These days we are constantly concerned with setting a good example for the young ones.
How come I grew up seeing my Papa smoking, but never once have wanted to myself? Nor have I condoned it as being acceptable behaviour.
How come some of us lived through so many negative things and we didn’t take them up, yet we are so concerned with our kids learning from our bad habits?
Re: Setting Examples for Kids
Hm interesting..
Re: Setting Examples for Kids
hmm… very Interesting that’s wot i was thinking like Sara, Muzna is very good bachi..!! 
but her joining date on this forum is 1970 
after reading this i think Muzna is a little bit chalu too
Re: Setting Examples for Kids
Not every thing kids see they adopt later in life…. There are many factors at play in child’s learning, like environment, parents, society exposure to media and every kid perceives different information differently based on their understanding… Parents’ responsibility is to encourage and foster good and positive behavior by not only setting an example but also foster that surrounding and environment that means exposing them to information that can help them make their minds instead of forcing rules on them…
Re: Setting Examples for Kids
Well, there are several things I want to be an example/role model for my kids.. like parents should pray and read Quran in view of the kids so that they get that its something that you have to do.. i wanna instill good studying and eating habits (like real nutritious meals) etc etc.. :hinna:
Re: Setting Examples for Kids
very simple… Quran says: Balil Insaano A’la Nafsehi Baseerah that is Indeed every human being knows of what he/she does (knows his/her Nafs).. tafseer of which is that Allah:swt: has put the concious of good and bad in human beings’ nature already.. some get guidance from it and some suppress the feelings and listen to the whispering of Shaitaan out of their free choice 
That’s why Zikr means Reminder in Arabic… When you teach someone good or set an example, that is just a reminder to others of what is in their NAFS already :~)
Re: Setting Examples for Kids
a co-worker of mine use to say...
Nia my father taught me alot and he never realized what he did... he taught me not to be like him.
I think as many of us have experienced both cultures Pakisani and American - it has created a nice blend for us.
Re: Setting Examples for Kids
The example you set for kids is absolutely critical.
An old family friend of mine was once a little kid when his mother asked him to go do namaaz. He turned to her and said that namaaz is for women only and men don't have to do it.
Of course, she was shocked and asked him where he got that idea from?
His calmly explained that "You never see Abbu praying, do you?"
Re: Setting Examples for Kids
maddy,
granted....these kinds of innocent comments will arise.....but do you think that little kid will truly believe that when he grows up?
Re: Setting Examples for Kids
So did he ever grow up thinking only wmoen pray 
Re: Setting Examples for Kids
I think that the events of your childhood greatly shape your future. So if as a child you think prayer is trivial or simply ritual, short of a major experience in life later on you would most likely continue to feel the same way.
Re: Setting Examples for Kids
how about if I show you a child that grew up with both parents praying five times a day and he, himself will not.
I guess things could go either way.......but there must be some determination as to what has impact and what doesn't
Re: Setting Examples for Kids
Nature versus nurture is a common debate. There is no one answer to which takes precedence or has a bigger impact. Majority of the times, people shape their personalities based on their experiences…guidance from parents is also an experience. It’s impact may vary depending on the nature of the kid. Some children are more receptive to instructions than others. Even though your dad smoked, I’m sure he never encouraged you to take it up.
Re: Setting Examples for Kids
Personally, I was always taught to 'do as I say, not as I do' in terms of how my family brought me up. Children that I work with know that they have rights and do not always need to listen.
Re: Setting Examples for Kids
Mohabbat, who wants to listen to you anyway..even kids know that 
Re: Setting Examples for Kids
It depends if the kid is taught prayer as just a ritual or something more than that.
My dad’s sister is the religious aunty in the family, and her husband is very religious too. 5 times every day, bang on time every time.
They always make sure their son goes to pray. I happened to look into his room once where he dutifully went to pray when his dad told him to pray - and saw him lay out the janimaaz on the floor and then just sit on the bed killing time until enough time went past for his parents to think he was done praying.
Frankly, I did the same thing for a few years as a kid. Daily prayer were something my mother nagged me to do 5 times a day, and I eventually figured out that if she thought I was praying then all was good, regardless of what I actually did.
My parents taught me to pray regularly; they didn’t teach me why it was so important to pray regularly (other than saying basically that it’s obligatory for Muslims). I ended up having to learn that and appreciate that msyelf.
Re: Setting Examples for Kids
Worry not, Mr. Fayz, you will never get to listen to me anyway. 