I am facing a big dilemma and hope some of you ladies who are mothers and have gone thru delivery and post natal care would be able to give me some insight.
I am currently in North america to have our baby, I am 31 weeks preggers alhamdulillah…and so far there have been a few hiccups but I am praying that they get under control. Right now we are faced with another complex decision to make.
Baby will inshAllah be coming in the middle of summer and the place I am in is a huge summer tourist attraction which means that prices for apartments are gonna sky rocket. It is also quite a ways away so one has to fly to get to this place, and the ticket prices are gonna be high as well almost doubled or tripled
The ppl I am staying with right now have a small apt and 2 kids… if my hubby comes it would put the hostess and my hubby in an awkward position not to mention no space for maneuvering for either of them, so it was decided that we would look for a place to stay when hubby comes to join me.
I have been researching for places and the ones close to the hospital or within a reasonable distance are majorly expensive. The ones that we would be able to do within our budget are almost an hour and a half commute away. And with the baby on the way I would rather not take a risk, we will not have a car and will be using public transit.
Now the dilemma is that should I tell my husband not to come, and have the baby on my own ( I will be staying with the family but will have to do all the post natal work myself) and as soon as the legal work is done we pack up and leave.
If hubby comes we would be under a lot of financial pressure for a couple of months, we do have some savings and some expected savings in the coming months but we would essentially be using up both of them.
At this point of time doctor has assured me that they will not be performing a C-section until and unless it is really really needed. So I am praying that I have a natural delivery with minimum stitches.
the cheap ones are available only to single students or travellers. And most of the places are rooms shared in a house where the landlords do no accept an infant. :( ....
I did come to these two options only after researching and talking to ppl for days/weeks
ýou will definately need someone to help you post delivery.... you just cant do it alone. and you never know, if you have a c section, then going solo is out of the question...
either your friend helps you out.. a whole lot... or ure husband comes
a lot of desi families rent out their basements ...see if you can find something like that?
it would be still too much to put on the hostess to take care of you and the new baby alongwith her own family ... i will suggest to have your hubby here ... check the local pakistani newspaper or place the ad in local mosque.. u should be able to get relatively cheaper place for couple of months or so... most likely its gonna be basement... i think some desis even rent a room too...post ad in a local desi grocery shops aswell... inshallah u will find some place soon.... u need lots of support (physically and emotionally) from your husband after the baby....
and financial issues?.. yeh sab tou kabhi khatem nahi hootay... par baby rooz rooz nahi aata...
yeah ...prob is that the desis are concentrated in an area which is abt an hour and a half away from the hospital I will be receiving care at. And since we don't have a car, don't plan on getting one it is gonna be tough for the hospital appointments. Local transit is great but around the downtown area and the area that the hospital is in.... but go into the desi area and u are very much in need of a car....
I only know of one local desi store, and not any other desi sites. I have pretty much tapped into all other sites for furnished apartments... :'( ....
Pls pray that Allah makes it easier for us....
@yourfriend : I know financial issues are always gonna be there...but prob is the money in hand is not gonna be enough.... and if we were to borrow we would be doing it against future savings...so am a little stressed about that part...
Did you inquire at the hospital about short-term housing? Some hospitals offer this for patients who have come from afar, sometimes they may offer dorm-style apartments at very reasonable rates. They could also tell you about possibilities like Ronald McDonald house, you may be able to get into one of those which would actually be very nice, lots of helpful hands around!
I don't know how close you are to the people that you're staying with, but would it be possible to ask them what they think about you staying with them after the baby comes? Again, it depends on how comfortable you are with them..and whether you'll be comfortable with them after the baby comes.
But staying with them will provide you with some support, if your hubby decides not to come. If you end up moving out, then I strongly suggest that hubby comes before the baby is born to help you through the delivery and afterwards as well.
I can understand it's a difficult position for you to be in. Hopefully it works out for the best! Just make sure you have it planned out soon, so you're not running around trying to figure out what to do in the last weeks or so.
I think you'll need someone as close as a husband, parent, or sibling to support you after you give birth. Even if it all goes smoothly, I think it's a lot to expect of yourself. You're strong, I'm sure you'll manage, but if you can have the support, it would be great.
I was also going to suggest about short term housing by the hospital as well. You should seriously look into that option. Like Sahar mentioned, at a time like childbirth, you really need the support of your hubby or mother. I wouldn't recommend trying to do it all by yourself.