Sex as a weapon

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: Sex as a weapon

these are the only valid reasons for a divorce, just for info as i saw an earlier post suggesting valid grounds of divorce.

This is a response from a scholar and can be read in detail as well as other related topics at

Valid Reasons for Divorce - IslamonLine.net - Ask The Scholar
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There are genuine cases when divorce is the only option available. Here are a few valid reasons:

  1. Physical, mental, or emotional abuse or torture. When one of the spouses becomes abusive and inflicts physical, mental, or emotional torture, and is not willing to change by taking practical measures through therapy or counseling, then it is a valid reason for seeking divorce, for the Islamic principle states, “There shall be no inflicting or receiving of harm.” Zhulm (injustice) is not tolerated in Islam, regardless of who the perpetrator is.

  2. Failure to fulfill the objectives and purposes for which marriage was initiated. This can be utter incompatibility between the partners, which may be expressed by their irreconcilable differences in temperaments, likes, and dislikes.

  3. Marital infidelity. This can be a major cause for dissolution of marriage, for marriage is built on trust and confidence. Its main purpose is to preserve the chastity and modesty of those involved. Once this foundation is eroded and undermined and there is no chance to restore the same, then divorce is the way to go.

  4. Failure of the husband to provide. When the man, who is considered the provider and maintainer of the family, fails to shoulder his responsibilities and the wife decides that she cannot continue tolerating his shirking of responsibility, this is grounds for divorce.

Any one of the above-mentioned reasons can be considered as a valid ground for divorce in Islam. If in a legitimate case warranting a divorce a husband refuses to divorce his wife, then she is certainly justified by Islamic Law to approach the proper legal authorities to get a divorce: The judgment of divorce thus rendered by such authorities can be deemed as valid in Islam. May Allah help us all to conduct our affairs with sound wisdom, understanding, sincerity, and faith. Ameen.
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22

Re: Sex as a weapon

hmmmm when I read the title i thought it was about something else, like someone using their thingies as a club and numchucks..

carry on carry on.

but seriously now

sex as a weapon, ignoring someone as a weapon, silent treatment etc.
is is all not part of the same problem, an immaturity and inability to address issues in a grown up way?

23

at the end of the day Pir Sahab all these so called "tactics" are all a sign of immaturity and nakhray. Then again there are some cases where idiots deserve this kinda treatment :D

24

kaun my friend, it would be off topic to continue this discussion, however, the list you have presented is not all inclusive. It is only one source.

Let’s not discuss anyway the grounds for divorce.

25

i do understand that this is off topic but n e ways, khair i do understand what you are saying and will refrain from continuing with this :k:

26

Kaun, u are also allowed to divorce if u no longer find ur spouse attractive or there is no longer a ‘bond’, much as it might not go down well in our culture it is mentioned in hadith.. Just wanted to add that point as not many ppl are aware of it and the feeling often is that Islam is harsh on women when it’s not. The list u’ve mentioned above does not cover the only valid reasons for divorce:

'“However, I dislike unbelief [kufr] in Islam,” meaning that since there is no love between us, I do not want it to lead to disobeying him or anything else that may come there off.

She did not have any other complaint against him which she made clear, but the bond was just not present, so the Messenger (upon him be peace) told her she could seek a divorce. This is because Islam does not force people to remain together if there are valid reasons for separation.

Source: Seeking divorce because of unhappiness and a change of heart

'If she dislikes his physical appearance because of some deformity or ugliness, or because one of his faculties is missing, she has the right of khula’.

Source: Islam Question and Answer - Examples of acceptable reasons for asking one?s husband for khula?

Us desis don’t like to mention the wife’s rights when it comes to marriage in Islam (think how many ppl actually still believe it’s encouraged for wife to live with inlaws when infact the opposite is true, unless they’re old, lonely or infirm) whilst in Arab culture it’s far more easy for a woman to divorce and remarry as in their societies there isn’t nearly as much stigma.

Sorry for the off-topic post, just wanted to add a bit to the other two posters’ points above.. I will shut up now :smiley:

27

Thanks Deeba, well to be honest this is not the best topic we are discussing but some ppl do mention things and they kinda bother me if i am not sure bout em, thus i did this lil research of mine and found this, as we can see it was not the complete thing thus i do appreciate ppl adding their insight, on the other hand i do wish for everyone married and going to be married key ALLAH aap sab ko iss laanat sey bachaaye, Aameen :k:

28

okay let's take out cheating (whatever your definition of cheating is) but can u blame him for being frustrated? sometimes a man does everything for his wife but she wont have sex for whatever reason.

what about the opposite? if she wants more sex than he does..

whatever floats your boat....

29

i suppose that is true. but if these tactics are part and parcel of a relationship then maybe its time to throw in the towel and walk away

Groom's bari
30

hell yeah, but then i am an advocate of marriage and am totally against divorce until its totally unbearable :bummer:. I say Shaadi kee hai to nibhaao aur nibhwaao, my honay waali wife doesnt know what she might get herself into :evil:

31

[quote="Sara516, post:303, topic:213685"]

okay let's take out cheating (whatever your definition of cheating is) but can u blame him for being frustrated? sometimes a man does everything for his wife but she wont have sex for whatever reason.

what about the opposite? if she wants more sex than he does..

[QUOTE]

whats the real issue here....

a) is the issue that he/she wants sex and the other person doesnt want to do it?

or

b) the issue is that there is some underlying issue and the wife/hubby is not sexually pleasing their spouse in order to make a point?

if its the first, then i still believe there might be some underlying factor... exhausation, work related issues, financial concerns... just something..

with the second issue... they just need to be mature about it and address the problem rather than being childish

32

Re: Sex as a weapon

You know how people get immune to poison? They start eating poison in very little amount. Point is dont use the weapon too much to make it in effective.

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Sialkot exporters to launch airline
33

Re: Sex as a weapon

:hmmm: :hehe:

34

why use the weapon at all ? :hmmm:

35

Re: Sex as a weapon

C’mon lads - tell her loud that you have successfully survived without sex for some 20 + years - so you wont die in twenty days :slight_smile:

Tell her you would happily date Rosie Palm and her five sisters instead of begging
as De duobus malis, minus est semper eligendum :slight_smile:

so she can go and join the daughters of Bilitis :snooty:

a man should trust his hands innit ?

36

coz sometimes latoon k bhoot batoon sai nahee mantey :slight_smile:

37

Re: Sex as a weapon

Now you know why men cheat. The woman uses it as a weapon and he goes out and get some for himself the old fashioned way. In the bar :D

38

Re: Sex as a weapon

Which leads to less safe sex at home and more STDs and sex with nasty whores.

:k: congrats

39

:k:

How Hard Is To Kill A Cockrocah?
40

Re: Sex as a weapon

a cheater will cheat regardless .....................