Re: Separation to save our marriage
How can you attempt to change the relationship in a ‘positive manner’ if you plan to have ‘zero contact’ with him? If you think about it, it doesn’t make much sense.
I agree with Reha. You both should be a team. It’s not uncommon for one spouse to give up work and education for a while, or to go from staying at home to working full time to support their partner/kids, or to move to another location..sometimes even internationally…for their partner and the marriage. There will always be times when either partner will find themselves sacrificing their time, their money, their sleep for the other…but you do it for the overall good for the marriage and children…and so it’s not a complete and utter loss; there is some good (hopefully) to be gained from those compromises provided that you see the bigger picture and not just zero-in on the what you have had to give up.
Your post is vague, Op. You have not really provided us with enough reasons for why you think a divorce is the best or even valid decision. Maybe you will expand upon it later. Children move to new locations all the time from cities to countries to schools. And it can be challenging but it’s not impossible. And younger children don’t form as strong attachments with their environment, so change is easier for them to adjust to.
If you seek a more positive change in your relationship, you can do that by changing your body language and manner of speaking to your husband. But I think you already knew that. You avoid things like sarcasm and snide remarks and accusations and bringing up the past and keeping score and trashing each others’ parents and and cursing etc etc. You mentally and verbally acknowledge the good traits in each other, you show gratitude/appreciation for the big and little things, you praise more than criticize, etc etc.