Re: Serving the Husband
That’s how it should be said! Thumbs up
Re: Serving the Husband
in my family elders are served first. These days its usually my dadi and everyone takes out their own food. As far as dawats are concerned everyone is served at the same time be it two tables or just one.
Re: Serving the Husband
I never saw this serving thing in my own home (in Pakistan), Allah ka shukar hai. My mom would cook and heat up the food, and we would help her serve on the table, then all of us would eat at the same time, make our own plates and all, including my dad.
Even at my in-laws, the food is served on the dastarkhuwaan and everyone makes their own plate, my MIL usually eats at different hours since she’s diabetic and I’ve never seen her making my FIL’s plate… woh apni marzi sai khaana laitay hain.
Here, since I work full-time and have my daughter to feed… my husband mostly opens up the fridge and heats up his own food. All I ask him is what do you want to eat and cook whatever he wants.
I’m from back home, not western born 
Re: Serving the Husband
Thats simply ridiculous, I’ve never seen it happening in my family in my entire life. The only preferred method adopted is to serve first to older people, OR serve the guests first. And thats about it! Still there is no hard and fast rule in it..
Re: Serving the Husband
I think the philosophy behind this is that the women work hard to make a pretty presentation so when they invite the men to eat first it's because they want some appreciation of their effort and display, not a splish splash all over the place badly abused buffet. Also, women like to take their food aram aram sey so once the men are gone, they can fill up their plates!
Usually at our davats, we have the kids take food first. Then the menfolk, and then the women. At home, we eat together. Even if hubby takes his food first, he never starts a meal without me.
Re: Serving the Husband
Pfft Traditions are important. Old is gold. Stuff liek that. Now one of you women, go make me a sammich!
Re: Serving the Husband
Also, women like to take their food aram aram
because they have to share mouth b/w eating and talking?
not to mention that during all this eating and talking, they have to share info how good the dish is and how bad their nund makes it.
Re: Serving the Husband
That’s right D6C 
Re: Serving the Husband
yes good for her for not following the norm…this is exactly like it should be 
i’ve seen it like that whenever my parents had a dawaat or something they used to let the men go first i never understood it…last time i had a dawaat at my house i just told everyone to go at the same time it was all family so it’s not like there was a pardah issue or anything of course when i said that my mom was like “nahin mardon ko pehlai kahnai dho” like why they’re not superior than us or anything lol…at home when it’s just me and hubby he won’t eat until i do even when i have to work late he still waits till i get home to eat dinner and he also helps with the cooking and other chores 
Re: Serving the Husband
i think this is a beautiful custom of our culture .. it shows respect and values ..
women's hearth is in the home .. its her domain originally.. to prepare n serve food to men first preferably
y think negatively about it .. see the beauty in it ..
it can n probably is adjusted in west but back in punjab its very much looked down upon if women dont act accordingly
Re: Serving the Husband
^So only men should be respected and valued??
Re: Serving the Husband
^ thats not what i said nor meant
Re: Serving the Husband
But she is right. Only men should be valued.
Re: Serving the Husband
soni27 for President ! 
Re: Serving the Husband
OMG… soni27… new target for all feminists… 
Re: Serving the Husband
^ thats not what i said nor meant
I know, just trying to bug you :p
To each their own. If a woman wants to do it out of love and respect and feels good doing it..... why not.
But I get really angry at women who make their daughters wait while their brothers eat first and giving them the idea that they are secondary in value. Unfortunately, that happens a lot in our culture.
Re: Serving the Husband
Its not really a big deal...men get food first but its because they usually have to go sit separately and the food is typically laid out in the kitchen areas where the women are.
So, they take it and disappear into whatever portion of the house they're in and the women can serve themselves and children at their own pace without worrying about the men waiting.
^ That is usually in a davat scenario. At home, my mom will serve food for my dad because she has it sorted separately for him. He has health issues and she cooks his food different.
Re: Serving the Husband
I know, just trying to bug you :p
To each their own. If a woman wants to do it out of love and respect and feels good doing it..... why not. But I get really angry at women who make their daughters wait while their brothers eat first and giving them the idea that they are secondary in value. Unfortunately, that happens a lot in our culture.
eh? where?
I have never seen sisters waiting for brothers to finish.
Re: Serving the Husband
^I have :(
You probably dont have a rural background.
Re: Serving the Husband
I think the philosophy behind this is that the women work hard to make a pretty presentation so when they invite the men to eat first it's because they want some appreciation of their effort and display, not a splish splash all over the place badly abused buffet. Also, women like to take their food aram aram sey so once the men are gone, they can fill up their plates!
Usually at our davats, we have the kids take food first. Then the menfolk, and then the women. At home, we eat together. Even if hubby takes his food first, he never starts a meal without me.
Thats interesting....this is the first time I am ever hearing a reason for why men have to be served first at davats
at home I don't mind, I do serve him food not b/c he demands it but as a basic courtesy...i.e., if anyone else were home, I would do the same for them. there are times when he will pour it himself....so its not a big deal.