How do you seperate your relationship with your family and your husband? So if you are upset about something which the family does or says (either yours or his about the other party) how do you stop it affecting your personal relationship with him?
Re: Seperating Emotions, is it possible?
I believe when either of the family says or does something which upsets one of the parrtners,then the other partner should be there to support him/her,and to encourage and make the other person feel good.
Re: Seperating Emotions, is it possible?
You can't seperate it. Don't bother trying. It will just give you a headache and cause you to post here.
Re: Seperating Emotions, is it possible?
wait til miss redvelvet gets on ul gt some good advice.
but il put in my 2 cents nvr get family matr/differnces betwwen u n ur hubbys relationship.der r no ways of doin so... u just ve to be able to build uo dt understandin wid ur hubby and dont keep runin to him for every smal thing his or ur fmaily says bout the other. u need to listen n forget some stuf n build up on ur relationship wid ur hubbby.
Re: Seperating Emotions, is it possible?
Its going to be hard because the other family is directly connected to your spouse. However, in these cases...its best to try and block out what you're feeling towards his family when dealing with him. He may not know or have much control over it. So how is it his fault? Yes, when you're married you are supposed to be each others' advocates but its not always possible.
You cant control the other person or what they do no matter how hard you try...just yourself. My take is...try to block it out when you're dealing with your spouse.
Re: Seperating Emotions, is it possible?
dont talk to him about it.
the last thing he wants to hear is someone saying something against his family or anything negative about them. no man no matter how good he is to his wife would stand for that.
also...if your family is saying something negative about him...dont tell him because it may cause him to have ill feelings towards your family and you wouldnt want that either.
my suggestion...keep it to yourself if you want peace and harmony within the family. somethings are best left unsaid.
Re: Seperating Emotions, is it possible?
never been put in that position (since im not married! whoo hoo!!!)
so yeah...but from looking at my mom, well she manages it well...
if my dad family (jerks) say something to her, she tells him about it & they talk about it...blah blah & deal with it that way...
i think talking about it is HELPFUL... but then again its hard to talk to desi husbands' from what i've seen...
Re: Seperating Emotions, is it possible?
never been put in that position (since im not married! whoo hoo!!!)
so yeah...but from looking at my mom, well she manages it well...
if my dad family (jerks) say something to her, she tells him about it & they talk about it...blah blah & deal with it that way...
i think talking about it is HELPFUL... but then again its hard to talk to desi husbands' from what i've seen...
yep! agreed. it really depends on the guy and the kind of understanding you two have with each other.
Re: Seperating Emotions, is it possible?
dont talk to him about it.
the last thing he wants to hear is someone saying something against his family or anything negative about them. no man no matter how good he is to his wife would stand for that.
also...if your family is saying something negative about him...dont tell him because it may cause him to have ill feelings towards your family and you wouldnt want that either.
my suggestion...keep it to yourself if you want peace and harmony within the family. somethings are best left unsaid.
then what kind of relationship is that?
if you don't talk to your spouse about anything?
if i get married im going to put everything out on the table, i think husband & wife should be friends & share everything... i know you can't share EVERYTHING but if his family says something im definitely going to let him know, why must i hold it in & suffer??? no way in hell...
Re: Seperating Emotions, is it possible?
then what kind of relationship is that? if you don't talk to your spouse about anything? if i get married im going to put everything out on the table, i think husband & wife should be friends & share everything... i know you can't share EVERYTHING but if his family says something im definitely going to let him know, why must i hold it in & suffer??? no way in hell...
who said dont talk to your spouse about ANYTHING? i said dont whine and complain about his parents. no one wants to hear anything negative being said about their parents. AND if you do..be prepared for when he does the same about your parents. I for one will not be able to hear anything bad being said about my mom and I know he wouldnt like me saying anything negative about his parents either.
I wouldnt complain to him about it because I dont want him to be stuck in the middle or feel that Im trying to pull him away from his family or take my side. I rather just bear it all and handle them (politely) in my own way like I would do with anyone.
but that's just me. : )
Re: Seperating Emotions, is it possible?
who said dont talk to your spouse about ANYTHING? i said dont whine and complain about his parents. no one wants to hear anything negative being said about their parents. AND if you do..be prepared for when he does the same about your parents. I for one will not be able to hear anything bad being said about my mom and I know he wouldnt like me saying anything negative about his parents either.
I wouldnt complain to him about it because I dont want him to be stuck in the middle or feel that Im trying to pull him away from his family or take my side. I rather just bear it all and handle them (politely) in my own way like I would do with anyone.
but that's just me. : )
hmm...yup thats just you :]
i wouldn't be able to do that ...