My mom might sometimes warm my dad's roti for him or warm up the salan if he asks.......but usually my dad does it on his own. My dad will make chai for my mom and he likes to cook on the weekends. And when we hold parties.... he's pretty active in the cooking, getting the dishes set to be served, helping my mom in the kitchen, etc. I've always felt that my mom is fortunate that my dad takes an interest and helps her out (parties especially can be stressful). My mom doesn't feel the "need" to wait or serve my dad first. With my parents, there isn't a strong distinction regarding this particular role.
Your dad sounds like my dad. My dad will make his own chai, and even chai for my mom. He'll get up and get his own food, even if offered, he will decline...I am sooo grateful that he is like this, honestly when I witness the pampering behavior at other people's homes it feels strange to watch, Really. Party time comes around he's marinating the chicken and helping too, he's made us iftars too.
Its not really a big deal...men get food first but its because they usually have to go sit separately and the food is typically laid out in the kitchen areas where the women are.
So, they take it and disappear into whatever portion of the house they're in and the women can serve themselves and children at their own pace without worrying about the men waiting.
^ That is usually in a davat scenario. At home, my mom will serve food for my dad because she has it sorted separately for him. He has health issues and she cooks his food different.
In a davaat scenario it makes sense to get them out of the way first, they usually don't have kids pulling them in different directions.
Why some people are being so defensive about it? Its an old school European culture as well, which still carries. The idea is to serve the head of the family or the oldest member first, its considered good manners and enforces some form of discipline. For most people their husbands are considered head of the family or bread winners so get served first, but in our families the elders get served first, be it the grandads or grandmas, irrespective of the fcat that husbands are around.
Who made the husband the head of the household? Uskay mathay par likha hai?
My mom and my sister are just as important as me and my father.
^
lol. well this one IS!!!
i mean, hindus actually Believe that women r nothing without men. orat paaon ki jooti and all that jazz. its all from hindu culture.
^We all used to live in Bare sagheer. Hindus, Muslims living together. At that time people celebrated things together just as friends & neighbors do & many things that are actually in Hinduism become South Asian culture. There is no doubt that many habits that hold religious values for Hindus have become traditions for us Muslims.
Now to Sara. The only time I serve hubby is when I make his favorite dishes & I am too excited for him to start eating. Other than that he always asks me to take a serving first but always ends up taking it before me.
When we are eating outside he almost always makes a point of pouring the food for me in my plate. Makes me love & respect him even more.
So by just serving the food first to her husband, a woman becomes a nothing creature and paoon ki jooti and whatnot? Is it really not possible for woman to willingly serve her husband, serve the father of her childern out of love and respect?
Some of the comments on this thread are downright ridiculous and embarrassing.
Jolie - you're misunderstanding my point. its OK if the woman is doing it out of love or whatever. but if she's Expected to do that - like a Duty - then that's suffocating.
Usually wives know what their husbands prefer when it comes to food (i.e., my husband doesnt like whole spices or certain pieces of boti) and serve them accordingly.
Errrr, maybe the family itself? We're not talking about your family here. Rules, attitudes and practices differ from family to family and thats the bottom line.
Maybe in some familes women are made to serve their husbands first on gun point but you'd fine in many familes, women serve their husbands first merely out of habit and good manners, in fact most women its just the way of showing that they're in charge! Nothing all so discriminatory and victimising about it.
men telling his wife I want that boti 
