice is also something every individual should have. If not on the wedding day, you can always wear it later.

We forget, the a wedding day comes once in a girls life. For for us average desi girls atleast. Can we have one day to ourselves. Whole life goes according to parents/brothers/husband/sons/society.

Best thing to do here is ask the DIL what she would like and how they can together make a beautiful outift.

And why doesn't the MIL concentrate on her son's clothes more anyway ??? I'm sure she gets to dress him up if she is a "* mother rears her son in love, she is the primary caregiver of her son."*

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Re: Shagun ka Jorra

Just split the days

Shadi day : Dulhan & Dulha can wear cloths from bride side

Valima Day : both can wear dresses from groom side

will solve lot of unnecessary issues and hard feelings....

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Re: Shagun ka Jorra

I’d just let her do everything the way she wishes or pleases to. Of course that is if I were to be a mil. Awkward. :bummer:

Contrary to popular belief. I think there still are mum’s out there who actually self volunteer in helping the dil choose a dress she actually wants, maybe even go on a fully fledged race to acquire one. Just because she understands or remembers the importance it carried on her own day? I guess.

Though in case if its a stubborn mother who doesn’t believe in your choice for whatever reason? Then I guess the man is expected to make the final call. Even if it means he has to disappoint his own mother on a pretty temporary/limited basis. :frowning:

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Re: Shagun ka Jorra

perfect solution...except in alot of families, the in laws choose every outfit! I dont' know if it's a geographical thing though...

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Re: Shagun ka Jorra

:rotfl:

I love the “self volunteer”

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Re: Shagun ka Jorra

hehee....I was going to say that we are able to select what we want to wear most of the time so what if we accommodate someone else's choice for one evening?

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Re: Shagun ka Jorra

Any other day/evening, except the wedding day :p

They get the valima day don't they.....valima is part of a wedding...so why is that not enough?

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Re: Shagun ka Jorra

MIL and DIL should just shop together for the jorra. Issue over.