Sex in the time between NIKAH and RUKHSATI

[skhan]

Re: Sex in the time between NIKAH and RUKHSATI

Why hasn't this thread been locked, the question has been answered only a dozen times.

[Naughty_by_Nature]

Re: Sex in the time between NIKAH and RUKHSATI

Double contraception...arent you girls happy being on the pill...Condoms are that neccesary evil to protect you from disease...we dont want to have to wear it when we're married...

[hijab-e-zehra]

Re: Sex in the time between NIKAH and RUKHSATI

@Silver Falcon Of Kashmir

Excuse me,did I read you correctly.What’s the basis of your argument that Islam doesn’t allow it.Culturally,it may be considered ‘immoral’(which makes one wonder if the nikaah itself has not legitemized it,what will!).

Sorry but you comment on the good husband made me laugh:omg:
P.S. Please stop confusing culture and social traditions with religion.

i have not said islam doesnot allowed to perform sex with his wife but my point is that islam doesnot allow to do such things before ruksati bcoz there is a possiblility then man after perform all this with her wife before ruksathi he says that i have not done this with her then she get preg due to this iam saying is not right to do

[Sparrow]

Re: Sex in the time between NIKAH and RUKHSATI

@hijab-e-zehra

i have not said islam doesnot allowed to perform sex with his wife but my point is that islam doesnot allow to do such things before ruksati bcoz there is a possiblility then man after perform all this with her wife before ruksathi he says that i have not done this with her then she get preg due to this iam saying is not right to do

I have actually heard of this happening...very dangerous situation!

[Starsky]

Re: Sex in the time between NIKAH and RUKHSATI

@Sahar02

Islamically, there’s nothing wrong with having sex once you have a nikkah. The concept of the ruksati is a cultural one. **However, as Lusi and others have pointed out, the consummation of a marriage is something celebrated Islamically. **To do it hidden and lying to parents/family seems disrespectful to the institution of marriage itself.

Is it? To my understanding marital relations are a private matter and not something to ‘celebrate’ about. I assume you are referring to the walima which is the feast (and a Sunnah) from the guy’s side, not a celebration of consumation as some think.

[Afshi]

Re: Sex in the time between NIKAH and RUKHSATI

actually i knew a couple had their nikkah and were planning for their big rukhsati party. But the girl ended up getting pregnant, and at 5-6 months along, they had this really really small rukhsati with just the parents at the guys home...that was sad...

[S02]

Re: Sex in the time between NIKAH and RUKHSATI

@Starsky

Is it? To my understanding marital relations are a private matter and not something to ‘celebrate’ about. I assume you are referring to the walima which is the feast (and a Sunnah) from the guy’s side, not a celebration of consumation as some think.

I was thinking of the Valima, but regardless the union of a man and woman is a thing to be a celebrated. I suppose it doesn’t matter that it happens at a time that’s not significant. It’s more the unnecessary lying that bothers me.

I’m not saying you should give someone a detailed account of your sex life. I just think it’s odd that a married couple that is ready to have sex is not living together openly.

[Starsky]

Re: Sex in the time between NIKAH and RUKHSATI

^ Thats another issue, people have already given valid reasons for a couple not living together. But what I'm saying is consumation is nobody's business, its a private matter between the couple.

[S02]

Re: Sex in the time between NIKAH and RUKHSATI

^Those valid reasons are about "getting to know eachother in a halal manner" or "immigration issues." If they're having sex, they're obviously "together," why not do a ruksati.

[Impulse]

Re: Sex in the time between NIKAH and RUKHSATI

@Naughty by Nature

Double contraception...arent you girls happy being on the pill...Condoms are that neccesary evil to protect you from disease...we dont want to have to wear it when we're married...

I suppose it depends on how selfish the guy is. pills are not good for a womans health....condoms have no affect on a mans health....hence its obvious which one the selfish guy will choose and which the others will choose.

[Impulse]

Re: Sex in the time between NIKAH and RUKHSATI

@Sahar02

^Those valid reasons are about "getting to know eachother in a halal manner" or "immigration issues." If they're having sex, they're obviously "together," why not do a ruksati.

it even says in the Quran that a man shouldnt get married until he can financially support his wife properly. hence if it will take him another 6months/a year to settle down properly....its better to get nikah done so at least the guy and girl can talk and meet islamically

[S02]

Re: Sex in the time between NIKAH and RUKHSATI

^ But then he's married.

[ImranQ]

Re: Sex in the time between NIKAH and RUKHSATI

@Impulse

exactly....some people here on GS are so narrow minded and pathetic. there is nothing wrong with birth control....

abortion is haram-yes

birth control is totally ok...

birth control as in withdrawal or condoms not sure about pills though!
don't pills disband???

[Raatkirani]

Re: Sex in the time between NIKAH and RUKHSATI

@Lusi

Well once you have consumed the marriage (be it before rukhsati) you need to have the valima asap and announce that you are living togather.

I think instead of hiding and doing stuff in fear, just tell your parents that you want to live togather and then do whatever you wish to do without being the fear that what if i get pregnant or someone finds out, etc etc. Yes you are husband and wife but once you have consumed the marriage you have to announce that you are living togather.

It's CONSUMMATED not consumed. And you are misinformed about the purpose of a valima. People propogate this myth that the valima celebrates the couple sleeping together. That's totally unIslamic, and in reality, all the valima does is celebrate the marriage of the couple with a dinner for family and friends. Many many couples are unable to actually have sex their first night together for various reasons. That doesn't nullify their marriage, nor does it prevent them from celebrating their union. And many many couples do not live together immediately after their marriage either, and that doesn't demote their marital status.

Islam is pretty simple. Nikah means you are married. You can do whatever you want with your husband. Rukhsati is totally cultural and has no recognition in Islam. It's up to the couple how they want to handle their intimate life together. Nothing wrong with with having sex after your nikah, nothing wrong with waiting either. As for those who question why people have nikahs without rukhsatis, in Islam, any contact with your fiance without a mahram chaperone is haram. Talking to him/her on the phone without a mahram listening is haram, chatting with him/her online is haram, going out for coffee together is haram, holding hands is haram, etc etc. A lot of couples want the freedom to move around with their fiance and the freedom to do affectionate things, like talk privately or go out, without incurring sin, so they have a nikah first and the rukhsati later. Also, our cultural traditions are also so complicated that our weddings take forever to plan. We HAVE to get a custom bridal lehnga with matching grooms outfits, we HAVE to have ten dances choreographed for our mehndis, we HAVE to travel halfway around the world for our zewar and 101 outfits, etc. It can take months to do that, and in all honesty, it's hard not to want to be close to your fiance. Might as well do the nikah so no one is sinning.

[Kaka_MaNNa]

Re: Sex in the time between NIKAH and RUKHSATI

So, the question has been answered? I don’t say that the popular thread feature at bottom of the gupshup index page said it.

[Mehnaz]

Re: Sex in the time between NIKAH and RUKHSATI

Question answered.

Move along please